Summary: Tragedy hits the JAG office. Will anyone survive the downfall?
AN: I decided to try my hands at a little something new. I have an idea where I want this to go, but I reserve to right to change my mind at any time.

“Ok what do you have here Smith?” Johnson stated. He had just arrived at the scene and was already uneasy about what he saw.

“It doesn’t look good Johnson. Driver is a female, approximately 35 years old was involved in a major motor vehicle accident.” Smith replied.

“I kind of figured it was an accident, Smith. You care to tell me more about the victims?” Johnson answered obviously annoyed. He shouldn’t be taking this out on the kid, but damn he hated scenes like this. He stood and surveyed the scene before him. It was horrific to look at. He could barely make out the vehicles involved. A Lexus SUV T-boned what appeared to be a corvette. The SUV pushed the corvette into a light pole, sandwiching it. How anyone could survive an impact like that, he’ll never know.

“Well sir. The female was the driver of the corvette. She has a very weak pulse, and her breath sounds are shallow. Her blood pressure is 80/50 and she appears to have multiple lacerations. I’m not sure about internal injuries, though judging by the looks of it she is sure to have many. She was unconscious when we got here, and we have been unable to wake her up.” Smith stated, hoping he got everything right. It was his first week on the job, and this was the worst accident he has ever had to witness.

“What about the driver of the SUV?” Johnson inquired.

“Driver is a male, approximately 40 years old. His air bag deployed, so his injuries aren’t as severe. It appears that he broke his nose when the airbag deployed. He also has a few cuts and scrapes from the glass and complains that his neck is hurting. He’s sitting back there with Brown awaiting transport to the hospital.”

“Does he have any recollection of the accident?” Johnson inquired.

“He says he remembers bits and pieces, sir, but his memory is a little fuzzy. He thinks his head hit something else besides the air bag.”

Just as Smith was finishing informing Johnson of the situation, one of the other paramedics screamed, “We lost her pulse, someone bring me the defibrillator!”
Johnson and Smith rushed over to where Williams was with the defibrillator in hand. Williams had already ripped the female’s shirt open and cleared a way to use the paddles on her. As soon as the paddles were ready, Williams shocked the unconscious victim.

“Clear!” Still no pulse.

“Charge to 60 and continue CPR.”

“Clear!” Another bolt of electricity coursed through the female’s body in an attempt to bring her back to life.

“Still no pulse, sir.” Williams exhaled.

“Well continue CPR, and charge the paddles to 70. I’m not ready to give up on her yet” Johnson stated rather bluntly.

“Why not sir? It’s clear she didn’t survive.” Smith inquired.

“Because she’s one of mine.”

“What do you mean, sir?”

“She’s a marine Smith, and I never give up on one of my own.”

“How do you know she’s a marine, sir?”

Johnson handed Smith the female’s purse. He had managed to pull it out the vehicle when he arrived on the scene. He showed Smith the military ID he had gotten out of it. Mackenzie, Sarah. LtCol. U.S. Marines. He always wanted to put a name with the face of the victim he was helping. He figured he picked that up during Vietnam. Johnson had been a corpsman in the Marines during Vietnam. He had seen more than enough death and destruction to last two lifetimes. He wasn’t about to let one of his own fall by the waist side. “I have seen men lose limbs in battle, crash on the way to the infirmary, and somehow survive the ordeal. If she’s been able to hold on for this long, she certainly has the will to survive.”

Johnson knelt down, and in his best drill sergeant voiced ordered the lifeless body. “Now you listen here marine! You will not under any circumstances die on me! You hear me! You will take that breath, and you will come back to us! Now fight damn you! FIGHT MACKENZIE!”

“Clear!”

With the last jolt of electricity, the female sprung to life. “You did it! We got a pulse, sir!”

“I didn’t do anything Smith. This marine did all the work.” Johnson leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Semper Fi, Mackenzie.”

Once they were able to stabilize Mac, they loaded her into the ambulance. It was then that the driver of the SUV walked up to Johnson.

“Is she going to make it?” He asked.

“It’s hard to tell. She’s hurt pretty bad. We lost her for a minute, but she has that fighting spirit. We’re on our way to Bethesda. I suggest you come along to get yourself checked out. You have a pretty nasty break, and they will need to set your nose. Besides they may want to observe you to make sure you don’t have a concussion, since you said you hit your head on something other than the airbag.”

Johnson started to make his way to the ambulance when the driver of the SUV ask him, “Can I see the driver. I just need to see that he or she is alive at least for now.”

“I don’t see why not. Come on, they need to get her to the hospital ASAP.”

Walking side by side, Johnson didn’t hear the driver as he whispered “I was on my way there when all this happened”. They walked over to the ambulance, and the driver peered in. What came out of his mouth next shocked everyone around him.

“Oh my God! I know her!”

“You know her!”

“Yes, we work together. Oh my God! What have I done!” The driver fell to his knees and began to cry. Johnson and Smith stood there dumbfounded.

“What do we do now, sir.”

“Well he needs medical attention that’s for sure. Let’s get him to the hospital, and then see if there is someone we can call for him.”

Johnson and Smith helped the man onto a stretcher and secured him for transport. Once he was onboard, Johnson closed the doors and, the ambulance made its journey to the hospital.

“I’ve never seen a scene like that sir. Most accident victims have no clue who the other driver is. I mean, did you see the look in his eyes?”

“Yes I did, Smith. It looks like he just lost his best friend.”

The ride to Bethesda seemed like it took an eternity to the driver of the SUV. He was lost in his own personal hell. What was he going to do now? How is he going to break the news to his colleagues at JAG? How was he going to face Mac if she even survives the night? A quiet sob escaped from his trembling lips: “Oh God, what am I going to do?” Lost in the enormity of the situation placed before him, the driver tried to gain some semblance of control. But control would be out of his reach tonight. He couldn’t stop the volley of questions bombarding him. Little did he know, the paramedics in the other ambulance were having problems of their own.

“Damn it! She flatlined again! Charge the paddles, Brown!” Brown reached over and grabbed the defibrillator. He hoped they wouldn’t have to use it own her again, but she evidently had other plans. Charging the paddles again, Brown prepped the body again for another shock.

“Clear!” Brown hit her with a charge of 60. Nothing.

“Damn it! I’m not going to lose her! Continue CPR while I charge the paddles to 70 and give her 10cc of epinephrine.”

“Clear!” Another volt coursed through her body. Nothing.

“Damn it Marine! Get your ass back here! It’s not your time!” Brown charged the paddles again and with a silent prayer, shocked the lifeless marine.

“Got her! We have a sinus rhythm! Thank you God! That’s the way to fight marine. Never give up. Never surrender.”

Both ambulances pulled up to the ER at the same time. Since Mac was in critical condition, she was taken first. The paramedics didn’t want to run the risk of her flatlining again. At least here, they can hopefully locate and diagnose all of her injuries.

Mac was rushed through the doors and wheeled into exam room 1. Comm. Morris walked in and addressed the paramedics. “Who do we have here guys?”

“White female, 36 years old involved in a MVA. She was driving a corvette that was T-boned on the driver’s side. The corvette was then sandwiched between the SUV and a light pole. She was unconscious when we got there, and the firefighters had to use the Jaws of Life to get her out. She flatlined at the scene and en route here. We were able to get her back both times. She’s received 10cc of epinephrine, and we started an IV. Blood pressure is 90/60 and her breath sounds and thin and raspy.”

“Was the driver restrained?”

“Firefighters said she was wearing a seat belt, but he force of the impact caused it to break.”

“Ok. Thanks guys. I’ll take it from here. By the way, what’s her name?”

“Her name is Sara Mackenzie. She’s a LtCol. in the Marines.”

Turning to the nurse: “I need a CBC, Chem 7, and Blood Gas.”

“Right away, doctor.”

Morris stepped up to Mac and began examining her. He began be listening to her lungs. He heard breath sounds on the right side, even though they were raspy. Her left side, however, concerned him. He could barely hear anything on her left side. He decided to do a chest tube to see if her lungs were punctured. Once the chest tube was in place, fluid immediately came out. “Just want I suspected. Nurse we need to secure this chest tube. Her lungs have collapsed.”

“Yes, doctor.”

Morris then proceeded to her abdomen. It felt distended. He was starting not to like his patient’s prognosis. “We are going to have to take her to surgery STAT. Her stomach is distended, and I still don’t like her blood pressure. I’ll finish my examination after the surgery.”

Morris was pretty sure a majority of her serious injuries would be internal. He noted that her left arm appeared to be broken. He also noticed she had a massive bruise that started from the top of her hip and extended down her thigh. He noted this so X-rays could be taken. His major concern rested with Mac’s head. She was unconscious when they found her and has yet to regain consciousness. He knew she had flatlined twice, and he was unsure how long her brain was without oxygen. He also saw a major gash on the left side of her head. He planned to do a CAT scan once the surgery was over, and she was stable. He needed to make sure her brain wasn’t swelling, because it could compound her other injuries.

Addressing the nurses: “Ok everyone, here’s what we’re going to do. We need to get anesthesia to OR 1, because Mackenzie is going to surgery now. Once the surgery is complete, and she is stable, I need a CAT scan of her brain to check for swelling and bleeding. Also, X-rays are needed of her left arm, hip and leg. Once those tests are complete, we will set any breaks and clean and stitch all her wounds. It that clear?”

“Yes sir!”

“Well let’s get to it.”

Mac was taken form the ER straight to surgery. Anesthesia was already there, and Mac was moved onto the surgical table. Once she was asleep, the surgical areas cleaned and prepped, the journey to save Mac’s life began once again.

“Scalpel.”

Back in the ER, Lt. Lescale was completing her exam of the driver of the SUV. After all the X-rays and bloodwork down on him, he was found to have a concussion, broken nose, sprained wrist, and a few of the cuts on his face and hands needed stitches. The Dr. wanted to keep him overnight for observation. He agreed since he was trying to avoid the inevitable. He knew he has to call someone, but was dreading it. The nurses and orderlies helped him to a room and left him to his own misery.

‘I really don’t want to do this. What will people think of me now? It’s all my fault. If only I wasn’t in such a hurry to get here. Just look where it got me. One floor up from where I should be right now. Oh God! Please help me. Please give me the strength to make this phone call.’ Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize Johnson and Smith walked in.

“How are you doing, son?’

“How do you think I’m doing? I not only risked my life to get here, but I may have just taken the life of someone I have worked with for many years!”

“Is there someone we can call for you? You should have someone with you at a time like this.”

“No thank you, sir. I know who I need to call. He also had known Mac and I or quite some time. He will call the others to have them come too.”

“I guess Mac is some sort of nickname for Mackenzie.” Smith stated.

“Yeah it is. Now I don’t mean to sound rude, and please forgive my previous outburst, but I have a phone call to make.”

“I understand, son. We will leave you to your phone call and go check up on Mac. We will come back and let you know what we find out.”

“Thank you. I would appreciate that.”

Johnson and Smith quietly exited the room and left the man to his own devises. Somehow, he found the courage. Picking up the phone, he dialed a familiar number. A man picked up of the second ring.

“Hello?”

His voice cracked as he answered the man. “Sorry to disturb you, sir. I need you to come to Bethesda ASAP.”

“Sturgis?!”

Steeling himself for what he knew was coming next, “yes sir. It’s me.”
“What’s the matter, son? Why are you at Bethesda?”

“For a few reasons, sir. Can you please come. I promise to fill you in once you arrive.”

“Ok. I’m on my way.”

“Oh, and admiral.”

“I’m not an admiral anymore, son. Just call me AJ.”

“Yes sir. Could you contact Bud and Harriet for me also? I think they should be here too.”

“What about Harm?”

Now that was the 64 million dollar question. “I don’t think it’s wise to call him yet, AJ. I want a chance to fill everyone in before we call him.”

AJ was starting to put two and two together. Surely Sturgis would want his best friend at the hospital if he was hurt. Unless…… “Is Mac hurt?”

“She is, sir, but I would rather fill you in once you arrive.”

“Ok. I’m walking out the door. I will call Bud and Harriet en route to the hospital.”

“Thank you AJ.”

With a silent click, the phone disconnected. Sturgis laid back on his bed and breathed a small sigh of relief. He knew the biggest battle was yet to come. The one he dreaded the most. Harm. How was he going to take it? What was he going to do to him when he found out? That’s why Sturgis wanted AJ, Bud and Harriet there. If anything, they maybe able to keep Harm from killing him. He knew AJ would be able to control an angry Harmon Rabb. He wanted Bud and Harriet there because he knew how close they are to Mac, and she needs people here for her. He knows he maybe over dramatizing it a bit, but he hit the woman he loves, and she may not survive the night.

It didn’t take Sturgis long to figure out there was more than meets the eye with Harm and Mac when he first arrived at JAG. He could sense the tension when they were in the same room. Mac later confirmed his suspicions when they were working together. He often wondered if he should have kept that secret. Then again, he didn’t want to deal with a pissed off marine. He figured she would figure out how to handle the situation and tell Harm how she felt.

Then there was always Harm. He would never admit to Sturgis that he was in love with Mac. But then again, he didn’t have to. A certain teenager let it slip after an afternoon of basketball a couple of weeks ago. He’ll never forget the look on Harm’s face when Mattie let it slip out.

Flashback

Sturgis: “Great game Harm. You finally beat me.”
Harm: “Yeah, I knew I was do for a win.”
Sturgis: “So what are your plans this evening?”
Mattie: “Oh he’s going over to Mac’s to supposedly work on a case.”
Harm: “What do you mean supposedly? That’s exactly what I’m doing Mattie.”
Mattie: “Yeah, sure. You just want to be alone with her.”

Sturgis was having way too much fun watching his best friend argue with a teenager.

Harm: “Mattie. The admiral wants our preliminary report on his desk by 0800 Monday. We need to compare notes.”
Mattie: “Yeah right, Harm. I’m sure that’s all you want to do with her.”
Harm: “Mathilda.”
Mattie: “Don’t Mathilda me, Harmon. I know your secret remember.”
Harm: “Mattie this is neither the time nor the place for this conversation.”
Mattie: “Why not?! Why don’t you just tell her you love her? You told me you do!”

Sturgis could hardly believe what he was hearing. He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t get a chance.

Harm: “You didn’t hear that Sturgis. You got me?!”

Sturgis knew better than to argue with Harm when he has that look in his eye, but he had to try.

Sturgis: “I hate to tell you buddy, but I did.”
Harm: “Look Sturgis. Mac and I are just starting to get our rhythm back. Besides, she’s with Webb now.”
Sturgis: “Do you honestly think she would stay with him if she knew how you felt?”
Harm: “Sturgis, all I care about is Mac’s happiness. If she’s happy with Webb, then I’m happy for her.
Sturgis: ‘It’s like beating a dead horse. “Alright, alright. I give up buddy, but just so you know, I think you should tell her. There may come a day when you’ll never get a chance to tell her how you feel.”

End Flashback

How true was that last statement he told Harm that day. Of coarse, he didn’t know he maybe the reason Harm won’t have that chance.

Meanwhile, AJ was doing everything in his power to get to Bethesda quickly. Picking up his cell phone, AJ dialed the Roberts.

“Roberts residence. AJ Roberts speaking.”

“Well hello AJ Roberts. This is Uncle AJ. Is your mommy or daddy home?”

“Hi Uncle AJ. Mommy’s here. You wanna talk to her?”

“Yes I do.”

“Ok. MMOOMMMY, Uncle AJ’s on the phone.”

“Thank you AJ. I think it’s time for your bath, so go see daddy, sweetheart.”

“Aw nuts.”

“Hello?”

“Harriet”

“Yes sir.”

“Listen Harriet. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I need you and Bud to meet me at “Bethesda.”

“What’s the matter sir? Is someone hurt?”

“I would venture a guess that at least Mac is hurt. I’m not sure about anyone else. Sturgis is already there. He’s the one that called me.”

“Oh my God. The Colonel’s hurt! What about Harm, sir? Should we contact him?”

“Sturgis asked that we didn’t. He wanted to explain the situation before we call him. I’m thinking it’s not good.”

“Ok, sir. I can drop the boys off at the babysitter, and Bud and I will meet you at the hospital.”

“See you there Harriet.”

“Bye, sir.”

Harriet hung up with AJ and immediately ran up the stairs to Bud. He just finished bathing AJ and was about to put them to bed. He turned around and saw his wife’s face. Tears were running down her cheeks, and she was trembling.
“Harriet, baby what’s wrong.”

“The admiral just called. He needs us to get Bethesda. The Colonel’s been hurt.” With that, she fell into her husband’s arms and began to cry.

“It’s ok, honey. Everything will be alright. Did he say how bad she was hurt?”

“He didn’t know for sure. All he knows is that she’s hurt, and Sturgis is already there.”

“What’s Sturgis doing at the hospital with the Colonel?”

“I don’t know, but we need to get the boys to the babysitters and get there as soon as possible.”

Harriet and Bud quickly dressed the boys and dropped them off at the babysitters. All the way to the hospital, Harriet kept a firm grip on her husband’s hand. He was her lifeline. She knew he would be strong for her when they find out the extent of Mac’s injuries. She also knew they needed to be there for Harm. If they didn’t want him to know just yet, she knew Mac had to be seriously hurt. She could see the love they shared for each other, but they were too afraid to admit it. “Please let it not be too late for them.” She remembered when Bud lost his leg. Both Harm and Mac refused to leave Bud’s side, going as far as disobeying the Admiral’s order. Mac and Harm were there for them every step of the way. Now it was their turn. They would not let their friends down.

Bud and Harriet parked the van and ran into the hospital. Once inside, they spotted AJ. He was involved in a very heated discussion with a Lt.

“I don’t give a damn about your rules, Lt.! I was called by Sturgis Turner and was asked to come to the hospital ASAP! Now I want to know what the hell is going on with LtCol. Mackenzie now.”

“I’m sorry admiral, but if you are not listed on her emergency contact card. A Comm. Harmon Rabb, Jr. is. I was just about to call him.”

“Don’t you dare pick up that phone, Lt.! That’s an order! ‘Hell, she doesn’t need to know I’m no longer in the Navy.’ “I will contact the Comm. personally.”

“Yes sir.”

Bud and Harriet watched the scene unfolded. They knew the Admiral hated to be left in the dark. Harriet decided to take another approach.

“Sir, if I may?”

“Be my guest Harriet.”

“Ma’am, do you have a patient by the name of Sturgis Turner?”

“And you are?”

“I’m Lt. Harriet Simms. Comm. Turner is a friend and colleague of ours. As the admiral stated, he contacted him to come here. Can’t you help us out?”

The Lt. thought about it for a moment. She decided to give them a helping hand. “Let me check ma’am. Give me a moment.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Here it is. Comm. Turner is in room 3245B. You can take the elevators to your left.”

“Thank you Lt.”

Harriet walked back to where AJ and Bud were standing and informed them of the news. “I’m afraid it’s a little worse than we thought. Sturgis is a patient here also.”

“What?! What ever gave you that idea, Lt.?”

“Well, sir, I couldn’t really think of a reason why Sturgis and the Colonel would both be at Bethesda at the same time unless they were both patients here.”

“Well lets move people. It’s time to find out what the hell is going on here.”

All three made there way to the elevators in silence. Once the elevator stopped, they stepped off the made their journey Sturgis’ room. AJ was the first to knock, and after hearing Sturgis tell them to come in, they walked in. They took the site before them. Sturgis had a cast on his nose, his wrist was wrapped, and it looked like he had several stitches.

AJ walked up to Sturgis. “Care to tell me what the hell is going on here Sturgis?”

It took Sturgis a moment to take in the expressions of the people who entered the room. Etched in each face was concern. Concern for who he wondered. Would they still worry about him once they found out what happened? Taking a deep breath, he started his tale.

“There was a car accident tonight. I was on my way to Bethesda and wasn’t aware of my surroundings. I could have sworn the light was green. It must have just turned red right as I entered to intersection. I'm not sure. Everything is a little fuzzy right now. Next thing I know, I slammed into a car. I smashed the car between my car and a light pole.

Sturgis took a moment to gauge the audience. Each of them looked so confused, and confused they were. Each was trying to figure out just how did all the pieces fit together. What did Sturgis’ accident have to do with Mac? That’s when it hit them. Sturgis could see the understanding dawning on them. With that understanding came fear and worry. Sturgis expected them to be worried about Mac, but what he didn’t expect so soon was anger.

“You mean to tell me that because of your carelessness, you hit Mac’s car?!” AJ made it more of a statement then a question.

Sturgis couldn’t meet him in the eye. “You are correct sir, but I wasn’t careless.”

“Then what the hell were you?”

“As I said earlier, I was on my way here. I’m sorry, sir. I guess I was careless to an extent. I should have been more aware of what was going on.”

Harriet chose that moment to speak up. “Why were you on your way here, sir?”

“I received a call form Bethesda while I was on my way to Harm’s to return his SUV. They said my father had a massive heart attack, and they didn’t know if he would survive the night. I’m so sorry. My emotions got the best of me. I wanted to get here so bad, that I did whatever it took to get here as quickly as possible.”

Sturgis could see the anger dissipate before his eyes as he watched Bud and Harriet. AJ, however, was harder to read. Sturgis could never read AJ’s expression. Sturgis waited in silence as his colleagues absorbed the information. AJ was the one who broke the silence.

“So let me get this straight. You get a phone call about your dad while on the way to Harm’s, you rush to Bethesda, and end up colliding with Mac. Did I miss anything?”

“No, sir. That sounds like all of it.”

Harriet couldn’t wait any longer. She had to know.

“Well what about the Colonel?! Is she alive?! Where is she?!” Harriet burst into sobs and turned into her husband’s shoulder.

“Sshh, sweetheart. It’s gong to be ok. Everything has a way of working out.” Bud attempted to sooth his wife, but it was no use. She was so worried about her friend that she couldn’t get control of her emotions.

AJ turned to his junior officers. “Bud, why don’t you take Harriet to the restroom to freshen up. Then you both can go check up on Mac. You had better luck than me last time.”

“Yes sir. Come on, honey. Lets go get you cleaned up and see what we can find out about the Colonel.” Bud wrapped his arm around his wife and escorted her to the nearest restroom. Once they were gone, AJ turned back to Sturgis. His expression had softened a little, but Sturgis still couldn’t read his face. AJ pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

“How are you holding up, son?”

“Honestly, I feel like shit, sir. I haven’t even had a chance to find out about my father. He could be dead for all I know. I tried to get a nurse to find out, but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.”

AJ was about to say something but was cut off.

“Then to make matters worse, I end up slamming into someone I know. Someone who just so happened to be the object of my best friend’s affections. God, AJ, what am I going to do? I’m so torn up inside. It’s like trying to juggle three things with one hand while blindfolded. Part of me is worried about my father, another is worried about Mac, and the last part of me is worried about Harm. I know how he feels about Mac, sir. He’s just too stubborn to do anything about it.”

This time, AJ was able to cut him off. He was never very good at being emotional or fatherly to anyone. His staff at JAG was as close as he ever got to a family. He knew he would be leaving them soon to go with Francesca, but a small part of him would remain there forever.

“Now you listen here, Sturgis. Now is not the time for a pity party. You need to concentrate on getting better, and I’ll take care of the rest. There’s nothing you can do to change what’s happened. We are here now to take care of all of you, so try not to worry.”

Sturgis couldn’t help but worry.

“But what about Harm, sir?”

“Like I said. I’ll handle the Comm. Now you get some rest, and I’ll go find out about your father.”

Patting Sturgis on the shoulder, AJ left the room. Once outside, he leaned against the wall and sighed.

“What a big, fucking mess.”

He made his way over to the nurse’s station. “Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help me. Comm. Turner was trying to find out about his father. He was brought in suffering a heart attack?”

“Oh, I remember him, let me see what I can find out, sir.”

While AJ was getting the information on Sturgis’ father, Bud and Harriet were trying their luck with getting information on Mac. Harriet walked up to the Lt. who helped her earlier.

“Hello, Lt. I was wondering if you could do me one more flavor.”

“What can I do for you ma’am?”

“We were able to locate Comm. Turner and was told what happened to LtCol. Mackenzie. We know we aren’t family, but we are as close to family as she has. You see Comm. Turner was the one who hit her ma’am, and we all are very concerned about her. Is there anything you can tell us?”

The nurse hesitated for a moment and responded. “I’m usually not suppose to do this, but let me see what I can find out. Oh here she is. She’s in surgery right now, ma’am. That’s all the computer has on her for now. I’m sorry. I really wish there was more I could tell you.”

“Thank you, Lt. You’ve told us enough. At least we know she’s alive.” Bud and Harriet left the nurse and started to make their way back to the room.

“Oh Bud. What are they going to do? What if she doesn’t survive. I know they love each other. This can’t be the end of them. They never even had a chance to begin.”

Tears were flowing again from Harriet’s eyes. Bud pulled her into a hug and tried to reassure her.

“Don’t worry Harriet. The Colonel will pull through. You’ll see. Then you can start up your matchmaking again.”

That, at least, brought a smile to her face.

“Oh Bud. What am I going to do with you?”

Hand in hand, Bud and Harriet made their way back to the elevator.

Little did everyone know, Harm was about to be brought into the picture a little sooner than expected.

Harm’s was pacing his apartment, frustration oozing out of every pore.

“Damn it! Why isn’t she answering her cell phone?” ‘Probably because she’s pissed at you. It’s not like you two parted on good terms.’

“Well Sturgis just called and said he was 5 minutes away, so I’ll just wait for him. Then I’m going after Mac. This isn’t over yet Marine. Oh God look at me, I’ve been driven to having a conversation with myself. I really must be loosing it.”

Thirty minutes and 20 phone calls later. Harm slammed his phone down. “Damn it! Where the hell is he! Well, I’ll just leave a note for him. I need to get to Mac. Something doesn’t feel right.”

Taping a letter to his door, Harm walked out of his apartment and to Sturgis’s car. He had to laugh when he saw it the first time. It didn’t look like Sturgis would fit in it, and he knew he certainly didn’t. Sighing, he got in and turned the ignition. Pulling out, he couldn’t shake this feeling inside. ‘I just need to see her. I have a funny feeling something is wrong. I also need to apologize to her. I was a real asshole tonight.’ Harm was about 5 blocks from his apartment when he saw it.

“That looks like my car! Wait an minute! That is my car.” He pulled the car over, slammed it into park, and rushed over to the policeman and tow truck driver.

“Excuse me, officer. Can you tell me what happened here?”

“There was an accident today. This SUV hit another car and rammed it into a light pole.”

“Oh my God! Are the driver’s ok?”

“All I know is that they were taken to the hospital. Why are you so concerned?”

“Because that is my car.”

“How do you know it’s yours?”

“Look, sir. My name is Comm. Harmon Rabb. I lent my car to a friend, and I’m telling you that’s my car. That’s my license plate and military decal on it.”

“Ok Comm. Rabb. I trust you have some ID on you.”

Harm reached into his wallet, pulled out his ID, and handed it to the officer.

“Thank you Comm. I was about to call you actually. I had pulled out your papers from the glove compartment. I just needed to make sure it was you. By the way, who was driving you car. It wasn’t stolen was it?”

“I understand, sir. You can never be too careful nowadays. No, it wasn’t stolen. I lent it to a friend for the weekend. He was actually on his way here when I guess the accident happened. So is there anything else you can tell me about the people involve?”

“I apologize for not having a lot of knowledge of the scene. I just got on duty, and I’m getting second hand information. Well let’s see. You already know the man driving the SUV. They said he wasn’t hurt too bad. Looks like a broken nose, mild concussion possibly and some cuts and scrapes. Now the lady involved is another matter. They say she was hurt real bad. Actually flatlined on them. She has way too many possible injuries for me to mention. That’s about all I have right now. Since you are here, what do you want to do with you car.”

“Can I have I towed to this garage. I have a space there.”

“Sure no problem.” The officer started to walk off, but Harm called him back.

“Excuse me, sir. Was the driver of the SUV taken to Bethesda?”

“Yes he was.”

“Thank you very much for all your help.”

Harm jumped back into Sturgis’ car and made his way to Bethesda. He said a silent prayer that Sturgis was ok. He was just starting to mellow out, and Harm didn’t want to see that disappear. Harm jumped out of the car and ran into the emergency room. He found the nurse’s station and got the attention of the same nurse that had just helped Bud and Harriet.

“Excuse me Lt. I’m looking for Comm. Sturgis Turner. I was told he was brought here.”

“And you are, sir?”

“Comm. Harmon Rabb?”

“Oh Comm. Rabb. I see your friends were able to get in touch with you.”

“What do you mean, Lt.?”

“Well they asked me not to call you about LtCol. Mackenzie, sir. They would do that.”

“WHAT!!! WHAT ABOUT MAC?!”

Harm screamed so loud that the whole hospital could have heard him. Bud and Harriet turned just in time to see the red flush Harm’s face.

Bud and Harriet called to him at the same time.

“Comm.!”

Harm recognized their voices immediately and made his way over to them. With arms folded over his chest, he addressed them.

“You mind telling me what the hell is going on here?! What’s happen to Mac, and where is Sturgis?!”

Both Bud and Harriet exchanged a quick glance. The last thing they ever wanted to do was have to tell an obviously bewildered Harmon Rabb that Mac was injured. Each tried to think of what to tell him, but words were lost on them. All they could do was stare.

‘Why are they staring at me? They seem so nervous. Why would they be nervous to talk to me. Unless…..something must be seriously be wrong with Mac! What if she’s dead? No, she can’t be dead! I never got the chance to apologize for hurting her again. I never got a chance to tell her I love her.’ Harm was beginning to not like where his thoughts were heading.

“Would someone please answer me please? You two are starting to worry me.”

Harm’s voice must have snapped them out of their thoughts, because they both responded at the same time.

“Uh…sir…We…uh…”

“Well spit it out you two!”

Bud was able to get his bearings first.

“Maybe it would be best if you heard it from Comm. Turner, sir.”

“Why would I want to talk to Sturgis? What does he have to do with…..” Harm’s voice died out as realization dawned on him. ‘Sturgis was on his way to drop off my car about the same time Mac stormed out my apartment. The officer stated that a female was involved, but the car wasn’t at the scene. They must have already towed it before I got there. It all fits now.’

Bud and Harriet could tell the precise moment Harm figured it out. The emotions flew through his eyes so fast neither could keep up with them. Neither could think of what to do now. They knew he has a right to know what happened to her, but it wasn’t their place to tell him. As luck would have it, they didn’t have to make the decision. The elevator opened up, and AJ stepped off right into Bud.

“I was just coming down to look for you two. What is taking so long? I wanted to find out how…..” AJ’s voice died as he saw the reason they were held up.

“Harm. You’re here.”

Harm was still trying to comprehend what was going on, but was able to find his voice.

“Yes sir. I was on my way to Mac’s when I saw my car. The officer told me what he knew about the accident and that Sturgis was brought here. Please, sir. You have to tell me. What happened to Mac? Is she alive? I know Sturgis hit her, but I don’t know if she’s alive. The police did mention she flatlined. Please AJ. I have to know!” Harm’s eyes glazed over with unshed tears. He wasn’t the begging type, but he would do anything to find out how she was.

AJ threw a quick glance at Bud and Harriet. His look said it all. He thought they told Harm about Mac. He made a mental note to deal with them later. Harm must have seen the look, because he came to their defense immediately.

“Don’t be mad at them, sir. They didn’t tell me. I figured it out. Hell, all they told me was to talk to Sturgis.”

“You really should talk to him, Harm. He was the one there.”

That’s when Harm snapped.

“I know damn good and well he was there! I also know that he didn’t even pick up the fucking phone to let me know what happened! I wonder why that is? Let me guess. He didn’t want to tell me! He wanted you to do it! That coward! Wait till I get my hands on him!”

AJ stepped directly in front of Harm and glared at him.

“And just what do you think you’re going to do, Harm? You don’t even know the whole story yet, and you’re ready to pass judgment! Did you ever stop to think there was a reason for the accident? Huh? Did you? Of course not. As always, you let your emotions get in the way of your logic.”

It took Harm a moment to digest what he was told. He knew AJ was right. He knew he was being too emotional about this. But this was Mac damn it! This was his Sarah. How could he not be emotional about her? She is his everything. He can’t imaging his life without her in it. He was just so scared to find out what was wrong with her!

“You’re right, sir. I’m sorry for overreacting. It’s just this is all so sudden. One minute we were arguing, and she’s walking out my door. The next minute, I’m here and don’t even know if she’s ok”

“It’s ok, son. I understand. I honestly can’t tell you what’s going on with Mac. The nurse wouldn’t give me any information. I wasn’t listed on Mac’s emergency contact card. You were. I was on my way down here to talk to Bud and Harriet. I sent them down here to find out any news.”

“Oh, I see. Mac and I listed each other on our emergency contact cards when we were sent to Afghanistan. I had changed mine when I was reinstated. Mac and I weren’t on the best of terms then. Besides, I figured she had Webb on hers. Lot of good it would do. I just changed mine last week after the Dining Out. She never told me if she had to change hers or not. I guess I have my answer now.”

Harm didn’t know why he had told everyone that. Maybe he was trying to give his brain a chance to catch up, or maybe he just wanted to explain to them covertly how he was trying to change his relationship with Mac.

Bud decided to speak up at this time. He could tell the tension had dissipated some and figured he could help ease Harm’s mind a little.

“Well, sir. We know she is alive, but she’s in surgery right now. The nurse didn’t have any more information than that.”

“Thanks Bud for the information. I’m going to let the nurse know where I will be should Mac come out of surgery before I get back.”

“Where are you going, sir?”

“To see Sturgis.”

All three exchanged a hesitant glance as Harm walked off. Each didn’t know if Harm should see Sturgis in his current emotional state.

Harm walked up to the nurse that helped him earlier.

“Excuse me, Lt. I wanted to apologize for my previous outburst. It was uncalled for.”

“It’s ok, sir. It’s quite understandable. I assumed you knew about the Colonel. What can I do for you?”

“I will be in Comm. Turner’s room should LtCol. Mackenzie get out of surgery before I get back.”

“No problem, sir. I’ll make note of it. I hope she’s ok, Comm.”

“You and me both Lt. Thank you..”

Harm turned around and made his way back to the others. He noticed the expressions on their faces.

“What?”

“Harm. Do you think it’s wise for you to go see Sturgis in the state you’re in?”
“AJ. I’m not going to hurt him. You were right earlier. I need to find out what happened.”

“Ok, son. Let’s go.”

All four turned around and got in the elevator. Each saying a silent prayer for everything to be alright.

The ride in the elevator seemed like it took an eternity. Each passenger was in his/her own world.

AJ was concerned about Mac, but at the moment was concerned about Harm and Sturgis. AJ could understand Sturgis’ need to get to the hospital. Hell, he would have done the same thing. He knew Sturgis expect to get into an accident. Much less hit someone he knew. To make matters worse for him, it was Mac he hit. Sturgis was right about the relationship these two share. He had seen the spark the first day they met. He told them not to get too close, and they listened. He wondered if he really should have told them that. There was no denying the love these two shared. If only one of them would admit it to the other.

AJ glanced in Harm’s direction and didn’t like what he saw. Every emotion imaginable flashed across his face. What worried AJ the most though were his eyes. They looked so empty. Like a piece of him was missing. The spark was no longer there. He knew Harm had always been driven by his emotions. Just look at Paraguay. He actually resigned his commission to go after Mac. He knew Harm was trying to keep a tight lid on his emotions, but those lids seem to always break when Mac is concerned. He wondered if he was doing the right thing by letting Harm see Sturgis. In the end, he decided it was for the best, and Harm needed to know.

Meanwhile, Bud and Harriet were concerned for their friends, especially Harm and Mac. There has always been a special connection between the four of them. They each thought back to when they asked Harm and Mac to be the godparents to little AJ. It was such a happy event. The look Harm and Mac shared at the christening was priceless. You would have thought it was their baby. They each had their own separate memories also.

Bud thought back to when he first came to JAG. Harm and Mac took him under their wing and helped guide him to become the lawyer he is today. Every memory he had, one of them was involved. They were such an integral part of his life that he didn’t know what he would do without them.

Harriet remembered the first time she met Harm and Mac, too. She was stationed on a carrier, and even then, she could see the bond these two shared. She jumped forward to just a few months ago when little AJ was missing. Both were so worried that they even sent Bud home to be with her. Inside her mind, she couldn’t picture two people who were meant for each other. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late.

Then there was Harm. Harm felt like his insides were being torn apart. On one hand, there was Sturgis. One the other was Mac. He had know Sturgis for 22 years. Sturgis had bailed him and Keeter out of so many things while at the academy. This was the same person who helped him restore his vette. The same one who played basketball with him. How was he suppose to get past this? He knows they always say forgive and forget, but could he? He hit Mac! Mac! Not just some stranger on the street. This was the woman he loved! Worry couldn’t begin to describe the emotions coursing though him. He can’t even imagine his life without her. The last words they spoke to each other were so full of anger. God he wished he could take it all back.

Flashback

It was the weekend after the Dining Out. Mac was still sore, but feeling much better. She and Harm made plans to get together to discuss what the doctor had said, and explore options. Sturgis had come over that morning to pick up Harm’s car. Sturgis had lost a case to Harm, and as punishment, had to have Harm’s car completely detailed. Harm had everything planned out to perfection. He knew Mac is probably more sore than she care to admit, so he planned a simple evening. He ran over to Blockbuster and rented a bunch of Mac’s favorite movies. He was also fixing one of her favorite dinners, veal parmesan and garlic butter pasta. For dessert, he had crème brulee. It was something he hadn’t made before, and there was not time like the present to try. He also had bought some shrimp at the store for him. He had just finished peeling the shrimp and setting the veal to marinate in buttermilk when Mac knocked.

Walking to the door, he took in the site before him. Mac was dressed in a silver button-down blouse and black jeans. She had let her hair down and added some waves to it. Harm could hardly breathe much less speak. Mac broke him out of his reverie.

“You know you should take a picture, Harm. It would last longer.”

Blushing, Harm answered her. “I’m sorry, Mac. You look beautiful. Please come in.”

“Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself, sailor.”

He certainly didn’t. Mac could barely contain the gasp that escaped her throat when she saw him. He was dressed in a ribbed navy blue shirt and blue jeans. Both garments fit him like a glove. Mac marveled at how it accentuated his muscular chest, and those jeans! They just completed the package, hugging his six nice and tight.

Harm closed and locked the door, and turned to Mac.

“I hope you brought your appetite.”

Mac cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I know. I know. Stupid question. Why don’t you take a seat on the couch? Mattie let me borrow her TV and DVD player, so I rented some movies. Are you thirsty? I have water and soda if you want.”

He knew he was rambling. He had never been this nervous before. Tonight was the night he was going to tell Mac how he felt. He was praying she wouldn’t shoot him down though.

‘He looks so cute when he’s nervous. I guess I’ll be nice to him. “Water will be fine, thanks.”

Harm brought her a bottle of water and sat next to her.

“So…I know…we…uh…wanted to talk tonight. Did you want to do that now or wait till after dinner?”

“Why don’t we wait till after dinner? I think better on a full stomach.”

“That’s my marine.”

“Your marine, huh?”

“Uh…yeah. You mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Good. I’ll go get dinner started. It should be ready in an hour.”

“What are we having?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, I like surprises."

“I know.”

Harm got up and started dinner. Mac had tried several times to sneak into the kitchen to either help or find out what’s for dinner. Harm finally set up a place for her to make the salad. Once everything was finished, they sat down to eat.

“Oh Harm. This is delicious, and it’s one of my favorites. Thank you so much.”

“My pleasure, Mac. I couldn’t very well have a hungry marine over could I?”

“No. I don’t think that would be in your best interest.”

That’s the way it went through the whole dinner. They were so at ease with each other. So comfortable to be spending time together. After dessert, which Mac loved, they sat on the couch facing each other.

“I did rent some of your favorite movies if you prefer to do that instead of…”

His voice trailed off. Not wanting to finish the sentence.

“We can watch movies later, Harm. Right now we need to talk.”

“Ok.”

“Did you have a chance to think about what I asked?”

How could he not think about it?! It was all he ever thought about. Mac actually decided to take him up on going halves on a child. She told him that the doctor said she had endometriosis, and it could hurt her chances of getting pregnant. The doctor advised her that she should start now if she wanted a baby. She asked Harm how he wanted to go about conceiving. The doctor said there were a few options, but conceiving the natural way was the best. There was also artificial insemination and invitro fertilization. In his heart, he wanted to conceive a child naturally. Not by artificial means. He wanted a child conceived in love. Their love. ‘But what if she doesn’t feel the same way?’ That was his biggest worry.

“Yeah, I did.”

“And?”

“Well I’m not sure, Mac. I know what I want , but I’m not sure if we could do it.”

“Well what is it?”

“I want a child naturally, Mac. Not a child conceived by artificial means.”

Mac had to swallow the lump that now formed in her throat. This is what she had dreamed he would say.

“Ok. So what’s the problem?”

“Well…I…uh…” ‘Damn it why can’t I just spit it out! It’s so easy! Come on Rabb, all you have to do is tell her. It’s because you love her, and want to spend the rest of you life with her. You don’t want just a child. You want the whole package.’

“Harm?”

“I’m sorry. Just zoned out a bit. I don’t know how to say this.”
“Why don’t you try the straight forward approach.”

“I…Well you see, Mac…”

Harm’s voice stopped at that precise moment. This was it. This is when he was going to tell her how he felt. The problem was that he was scared to death. He didn’t want to lose what they were just starting to get back.

While Harm was trying to put his thoughts together, Mac was getting slightly frustrated. ‘What the hell is taking him so long. After all, he was the one who put the offer back on the table. I’m not asking him to make a commitment. Although that is what I want. I want him to be a part of the baby’s life in everyway.

“Harm, just spit it out.”

Harm’s own frustrations were starting to surface.

“I’m trying. Can’t you give me a moment?”

“What’s so hard to say that you need to take 7 minutes and 45 seconds to figure out how to say it?”

Harm felt like pulling his hair out. This is not how he planned for this conversation to go, but damn she can be so infuriating.

“Mac, I’m trying to figure out how to tell you what I want!”

His voice was now starting to rise. Leave it to Mac to not take that kind of crap from him.

“I just don’t see what’s so difficult. You said the deal still stands. You said you wanted to have a baby naturally. What else is there?”

“How about how are we going to raise the baby? Where is the baby going to live? How will we take care of the baby? That’s what else!”

“Harm those are things we can discuss after we agree on how to have this baby. Of course the baby will live with me since I plan to breast feed…and…”

Mac didn’t even get a chance to finish her sentence because Harm jumped in.

“Why should the baby get to stay with just you, Mac. Damn it I want to be apart of the baby’s life! Not just some sperm donor!”

“Harmon Rabb you can be so infuriating sometimes. I never said you couldn’t be a part of the baby’s life!”

“Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black!”

“What is that suppose to mean.”

“You figure it out!”

“You know what. I’m not going to do this with you! I am sick and tired of trying to justify myself to you. Hell, you won’t even let me finish what I was trying to tell you earlier. If you would have given me a chance, I would have told you…No. Forget it. It’s not worth it. I’m not going to pass up my one chance to have a baby because we can’t have a civilized conversation. Goodbye Harmon Rabb.”

With tears flowing down her cheeks, Mac stormed out of his apartment.

End Flashback

The sound of the elevator stopping on Sturgis’s floor brought them back to reality. Walking up to Sturgis’s door, AJ turned around to face Harm.

“Let me go in first, Harm. He’s not expecting you so soon.”

“Sure AJ. Whatever you want.”

Something wasn’t right here. AJ looked into Harm’s eyes once again, and saw something he never saw before. Guilt. AJ couldn’t help but wonder where that came from. Harm seems so different now. His shoulders and slumped over and his head is so low it’s dragging on the ground. Something happened to him while we were on the elevator.

“Mr. Roberts, can I see you for a moment?”

“Certainly, sir.”

Stepping into another hallway, AJ addressed his junior officer.

“Bud, try to talk to Harm. Something’s definitely eating at him.”

“I noticed it too, sir. It’s as if he feels guilty about something.”

“Just see what you can find out Bud.”

“Yes, sir”

Both walked back to Harriet and Harm.

“I’m going in to talk to Sturgis.”

“Harriet, would you mind getting me and the Comm. some coffee?” Bud glanced at his wife hoping she would pick up on the unspoken message.

“Sure. I’ll be right back.”

“Sir, what’s wrong? You seem different.”

“Right now Bud, I can’t even put it into words. At first, I wanted to kill Sturgis when I found out he hit Mac. Part of me is still pissed at him, but not as much anymore.”

“What’s changed, sir?”

“Before Mac got into the accident. We had a major fight. It’s my fault. I never gave her a chance to speak, and I couldn’t weave two words together to tell her how I feel. It’s all my fault Bud. If we hadn’t been fighting, she wouldn’t have stormed out of my apartment and got hit by Sturgis. What am I going to do Bud? I can’t lose her! I love her!”

With that, the dam broke and Harm started to cry. Bud had no idea what to do. He had never seen Harm cry before. Lucky for him, Harriet chose that moment to walk up with the coffee. Taking in the scene before her, she handed Bud the coffee and took Harm into her arms.

“It’s ok, sir. Everything will be ok.”

“Oh God! What have I done?!”

Harm continued to cry as AJ spoke to Sturgis.

“I was able to get some information about your dad.”

“Is he ok?”

“It appears that he will be Sturgis. They found two blocked arteries leading into his heart. They we’re able to give him some medicine to dissolve the clots. They have him in ICU just in case.”

“Oh thank God.”

“I also came to tell you that Harm’s here.”

“What?!”

“Evidently he was going to see Mac, and he saw his SUV. The cops filled him in. Once he got here, he put two and two together and figured it all out.”

“You mean he knows I hit Mac?”

“Yes he does, but he doesn’t know the reasons for it. You should be the one to tell him.”

“Ok, sir. Is he outside the door?”

“Yeah.”

“Well lets get this over with.”

“Ok.”

AJ walked out and was shocked by what he saw. Here was Harm crying on Harriet’s shoulder.

“Jesus, Bud what did you do?”

“Nothing, sir. I asked what was wrong, and he said that he and the Colonel had a big fight tonight, and she left his apartment. He’s blaming himself for the accident because of the argument.”

“Oh for crying out loud.”

AJ walked up to Harm and Harriet.

“Harm?”

Quickly straightening up and wiping the tears from his eyes, “sir.”

“Are you going to be ok, son?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, sir. That all depends on Mac.”

“It’ll work out for the best, Harm. Now are you ready to see Sturgis?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

AJ let Harm step pass him and walk into Sturgis’ room. Harm tentatively walked up to the side of the bed.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How are you feeling.”

“Like shit. You?”

“Likewise.”

“Harm. I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell happened, Sturgis?”

“I was on my way to drop off your car when I got a call from Bethesda. Harm, my dad had a heart attack. They told me to get here as fast as I can. I was going through the intersection by your house doing speeds that would get me arrested. Next thing I know, I slammed into Mac’s car and rammed her into a light pole. God, Harm. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was her. I was just trying to get to my dad. I would never have tried to hurt her, Harm. You’ve got to believe me.”

Tears were running down Sturgis’ face as he relived the accident. Harm took a few minutes to take in what Sturgis said before responding.

“I do believe you Sturgis. I know you would never hurt Mac intentionally. I just don’t know if I can let it go just yet. You know how I feel about her, Sturgis. I don’t know if she will even survive the surgery. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

“I know, buddy. I’m not asking for you forgiveness. All I am asking for is your understanding. Maybe someday, you can forgive me.”

“Yeah, someday. Look, I’m just as much to blame for tonight as you are.”

“Pardon?”

“You see. Mac and I…”

Harm never got a chance to finish because AJ, Bud and Harriet rushed in.

“Harm. It’s Mac!”

Harm turned around and addressed the crowd.

“What is it?! What about Mac?!”

“Sir, the doctor’s here. He was the one who operated on the Colonel.”

“Sorry, Sturgis. We’ll have to finish this later. I have to go find out about Mac.”

“Sure thing, buddy.”

Harm turned and was making his way towards the door when Sturgis called him.”

“Harm?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m truly sorry. I hope she’s ok.”

“Me too, Sturgis. Me too.”

Harm walked out and was flanked be his friends. He walked up to the doctor who introduced himself.

“Comm. Rabb I presume. My name is Comm. Morris. I was the doctor who performed LtCol. Mackenzie’s surgery.”

“How is she, doctor?”

“Why don’t we step into my office. It’s more private.”

“Lead the way.”

The group made their way to Comm. Morris’ office. Everyone could feel the tension engulfing him/her. There was also a sense of foreboding that no one wanted to acknowledge. Once they reached the door, Morris addressed the group.

“If you all would wait here, I would like a moment to talk to Comm. Rabb in private.”

Bud, Harriet, and AJ started to move out of Harm’s way, but he stopped them.

“If it’s ok with you Comm., I would like for them to be present. They’re just as much a part of Mac’s family as I am.”

“Well, if you’re sure. Come on inside. Some of you will have to stand though.”

“Not a problem.”

Everyone made his/her way into the Comm.’s office. Harm and AJ took the chairs, while Bud and Harriet remained behind them.

“What can you tell us, Comm.? Is she alive?”

“Yes, she survived the surgery.”

A sigh emanated from the group. That was the best news they heard all day.

“There’s more. Isn’t there?”

“I’m afraid there is. She’s not out of the woods yet. She sustained multiple injuries in the accident. I took her straight to surgery. I didn’t want to run the risk of her bleeding to death or flatlining on me like she did before. Once I opened her up, I found that she sustained a ruptured spleen. I also confirmed that her lungs were perforated on her left side, and she has 3 broken ribs.

“My God! How did she survive?”

This was becoming too much for the group, especially Harm. He was having the most trouble getting a hold of his emotions.

“Only God knows that, but I’m afraid we’re not through.”

“Please continue.”

“We were able to x-ray places of interest and found she had a compound fracture in her left arm. She also has a hairline fracture in her femur and hip. I don’t expect that injury to cause her much trouble if she wakes up.”

“What do you mean if?”

“We performed a CAT scan of her brain. Luckily, there was no bleeding present, but her brain did show signs of swelling. To put it simply, she’s in a coma, and I can’t even guess when or if she will wake up. I’m sorry. I wish I had better news. I will leave you all alone to process what I said. If you have any questions, I will be more than willing to answer them. Once I get LtCol. Mackenzie settled, I’ll have someone take you to her.”

Harm tried to speak, but he couldn’t find his voice. To him, his whole life came to a screeching halt. The only words going through his head were: “if she wakes up.” ‘She has to wake up. She can’t leave me like this.’ Harm couldn’t contain his emotions anymore. Tears sprung to his eyes, and he collapsed his head into his hands and wept.

Harriet and Bud had held hands as the doctor informed them of Mac’s condition. Hearing that she may not wake up, they turned to each other and embraced. Each tried to draw strength from the other. In their minds, each thought that this couldn’t be the end. Mac had to wake up. She had to come back to them, especially Harm.

AJ had taken the news in stride. He had seen many of his friends die before, but this one seemed different. This wasn’t someone injured while in battle. This was someone hurt while on her way home. Where was the justice in that!? Mac had always been like a daughter to him, just as Harm was like a son. Life couldn’t be this cruel to them. She had to come back. No one wanted to have to deal with a grieving Harmon Rabb.

Lost in their own thoughts, somehow they gravitated towards Harm. They knew he would need their strength to get through this. Harm didn’t even notice he was surrounded by his friends. He was so lost in his thoughts. So many things ran through his mind. Emotions kept flooding to the surface unchecked. He tried to decipher them all, but it was too much for him. He didn’t know what to do with the feelings he had inside. On one hand he blamed himself for this whole mess. If he and Mac hadn’t been fighting, she wouldn’t have left when she did. On the other hand, if Sturgis wasn’t flying like a bat out of hell, none of this would have happened. That’s when he subconsciously made a decision. His mind and his heart couldn’t decide what to do with the feelings enveloping him, so they projected it onto someone else. Sturgis.

Everyone noticed the crying start to subside and tension set in. They had seen something like this before, and they didn’t have time to prepare for what was coming. Harm stood up. The chair flying behind him. He turned, squared his shoulders, and made his way to the door. There was only one thing standing in his way. AJ.

“Just where do you think you are going, Comm.?”

“To take care of business.”

“And what business would that be?”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Who? Sturgis?”

“Yes. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“Over my dead body.”

AJ could see the anger in Harm’s eyes, and he didn’t know what Harm was capable of. AJ would be damned if he would let Harm see Sturgis in the state that he’s in.

“Get out of my way, AJ.”

This was a fight neither was going to back down. Harm was determined to make Sturgis pay for hurting Mac, and AJ wasn’t going to let him out of this office. Bud and Harriet stood there in shock. What the hell just happened? One minute Harm is in tears, and the next, he’s ready to kill Sturgis. Bud tried to step in between the two men.

“Harm, sir, let’s take a moment to think this through.”

“Bud, I don’t want to have to hurt you. Now both of you get out of my way.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t let you hurt Comm. Turner.”

Harm made a move towards Bud. Harriet could see what was coming next, and she decided enough was enough.

“That’s it! I’ve had it! Now everyone stand down!”

Nobody made a move.

“It was not a request! Stand down NOW!”

Harriet’s voice could be heard throughout the entire wing of the hospital. Each man glared at each other. No one made a move until Harriet made hers. She grabbed the chair Harm was in and shoved him in it. She then proceeded to put each man in a chair, even using the doctor’s chair. Once they were seated, she faced them.

“Now is not the time for a pissing contest gentlemen. Col. Mackenzie is hanging on by a thread, and we all need to be there for her. Now you will all stow whatever alpha male feelings you have and focus on the situation at hand. Is that clear?!”

AJ and Harm were shocked to say the least. They have never seem Harriet react like this. Bud, however, wasn’t. He was married to her. He should have known better. The men took a moment to process the dressing down they had just received. Harm was the first to speak.

“I’m sorry Harriet, Bud and AJ. I honestly don’t know what came over me.”

“I have an idea, Comm.”

“Well maybe you could explain it to me, because I sure don’t have a clue.”

“Well Comm., we all know you are an emotional person. Especially when LtCol. Mackenzie is involved. We have watched you both for 8 years. We know how you feel about her. You love her. Don’t you?”

All Harm could do was stare. ‘How they hell did they know that?! I know Sturgis never told anyone.’ Seeing that Harm didn’t deny it, Harriet continued.

“I would speculate that the argument you two had tonight was personal in nature. As always, you both found a way to push the other’s buttons. This led to the argument, and LtCol. Mackenzie left your apartment abruptly. Am I right so far?”

“I can’t deny it, Harriet. You sure you never went to law school?”

“Well I did work at JAG, sir. I paid attention. Now, if I may?”

“You may.”

“You never anticipated Mac being as hurt as she is. When you found out the extent of the injuries, your mind and body went into overload. You didn’t know how to handle what was going on, so you went to plan B. Take it out on someone else.”

Harriet stood back and watched the expressions on the men’s faces. They all pretty much had the same expression. Shock.

“How….What…..” was all Harm could get out.

“As is said earlier, sir. I paid attention. I also took a couple of psychology classes.”

“Well Harriet, I would say you hit the nail on the head. I truly am sorry about my behavior. I just don’t know what to do with these feelings inside.”

“The best thing to do, sir is not to fight them. Let them come, and let us help you. We want to be there for you and the Colonel. All you have to do is let us.”

“I think I can do that.”

“Permission to hug the Comm.?”

“Permission granted.”

Harriet enveloped Harm in a big hug. She wanted to make sure that he did understand what she had said. They would be there for him and Mac no matter what.

“Thanks, Lt. I needed that.”

“Anytime, sir.”

Harm was about to say something, when a nurse entered the room.

“Excuse me. Comm. Rabb?”

“Yes?”

“I’m here to take you to see LtCol. Mackenzie.”

Everyone just looked at one another. This was it. They were about to see Mac. Harm was the first to get up and make his way towards the door. Reaching the door, he took one last look over his shoulder. He expected to see them right behind him, but they weren’t. They were exactly where he left them.

“You guys coming?”

AJ stepped in front of him.

“You go to her, son. She needs you now. Now go to her and bring her back to us.”

With unshed tears in his eyes, Harm replied.

“I will, sir. I promise.”

“You know Mac always said you never make a promise you can’t keep.”

“I don’t, sir. I don’t plan on losing her. I’m not giving up on her, sir.”

“See that you don’t.”

Harm exited the room and followed the nurse leaving AJ, Bud, and Harriet behind. They each looked at each other, while trying to decide what to do. AJ was first to speak up.

“Why don’t we all go get some coffee and find the waiting room by the ICU?”

“That sounds like a great idea, sir.”

They all exited the room, and they stopped at the nurse’s station to let them know where they’ll be should Harm come back. While walking to the cafeteria, each was trying to come to grips with the events of the evening.

AJ was thinking that he just saw Mac yesterday. Yesterday. Who knew 24 hours later, her would be at Bethesda wondering if she’s going to survive.

Bud and Harriet were thinking about the conversation they had with Mac earlier in the day. They were taking AJ and Jimmy to the park tomorrow for a picnic. They invited Mac and Harm, since it had been so long since they had seen the boys. Mac said she would come, and she would ask Harm for them since she was going to see him that day. Of course, Harriet became exited at the prospect of Harm and Mac spending the evening together, and then they would be together all day Sunday with her and her family. Bud kept telling her that Mac said it was a working dinner, but she didn’t care. Neither could believe they were here. It seemed like they just spoke to her. It showed them just how fragile life can be.

Harm was having trouble of his own. In his mind, he was happy to finally get to see Mac, but he was afraid to see her, too. He kept trying to brace himself for what he was about to see. He knew he needed to be strong for her. He hoped his strength would bring her back to him. He had to make things right between them. It wasn’t until they reached Mac’s room that Harm noticed his hands were shaking.

“She’s in there, sir. I need to tell you what to expect when you see her. There are going to be a bunch of tubes, wires, and machines hooked up to her. As Dr. Morris said, she had a perforated lung. We have her on a machine that will keep her left lung slightly inflated. We also have her on a broad-spectrum antibiotic, and she is going to receive 2 pints of blood. Her head is wrapped, and she received 16 stitches to the left side of her head. There is a cast on her left arm, and all other injuries are hidden under her gown. Everything else is superficial, and we have cleaned and dressed them accordingly. Do you have any questions before we go in?”

“Can she hear me when I talk to her?”

“Some studies have shown that some coma patients hear people talking to them. I always encourage family to talk to the patients. It always seems to help the family to deal.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Ok. Here we go.”

Both walked into Mac’s room. When Harm saw Mac, a lone tear fell down his cheek. The nurse motioned to the chair next to the bed and left him alone. Harm slowly made his way towards the bed. He couldn’t believe the vision before him. This couldn’t possibly be Mac. Not his Sarah. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare he was sure he was having. She looked like she was asleep, but the tubes and machines reminded him where he was. Taking her hand in his, he began to talk to her.

“Hey marine. This is quite a mess you got yourself into. Just know that the Navy is here to save the day.”

Humor seemed to be the only thing Harm could think of at the moment. He was still in shock about everything that happened. Not to mention the person laying before him now.

“Sarah? Can you hear me? Come back to me please. I need you so much. I need to apologize for being such an asshole to you tonight. You were right. I never let you get a word in. All this is so new to me, Sarah. You…me…us. When you told me there would never be an us, I believed you. Damn it! We were just starting to find our way back to each other. I can’t lose you, Sarah. I just can’t.”

Tears were flowing freely now as Harm laid his head on his and Mac’s hand. He laid there, crying, for quite some time, when a nurse touched his shoulder.

“Sir?”

Harm looked up quickly, and he turned to the nurse. He hurriedly brushed the tears aside and willed the rest away. Now was not the time to have the emotional breakdown he deserved.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, sir. Visitors are only allowed in here for 15 minutes.”

“What do you mean?! I’m not leaving her!”

Those are the rules, sir. I truly am sorry. Maybe you could talk to the doctor about allowing you to stay longer. I know he has done it in the past.”

“Ok. Can I have one more minute, please?”

“Certainly.”

Harm turned to Mac.

“I have to go for now, Sarah, but I’ll be back.”

He leaned closer to her ear, and whispered.

“I love you, Sarah.”

With that, he turned and exited the room. Harm started to make his way back to his friends still reeling from the experience. He didn’t know how much more he could take of this. How will his heart survive if she doesn’t wake up?

Little did he know that Mac was going through her own private hell.

‘Where the hell am I? What’s going on? Where’s Harm?’

Just as she finished the last sentence, the memories of the night came flooding back. It was like her mind was playing the night’s events like a movie with her as the only viewer. She remembered the whole evening. She and Harm had an excellent dinner and conversation. Then they began to talk serious. Next thing she saw was the argument, and herself leaving his apartment. She remembered feeling angry and confused. Angry for how Harm treated her. Confused from trying to figure out what to do now.

Flashback

‘What am I going to do with him? Why do I let him get to me like this? I shouldn’t have let my anger get the best of me. I should apologize to him. If this is going to work, we need to accept and deal with each other’s issues.’

Doubt started to creep it’s way in.

‘Why would it work out? Every man I’ve ever met has passed through my life. I just can’t keep hold of any of them. Maybe my father was right. Maybe I am useless and good for nothing. Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy.’

Thoughts like those kept flashing through her mind, as tears fell down her face. She was so wrapped up in them that she didn’t see the SUV about to plow into her. Her last thoughts were feelings of despair and worthlessness.

End Flashback

‘Oh my God! I remember it now. I was in an accident, but I can’t wake up damn it!’

Suddenly voices came from everywhere. Voices of men from her past. All telling her the same things.

‘Why fight, Sarah? You have nothing to live for. Just give up. He doesn’t want you. He wants a woman who can give him children. Walk away, Sarah. Walk away.’

‘NNNOOO! This is a dream! That’s all it is. Come on, Mac, wake up. Wake up!’

The voices assaulted her again.

‘This isn’t a dream, Sarah. There’s nothing you can do to fight us. Just give it up.’

Mac slid to the ground, wrapping her arms around her legs, and began to rock. She prayed that she could find the strength to fight the demons in her mind and wake up. That’s when another voice came to her. It was someone she knew, but she could barely make out what was said.

‘I love you, Sarah.’

She fought to figure out where the voice came from, but the memories of her past overwhelmed her. They sent her into a deeper pit of despair. She wondered if she would be able to make it out.

Meanwhile, Harm made his way back to his friends. He was completely unaware of the internal struggle Mac was in. He was having one of his own. The vision of Mac in that room assaulted him with a vengeance. It was tearing him apart. A voice inside his head kept repeating to him that it was his fault she was here. If he could have voiced his feelings, the night would have ended differently. Another voice was also telling him that it’s all Sturgis’ fault. If he was paying attention to where he was going, Mac would be safe. He was so lost in his thoughts that He didn’t realize he had slid down a wall, and he was rocking. His mom use to rock him when he had nightmares about his dad. It always seemed to help him feel better. This time, however, it didn’t work. He couldn’t stop the nightmares that haunted his mind. He couldn’t take it. His control was slipping fast. He had to get out of here. He had to clear his head. Harm got up and rushed out the hospital, unaware that his friends were looking for him.

Bud, Harriet, and AJ made their way to ICU. It had been a while since Harm had went to see Mac. They knew visitors were only allowed in there for 15 minutes. It had been 30 minutes, and he still hadn’t shown up. They all were concerned about him. They could imagine what Mac may have looked like, and it probably hit Harm pretty hard.

“Excuse me, ma’am. We’re looking for Comm. Rabb. He came to see LtCol. Mackenzie. Have you seen him?”

“Yes, ma’am. I did. I was the nurse who took him to her. He just came out 15 about minutes ago.”

“Really. You didn’t happen to see where he went?”

“He looked like he was heading towards the elevators.”

“How did he look?”

“To be honest. He didn’t look so good. When I went to get him, he was crying. It was so sad. When he finally came out, he looked so lost.”

“Thank you, Ensign. Do you think we can see her for a minute. We just need to see she’s alive.”

“I was just about to go take her vitals. I don’t see why you couldn’t see her for a moment.”

“Thank you very much ma’am.”

The nurse took them to Mac’s room. She explained Mac’s condition and appearance to them. Once she was finished, she brought them inside. A gasp could be heard from all three of them when they saw her. Disbelief emanated from them. This couldn’t be Mac. The woman on the bed barely resembled the marine they knew.

Harriet grabbed Bud’s hand a squeezed. Tears were flowing down her face. Here was the woman she came to when she had a problem. Now she’s laying in a hospital bed fighting for her life.

Bud gave Harriet a gentle squeeze to reassure her that everything would be ok. He knew the bond these two shared, and he also knew how strong Harriet is. She will get through this, and he will be there to help her. He figured if he could just focus on his wife, he wouldn’t have to feel the pain in his heart. Pain for both Mac and Harm. This must have killed him to see her like this. Bud wanted to find Harm and make sure he was ok.

AJ had trouble with the sight before him also. This was his ex Chief-of-Staff. The person he had counted on numerous times in the past. She looked so fragile now. She didn’t look like the stoic marine he knew.

After thanking the nurse, the group made their way back to the waiting room.

“We have to find Harm.”