The Silver Chalice Restaurant

Friday 1845 Local

Romance was in the air. The restaurant was the epitome of a grace and elegance. Wall sconces and exquisite chandeliers. White linen and silver. Candles and flowers. I

It was the perfect place for a rendezvous.

Despite the elegant surroundings, Mac was irritated. He was late. Again. And she didn’t have to check the antique gold watch on her wrist to know how late he was. 45 minutes. Sighing, her irritation deepened into outright annoyance when she realized that he probably wasn’t even going to show up.

She reminded herself that he was doing a dangerous and difficult job. A job that often meant he couldn’t contact her, even to cancel or postpone a date.

Glad she’d decided to wait in the bar instead of waiting at a table, she took a sip of her second tonic water. At least when she left alone, it wouldn’t be as obvious to everyone in the place that she’d been stood up. Again.

It wasn’t the first time. Or even the third time, although he usually managed to have his secretary call to cancel rather than have her actually go to meet him at a restaurant. A little niggle of worry stirred, but she quickly squashed it. If she worried about him every time he didn’t show up, or was late, she’d never have another wink of sleep again.

Of course, she understood about his job. How could she not? But damn it, it was just plain maddening to be left out and alone, no matter what the reason.

But he was always SO sorry for it, so apologetic. Except when he was in a hurry. Or busy with his job. Which was most of the time.

‘Stop it’, she scolded herself silently. There was no point in working herself into a fury. There was no telling when she’d have the opportunity to vent, and she definitely didn’t need any more anger in her life at this point.

“Excuse me, but a beautiful woman like you shouldn’t be scowling into her drink like that.” A masculine voice interrupted her dark thoughts.

Mac looked up, ready to brush off any guy stupid enough to approach her when she was in this frame of mind. Surprise had her break into a smile instead. “John!” There he was, grinning at her. Former mentor, former lover, former co-defendant and savior.

Taking her hand in his, he kissed it with continental flair. “I hope that smile means you’re not going to take my head off for daring to speak to you.” The sight of his handsome face was overwhelming. She stood and hugged him, willing the tears back. “John…what a wonderful surprise.”

He hugged her back, enjoying the unexpected strong response she gave him, but a little concerned as well. Mac was never one for showing her emotions openly. “If I’d have known I’d get this kind of welcome I’d have hunted you down long before this.”

With a short laugh she released him and sat back down, gesturing to him to join her.

“I just…I’m glad to see you. How are you?”

He looked wonderful to her, as handsome as ever. The same strong, stable, secure man she had loved so long ago. The situation around them had been impossible- he was her CO- but he’d never, ever let her down. It was she that had walked away. For just a moment she allowed herself to wonder what life would have been like if she hadn’t walked away. All the pain she could have avoided…

“I’m doing fine,” his warm voice brought her back from her wanderings. “And you look terrific, as always.” But he could see that she wasn’t fine. “But something’s not quite right, is it?”

Flashing him a brilliant smile, she answered him. “Well, I’ve been stood up. And there’s been some…unpleasantness lately. But I’m okay.”

Smiling , he took a seat next to her. She was gorgeous, as always, and the little black dress she was wearing showed all those wonderful curves, but there were shadows haunting her expressive eyes. Shadows that hadn’t been there before; even when that whole mess with her husband was going on. “Sarah, you can talk to me. At least you used to be able to.”

The bartender interrupted them briefly, and John ordered a drink.

She watched him as he chatted with the bartender for a moment. The sound of his caring voice had her blinking back tears again. If there was ever someone who listened and cared, and didn’t judge, it was John. It used to be Harm, but that was gone.

The bartender left and she resolutely pushed the thought of Harm away, along with all the crap her life had been subject to recently. “I know I can, John, it’s just…I’d like to have a good time for a change, and not think about it.”

“So who’s the idiot that stood you up?” He figured he knew the name before he asked. “Rabb?” Even years ago, he’d sensed something between the two of them.

Rolling her eyes, she gave a bitter chuckle. “No. Harm and I have never even come close enough for a date.” She stopped herself before she showed too much. “My absent date’s name is Clayton Webb.”

“Webb…I’ve heard that name before somewhere.” Frowning, he tried to recall where.

“Yeah, he works for State.” Knowing that John would see through that job description, she reached for a pretzel as she waited for his response.

“A spook? You’re dating a spook?” Disbelief and consternation showed clearly in his tone.

She gave another short laugh. “Well, dating might be too strong a word. Usually, we set up a date and then he doesn’t show up.” Pride made her smile, even when it hurt. “I guess that’s just how it goes.”

The bartender set his drink in front of him, bourbon on the rocks. Taking a sip, he went back to his original thought. “What happened with you and Rabb?”

Looking down at her drink, she poked at an ice cube gently. “Nothing.”

A sore spot, he thought to himself, and decided to let it go. Hoping to make her smile, he asked “So where’s the spook tonight? What’s his name again? Clayton Wimp?”

Unexpectedly her lips tightened and her shoulders tensed. All the times that Harm mispronounced Dalton and Mic’s name came rushing back. “Webb…Clayton Webb.” Her voice was low and terse.

“Hey, I was just joking around.” She never used to be this touchy. Hell, once you got past those defenses she had a great sense of humor. What the hell happened?

“Oh God.” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, John. I’ve been a mess lately…I don’t mean to take it out on you.” She drew a shuddering breath and removed her hands from her eyes. This time a determined smile crossed her face.

“Please, let’s not talk about me. Tell me about you and what you’ve been doing.” Gently he reached out and touched her shoulder. “Sarah...what’s wrong?” In all the time he’d known her, he’d never seen her like this.

“Please, John, tell me about you.” It would take a stronger man than him to resist the plea in those dark eyes. “I don’t want to think about me tonight.” He smiled and shifted gears, trying to lighten the moment. “Well, I’m out of the Marines. Retired.”

“Really? Is that what you want?” She latched onto the safer topic.

“Yeah, it is actually.” Chuckling, he continued, “It surprised the hell out of me. I really didn’t know if I could do it. But I’ve got some property in Colorado, in the mountains. A little cabin I’m fixing up.”

A knowing smile crossed her face as she remembered long ago dreams whispered to each other in the night. “You always wanted that. I’m happy for you.”

He laughed and covered her hand with his. “Wanna run away with me?” He was only half joking, truth be told. He knew their time was over, but there was still a flicker for her. It would always be there. “I’ll take you away from Wimp’s who stand you up and anyone who hurts you.”

For just a moment she considered it, wanting to run away from her life. But if there was one thing she learned, it was you couldn’t run away from your problems. Wherever you go, there you are. Twining her fingers through his, she bantered back. “Yes, take me away from all of this. And you’ll shoot the nasty Marines that show up to take me back when I’m AWOL, right?”

“No one would hurt you when you’re with me, Sarah.” Lifting her hand, he gave it another kiss. “But I guess the Marines would just keep coming, they have nasty habit of not giving up. We’re all fighters.”

“John…”

Swiveling on his barstool, he turned her stool so they were facing each other. “I know.” He tightened his hand on hers when she tried to withdraw it. “Do you remember that bar fight we were in back on Guam?”

The laugh in her voice delighted him. “That wasn’t a real bar fight.”

“Oh yes it was.” He laughed along with her as he reminisced. “Those Army idiots never knew what hit them.”

“They thought I was a cream puff.” With another laugh she thought about the Army Lieutenant who wouldn’t take no for an answer. John had left to go to the bathroom, and the Lieutenant and his friend had been quite insistent that she join them for a drink.

Naturally enough, when John returned, the testosterone had gone through the roof and before she knew it, John was taking both of the Army guys on. She couldn’t let him fight alone, could she? She was a Marine and trained in hand to hand.

Again, naturally enough as it was a bar frequented by the Military, more and more people had entered into the fray. John and Mac had barely escaped the MP’s by sneaking out the back.

Both of them were laughing heartily as they walked down Memory Lane. Damn, she thought to herself, those had been good times.

“I swear to God, I’ll never forget the look on that guy’s face right before you took him down.” Unable to control it, John snorted with laughter. “That big muscled guy with your foot in his face. And he went down like a sack of shit.”

Giggling helplessly, Mac smacked him on the shoulder and then leaned against it to hide her face in embarrassment. “Stop it.”

It was this scene that met Harm’s eyes as he rounded the corner and settled a cold rage in his heart.

“Well, well, Colonel,” Harm’s sarcastic voice interrupted their laughter, “I’m shocked to find you stepping out on Webb.”

Before Mac could think of a suitably spiteful rejoinder, he held out a hand to John.

“Farrow, nice to see you again.” His tone intimated that it was really anything but. “And a surprise.” He gave Mac a short sneer before returning his gaze to Farrow.

Never one to back down from a fight, John took the proffered hand and gripped it. “Nice to see you too, Rabb.” The struggle for dominance in the hand clasp was brief, but unresolved. “But somehow I should have known you ’d show up.” He refrained from showing that his hand hurt from Harm’s crushing grip.

Harm crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. “Yeah, you probably should have.” He would have died before showing his hand was mashed from John’s handshake.

Harm had the advantage in height and the fact he was still in his dress blues, but John been a Marine Colonel. It took more than that to intimidate him. Elegantly casual in his dark slacks and silk shirt, he met Harm’s smirk with one of his own. Reaching over, he took Mac’s hand. “I was fortunate enough to run into Sarah tonight. I’m still counting my blessings.”

Harm glared at the clasped hands. If he had laser vision, he thought to himself, both of those hands would have been crisped.

Mac had watched the by-play between the two men open-mouthed. Harm was way over the line, and John wasn’t far behind him. Abruptly she pulled her hand away from John’s. “Clay couldn’t make our date. I was getting ready to leave when John appeared.” She gave Harm the Marine death glare. “What’ s your excuse for showing up?”

He smiled at her, knowing it would annoy her further. “I had to meet a witness here, one of the waiters. We finished up and I decided to have a drink.” He shot her one of his most charming grins. “Isn’t it fortunate I ran into you?”

Rudely, he stepped between Mac and Farrow, forcing John to let go of Mac’s hand and scoot his barstool away from Mac. Waving at the bartender, he pretended not to hear her muttered response, “Oh yes, so fortunate.”

After ordering a beer, he stayed between them, leaning with his back against the bar. “So, John, what’s new with you? Still in charge of maintenance at Quantico?” Mac rolled her eyes, wanting to just sock him one. Could he get any ruder?

“I hear those potholes are tough to keep patched up.” Harm continued with a nasty smile.

That answered that, she thought to herself. She shouldn’t ask those questions, even silently.

“Actually, I’m retired now.” If John was angered by Harm’s supercilious tone, he hid it well. “I’ve got a cabin up in the Rockies I’m renovating.” Reaching across Harm, he took Mac’s hand in his once more and grinned at her. “I was trying to talk Sarah into running away with me.”

Harm blanched a little as his dream from the Chinese Restaurant seemed to be coming true, but quickly recovered. Glancing at Mac, he was relieved to see that she didn’t look like she was ready to run off with Farrow yet. Stepping forward, he broke through their hands once more. “Just let me grab a seat, I’d love to chat with you for a while.”

The stool screeched noisily across the tiled floor, but he forced it between Mac and John. Smiling cheekily, he leaned over to Mac. “Isn’t this cozy?”

Wow, he thought to himself, if she had laser vision, he’d be nothing but a little pile of ash. He decided not to wait for a response to that question, and turned his attention to Farrow. “So you’re running away from civilization?” He almost felt a little guilty for his rudeness before. Almost.

“No, not really. I plan to take it with me.” John and Harm’s gazes met, each man gauging the other. “I haven’t been able to convince Sarah to run away with me, but I’m hoping she’ll come for a visit when she has some leave.” John gave Mac a winsome smile, which she answered in kind.

“Really.” So much for guilt, Harm thought to himself. “I would have thought she’d like something a little more…comfortable, maybe a tropical island.” His next remark betrayed his bitterness. “She seemed to like the beaches in Sydney quite a bit.”

Anger flared in her eyes. “You’ve never really tried to find out what I like, Harm, so maybe you shouldn’t be giving advice to John.” With a huff she picked up her drink.

The time for attack had arrived. Lowering his voice, he let his voice become a sexy purr. “I’ve always wanted to know what you like, Mac. Why don’t you tell me?”

Stunned, she actually gaped at him, arm frozen in mid-air. Delighted with her reaction, he leaned over and gently touched her cheek. “I’d do my best to make sure you were happy.” Intently, he gazed into her eyes, willing her to believe he meant it.

“So what kept Webb from showing up, Sarah?” John’s voice broke the trance Harm had induced.

“What?” She jerked her attention back to John. “Ummm…I’m not sure.” Flustered, she took a sip of her drink, making sure she avoided eye contact with either man.

Leaning back, Harm smiled to himself. Oh yeah, there was still something there. This could be fun. “Sometimes it’s hard for Webb to get in touch, isn’t it Mac?” Feeling magnanimous, he decided to give her a break and answer for her. “I’m sure he had a good reason for missing your date.”

Suspicious, she narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m sure he did.”

Hoping to stir the fire a little, John kept it up. “I never thought I’d see the day when you dated a spook, Sarah. You never used to like the Agency much. As I recall, you felt you could never trust anyone associated with it to tell you the truth.”

Unexpectedly sensing an alliance would be to his advantage, Harm agreed with John. “You used to have a healthy distrust for Webb, Mac. How do you get past all that secrecy and espionage?” A guileless expression crept across his face. “I mean, what if he has to romance some secret agent?”

Great, now they were both ganging up on her. And unfortunately, they were both voicing her strongest doubts about her relationship with Clay. “I can trust Clay.” It sounded weak, even to her. “He’s a good man.”

Harm spoke to John confidentially. “I think it’s difficult for Mac to admit she might have made a mistake. It’s just my opinion, of course, but Webb is not the most reliable of men.”

John nodded knowingly. “That’s too bad, but I was afraid of that.” Giving Harm a considering glance, he continued, “Maybe it’s time for her to hook up with someone who will be there for her…who knows her through and through.” His implication was obvious. He was that man.

The challenge between the two men was palpable. “You’re absolutely right, John. But it would be a mistake for her to reach for something from the past.” Smug now, Harm allowed his own inference to fester. “She should move forward…to a new relationship.”

“Excuse me,” Mac’s voice interrupted their duel. “Can we talk about something else besides my relationship? I really don’t need advice from either one of you. I’m perfectly capable of making decisions on my own.”

Instantly John realized he’d gone too far in his game with Harm. Smiling ruefully, he apologized. “Sorry, Sarah.”

Harm, on the hand, had just gotten started for the evening. He shot her a cocky grin and said, “Just trying to help you out, Colonel.”

Shooting Harm a speaking look, she answered John, “It’s okay, John.” Hoping for a change of subject, she continued, “So when are you heading out to Colorado?”

John’s smile warmed toward her. “Well, I don’t have a real schedule; it’s pretty much whenever I want to go.” He managed to make his tone intimate and shut Harm out. “I was thinking I might hang around for a little while.” His eloquent glance told her she was the reason.

Giving a loud laugh, Harm clapped him on the shoulder, almost jarring John out of his seat. “Yeah, but there’s no time like the present, is there, Farrow? I mean, just think of that cabin, rotting away at the mercy of the elements. I bet you’re just dying to get started on it.”

She couldn’t believe Harm’s boorish behavior, but beyond giving him another glare, said nothing.

It was evident John had had enough of the game and didn’t want to upset her further. “Excuse me please, Sarah, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Standing up, he headed for the restroom, hoping to give Mac a little break. While he was enjoying the battle with Harm, it was obviously difficult on Mac.

Mac rounded on Harm as soon as John was out of ear shot. “What the hell are you doing?”

He gave her his best innocent look. “What?”

“Harm, you can’t come in and start acting like…like…” she trailed away, not sure how to finish the sentence.

His expression became challenging, daring her to say it. “Like what?”

“Like a…a jealous boyfriend!” she burst out, completely frustrated with him. “Like you…you…” again she faltered, unable to voice what she meant.

“Like I care about you?” Anger sharpened his tone. “Like maybe I don’t want you to get involved with Farrow…or Webb?” Didn’t she get it yet?

By now they were leaning towards each other, their faces close together. “It’s not your business who I get involved with!”

“I’m making it my business.” There was a finality in that statement that shocked her.

All she could do was stare at him in surprise.

It was this scene that that met Clay’s eyes as he rounded the corner and settled a cold rage in his heart.

“Sarah, I wasn’t expecting to see you here with Harm,” Clay’s sarcastic voice broke into their staring match. “Always good to see you, Harm.” His tone intimated that it was anything but.

Clay leaned over to kiss Mac, but she turned her head so that his lips brushed her cheek. She didn’t say anything.

Harm, for his part, did not miss Mac’s move, but focused his attention on Clay. “Well, I wasn’t expecting to see you either. Apparently, Mac wasn’t either.”

Clay settled himself in the chair next to Mac and took her hand. “I’m sorry I’m so late, Sarah. I was tied up and couldn’t get away.” Deciding that antagonizing over Harm would be a mistake, he endeavored to make his tone truly sorrowful.

“Literally?” Harm stuck his head around Mac to query Clay. “That must have been uncomfortable. Are you all right?” The ironic tone of his concern was patently obvious. Reaching out, he took Webb’s wrist to check it for “rope burns” and to separate him from Mac.

Clay gave Harm a dirty look, but continued to address Mac while he pulled his arm away from Harm. “I’m really sorry, Sarah. Can we still have dinner? I’d really like the chance to make it up to you.”

Mac sighed, but didn’t see any alternative except to give in, albeit grudgingly. “Well, Clay, I guess…”

Before she could finish, John returned, interrupting her. He had seen Clay as he walked across the room and figured out who he was. “Ahhh…you must be the elusive Clayton-” The mute appeal in Mac’s eyes had him pronouncing Clay’s name correctly, “Webb. Nice to finally meet you.”

Clay had no idea who John was, but he definitely didn’t like the way this guy was eyeing Sarah. “And you are?”

“Clay, this is John Farrow, a very dear friend of mine.” John held out a hand to Clay, who took it strongly. Another struggle took place. Clay managed to hold his own, but just barely. “Nice to meet you, Clay.”

“Likewise.” Turning to Mac, Clay attempted one more time to get her away. “So, will you still have dinner with me, Sarah? I’d really like the chance to spend some time with you.”

“Well, I…” She wasn’t allowed to finish this time either.

“Excellent idea, Clay.” Once again, Harm put in his two cents. “Let’s all have dinner, shall we? You can get to know Farrow, here, and we can catch up. It’ll be fun.” The smile he gave Webb was full of camaraderie.

“Actually, I meant to have dinner with Sarah, Rabb.” There was open annoyance in Clay’s voice.

Unexpectedly, John chimed in on Harm’s side. “Come on Clay, I haven’t seen Sarah for a few years, and I’d like the chance to spend some time with her too. What do you say, Sarah?”

All three men turned their eyes on her. John had a pleading expression, Clay was definitely expecting her to shut that suggestion down, and Harm had his cocky grin in place, obviously daring her to agree. All she wanted to do at that point was to go home and have a hot bath.

With a heavy sigh, she nodded her head. “Fine, let’s just all have dinner.”

As the only one standing in front of her, John had the advantage and used it.

Extending his hand in invitation, she had no choice but to take it. He drew her to her feet and placed her hand in the crook of his arm. “Did you have a table, Clay?” Clay gave him a dirty look, but led the way. “It’s over here.” Standing, he started toward a table for four next to the window. John and Sarah followed, with Harm at the end of the group, obviously biding his time.

Once at the table, Clay pulled out a chair for Mac, giving a smirk to the other two men behind her back. “Thank you, Clay.” She seated herself. Clay turned to take the seat next to her, but found a smugly grinning Harm already there. Farrow managed to catch the seat on the other side of her. Irritated, but struggling to remain calm, he took the chair across from her.

For a few moments there was peace as a waiter appeared with menus and orders were taken. Once he was gone, John opened with the first pitch. “So, Clay, Sarah tells me you work for State. What could possibly be so important you could stand up a beautiful woman like Sarah?”

It was Harm that hit it home before Clay could answer. “I’m sure it’s classified, John. Clay’s an important man that can’t discuss his private affairs.” There was a pregnant pause as Clay struggled under the double-play. “What’s that on your collar, Clay? Lipstick?” It was all Harm could do not to laugh at Clay’s glare of indignation.

“No, it’s not lipstick. There’s nothing on my collar.” He looked across the table at Mac, trying to gauge her reaction to Harm’s outrageous question.

Expressionless, she said nothing, but she did look at his collar. There appeared to be something on it…something…black. “It looks like black ink, Clay.” Shooting Harm a ‘cut it out’ look, she smiled at Clay. “Relax.”

“Lucky escape, Clay.” It was John this time. He was enjoying double teaming Webb. “Of course, some women do wear black lipstick.” He exchanged an amused glance with Harm. “I believe they call it Goth.”

Exasperated, Mac finally was driven to defend Clay. “Stop it, the both of you. I trust Clay.”

Sanctimonious now, Clay smiled at Mac. “Thank you, Sarah. I knew I could count on you to be the voice of sanity.”

Harm and John both rolled their eyes. Harm had a coughing fit that sounded suspiciously like “bullshit.”

Before Mac could say a word, Clay fired a salvo over John’s deck. “I think I remember you. Weren’t you on trial for disobeying an order a few years ago? And then for murder? How’d you manage to get out of both of those?”

This time Mac answered for John, her tone chilly. “The first trial was for rescuing a group of marines held prisoner on Haiti. He was convicted, but awarded no punishment.” She gave Harm an acknowledging smile before turning cold eyes on Clay. “And of course, the second trial –for murder–was when he was a co-defendant with me.”

Harm smirked as Clay was effectively silenced. Unfortunately, he hadn’t remembered the whole report he’d read on the incident.

Providentially, the waiter appeared with their dinners, effectively cutting off conversation for the moment. Mac could only hope the ensuing calm did NOT precede the storm.

The clinking of silverware as they began to eat was an improvement over the conversation, as far as Mac was concerned. She concentrated on eating so she could make an early escape.

But Harm was not content to let sleeping dogs lie. “So, John, surely there ’s a woman in your life? I mean, surely you haven’t been hanging out for Mac all this time, have you?” Too late, he realized the implied insult to Mac and the opening he left for Farrow.

John smiled arrogantly at Harm, then turned limpid eyes to Mac. “Actually, Sarah is worth waiting for. And while I have dated a few women, none of them have measured up to her. If I thought I had a chance, I’d wait a life time.” While his tone was joking, there was undercurrent of truth to the statement that no one could miss.

This open declaration had Mac blushing and Harm cursing himself silently. Clay broke in before Mac could form a reply. “Well that’s too bad, because I’m dating Sarah now.” Arrogant now, he continued, “Wait if you want, but I have no intention of letting her get away.”

“I didn’t realize that you owned her, Webb.” There was contempt in John’s tone. “My mistake.”

Before the two of them could get in any deeper, Mac interrupted them. “As I said before Clay arrived, I would prefer not to discuss my relationships with anyone. Could we just move on, please?” Her tone promised violence if they didn’t drop the subject. “And for the record, anyone I’m dating or NOT dating as the case may be,” and here she punctuated her statement with a glare at both men, “is strictly my decision and my business, and no one else’s.” On the last part she included Harm in her glare.

Harm could only grin to himself. That had worked out better then he had planned. Oo-Rah, Mac, you tell ‘em.

Harm decided to liven things up a little with a direct assault on Mac. “So, did you guys hear about Mac’s latest case? The defendant cold-cocked her, and then Mac had to accompany her across the country to the brig.”

John and Clay both looked astounded. They started assaulting her with questions simultaneously. “Are you all right? Why did you have to accompany her? What was the Judge thinking, ordering that?” Their immediate sympathy was overwhelming and cloying to her, as Harm had known it would be.

Harm was really glad she didn’t have laser vision. If she did, there wouldn’t even be a grease spot left.

As she was unable to answer both men at the same time, Harm broke in. “Relax guys, Mac’s a marine and can certainly take a punch.” The twinkle in his eyes as he said this made her mouth quirk as she smothered a smile. “And,” he continued proudly, “She actually prevented a miscarriage of justice and got the defendant the help she needed.”

She still gave him a warning glare, not entirely trusting of this sudden turn around. Clay and John both smiled at her and congratulated her. It was thoroughly embarrassing.

“That’s nothing,” Clay said without thinking, “She took down a major terrorist all by herself a few weeks ago.” He’d meant it as a compliment, but she froze. Cursing himself for being an idiot, he tried to think of a way to back-peddle, but failed miserably.

Harm said nothing, appalled at Clay’s bringing up Sadik. John didn’t know anything, but was certainly aware of the change in atmosphere.

Mac finally managed an artificial smile and said in a brittle voice, “Well, if you and I had done the job right in the first place I never would have had the opportunity. And of course, Harm had to bail both our sixes out of that mess. Without him, neither you, nor I, would be here now.”

She took a careful bite of her potato and then set down her fork. “Would you excuse me, please? I need to powder my nose.” Rising, she picked up her purse and walked steadily towards the ladies room.

All three men courteously rose as she did. “Nice going, Clay,” Harm scolded as they sat again. “That was great.” Disgusted, he took a long gulp of beer.

“What is going on?” John had no clue. “Why is she upset?”

“Well, it’s all classified.” Clay had the grace to be shamefaced. “But suffice to say, this whole thing has been very difficult for Sarah, and I’ m an ass to bring it up.”

They waited in tense silence for her return. It seemed to take a long, long time.

When Webb’s cell-phone rang, he had a sick feeling. “Webb.” There was a short silence as he listened to the caller. Then, “Yes, just a moment.”

He handed the phone to John, who took it with a puzzled expression on his face. “It’s Sarah.”

Looking worried, John answered the phone. “Hello.”

Another silence as he listened. Then, “I understand, Sarah. I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you before I leave. Take care of yourself and stay in touch, will you?”

Another silence as he listened. “Of course, hang on.” He handed the phone back to Clay. “Yes, Sarah, I’m here.”

Harm watched all this with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Maybe he had overplayed his hand a little.

A long silence as Clay just listened. “Sarah, I think we should talk about this in person.” Turning, he tried to speak privately into the phone, but both Harm and John listened shamelessly.

“Right, I know…I’m sorry, but…” Clay was apparently not having much luck. His shoulders sank. “OK, I’ll call you next week.”

Another long silence.

“I understand, Sarah. Yes, I’ll tell him.” Clay shot Harm an angry glance.

“Good bye, Sarah.”

Clay ended the call. With a sigh he said to Harm, “She said to tell you she’ll see you Monday, at JAG.”

It was obvious the man was stricken, and Harm didn’t have the heart to kick him when he was down. He said nothing although he wanted to question Clay desperately.

Instead, he stood up. “Well, gentlemen, it’s been fun, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” He strode off without waiting for their reply.

John looked at Clay, feeling sorry for him. He knew how bad it felt when you lost Sarah Mackenzie. “How about a drink, Clay? We can commiserate.”

Clay looked up. “Sure, why not?” He gestured for the waiter. “You think he ’s going after her?”

John gave him a level look. “I would, wouldn’t you?”

Sarah Mackenzie’s Apartment Georgetown 2130 Local

As soon as she’d gotten home she’d changed into flannel pajamas. They weren’t sexy, but they were comforting. She’d thought about taking a hot bath to relax her, but the effort seemed so momentous that she decided against it. Even preparing a cup of hot tea had seemed like to much effort to expend. Fortunately, the fireplace just required turning a switch, so a fire was burning, unheeded.

The television was on, but she wasn’t paying attention to it. Instead, she stared at the ceiling as she lay collapsed on the couch, brooding.

What was it with her? She just couldn’t seem to make a relationship work. Clay was a good man, but there was just too many ‘things” in the way. His job- he was never there. He couldn’t tell her where he would be, or when he would be back. God forbid she need him while he was gone, because it was impossible to get in touch with him. And even those issues she might have worked around, but frankly, she just didn’t feel strongly enough about him to deal with them.

John was another good man, but he was her past. As attractive and stable as he is, there was no point in trying to recapture feelings that were long gone. And could she just chuck her career and follow him to Colorado? It would never work, and thank god she wasn’t trying to fool herself into thinking it could.

Harm. Another good man, the best she’d ever known. And while she could certainly accept a large portion of the blame for the state of their relationship, she wouldn’t take it all. Bottom line, he just couldn’t make that commitment. Either he didn’t want her enough to take the step, or he had some deep seated issues she wasn’t privy too. Either way, he was never going to be hers.

Briefly her thoughts drifted to Sadik, but she ruthlessly pushed them away. That was a road she’d been down too many times. The guilt…the anger. It was just a downward spiral that she needed to stay away from.

It was much better to kick herself over her failures in her personal life. Sighing, she rose and headed towards the kitchen. Somewhere in there, there simply HAD to be chocolate. Lots of it. If there wasn’t, then she would…she would…she didn’t know what she’d do. But it would be bad. Very, very bad.

A knock at the door cut short her trek. Heaving another heavy sigh, she pitied the poor fool that was at her door. Whoever it was had interrupted a very important mission. She was going to make whoever it was very, very sorry. Checking the peephole, she almost didn’t open the door. It was Harm. That was all she needed. Another round with him.

She opened the door and just looked at him, feeling hostile.

“Uh…Hi Mac.” Shooting her what he hoped was a charming smile, he half-shrugged in his nervousness. “Can I come in?”

He had changed out of his uniform. The worn jeans and black shirt looked good on him, but didn’t soften her attitude.

“Harm, I’m really not up for anything tonight. If it’s not important, can we just talk about it on Monday? I’m really tired.” She didn’t budge from the door, or open it and beckon him in.

“Well, it’s kinda important.” He stepped inside, pushing past her with determination. “Actually, it’s very important.”

Surprised at his insistence, she shut the door and turned to face him. “What’s wrong? Is it Mattie?” Deep down she was afraid he was mad at her about tonight, but Lord she didn’t want to get into that. She really was tired.

“No” They were standing near the door. Seeming to realize his curt answer wasn’t going to be enough; he gestured toward the couch and asked, “Can we sit down?”

Nodding, she headed toward the couch and sat down. He seated himself beside her and said nothing, just stared into the fire.

She didn’t say anything either.

The silence dragged on until her irritation finally boiled over. “Well?” He rubbed his hands over his face. Jesus, this was difficult. He had no how to start. As usual, he was tongue-tied whenever he tried to express himself to her ABOUT her. “Do you have anything to drink?” At her look, he continued, “I mean a glass of water.” Anything to get a few minutes to think.

“Sure” She rose to get it. “Be right back.”

Once she was gone he immediately started on himself. Think, damn it. You’ ve got to tell her. It’s now or never. Well, not never. I could still tell her tomorrow. I could just say I’m sorry and leave, and maybe we could have dinner tomorrow. Then I could set the mood with dinner. And be in my apartment. Home territory, that’s always an advantage.

“Here you go.” She set the glass down on the coffee table sat on the other end of the couch. “Now spill it. What’s wrong?”

Damn it. He’d wasted the time she’d been gone. “Um...well…I wanted to talk to you.” He took a long drink from the glass.

Suddenly she was nervous too. He looked so serious; this couldn’t be good. “So talk.” She did her best to smile and be encouraging. Maybe he needed some help with Mattie.

Setting the glass down, he tried to force himself to spit it out. “It’s just…well…I…” He broke off, frustrated. “Damn it, this shouldn’t be so damn difficult.”

Suddenly she just knew. “Harm, if you’re here to lecture me about Clay, you don’t need to. And frankly, I just don’t want to talk about him tonight.” Weary of the whole thing, she slumped back. “Please, if that’s all, can we just drop it?”

He was screwing this up so bad. Damn, damn, damn. “It’s not about Webb.”

Annoyed with himself, he stood up to pace. “It’s not about John, or Mic, or Dalton. It’s not about Diane, Jordan, or Renee.” Turning, he looked her straight in the eyes. “It’s about us.”

Fear shot through her. This was it. He didn’t even want to be her friend now. She’d known this was coming, and only had herself to blame. “Us?”

Looking at her, he could see she was pale with alarm. He could see this was the wrong time; she didn’t want him. Maybe she never had, but it was too late to back out now. He stiffened his spine and continued. “Yeah. Us.” His own dismay made his voice flat.

To his surprise and horror, tears welled in her eyes. “It’s ok, Harm.” She sniffed, and tried to choke back the emotion. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand.” Looking down, she played with one of the pillow tassels. “I know I haven’t been a very good friend.” One more time she choked back a sob. “I’ll make it easy for you.”

He had no idea what she was talking about. “You’ll make what easy for me?” “Work. Life. Whatever. I’ll stay out of your way.” She’d gotten control again. Her voice was low and even, but her eyes stayed down. She’d known this was coming, sooner or later.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

At his sharp tone, she finally looked up at him, anger stirring. “I said, I understand. I’ll stay out of your way.” She got the point, damn it! He didn’t have to be nasty!

“I never said I wanted you out of my way!” Was she trying to turn the blame for all this crap on him? “You were the one that said ‘never’ Mac!” Jeez, she could at least hear him out!

“I know what I said! I know it’s my fault, ok?” Throwing the pillow aside, she stood up and faced him. “Believe me, I know!” Abruptly she turned away, the anger fading as realization set in. “Can you just go? I’m sorry for everything…for Paraguay…It was just…I was so…I don’t know! I don’t know why I did what I did, but I know what I did. And I’m sorry. And I understand. So please, can you just go?”

Totally confused, he tried to make sense of that what she was saying. The last convoluted statement made no sense to him. Trying to keep his voice reasonable, he asked, “What do you understand, Mac?”

Sitting on the couch again, she crossed her arms and bent over as if in pain. “I know I hurt you in Paraguay. I know I was a bitch. I don’t know why, everything was just so screwed up!” She took a deep breath. “I understand why you don’t even want to be friends.”

If this was how well they communicated, it was no wonder they never got together. He wondered briefly about how much they’d misunderstood over the years. “Mac, I’m not saying I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” Sitting beside her, he finally took her hand. “I’m not saying that at all.”

“You’re not?”

The pain in those tear-drenched eyes nearly did him in. “No, I’m not.” He ran a gentle finger down her cheek.

The snap to fury was so fast he almost got whiplash. “Then what the hell are you doing? Did you just come here to mess with me?”

“No, I--” She cut him off before he got very far.

“Because I don’t need to be messed with, Harm!” She jerked her hand away and stood up. “I’ve had enough go wrong in my life, ok? And yes, I know I’ ve brought it all on myself.”

It was easy to see that embarrassment was causing the rage. While she continued to rant, he wondered why all of the sudden he could see that anger was her biggest defense weapon. And that she blamed herself for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life. For some strange reason it was all so clear to him, he almost smiled.

Getting up, he stepped in the middle of her pacing path. “Mac!” He had to raise his voice to get her attention.

She nearly bumped into him. “What?”

He couldn’t help himself. It was really the only thing he could think of to do. And he really wanted to do it. So he did.

He grabbed her, crushed her to him, and kissed her, deeply and passionately. In that first moment of the kiss, Harm thought he had won and saved himself the fight. In that brief flash of lightening, she melted into him like warm butter. Pulling her closer, he could only surmise that he was an idiot for waiting this long to really savor her, and then sank into the delectable sensation of her lips on his.

It took all her will to tear herself away. “No!”

She stood, panting in front of him. “It’s not going to work! I’m not just going to fold up because you finally decide you want me!” Anger coursed through her crazily, offsetting the fog that had settled over her when he pulled her into his arms. “You’ve had years, Harm. Eight years to make a move. I don’t know why you’ve decided now is the time, but I’m just not that easy!” She refused to think how easy it would have been to let that amazing kiss run its course.

Smiling, he paid more attention to what she didn’t say. Namely, she didn’t say she didn’t want him. In fact, if that interrupted kiss was any indication, she did want him.

And more than just a little.

“Mac, you know I’ve always wanted you.” He took a step towards her and felt a surge of masculine power when she took a wary step back. She didn’t trust herself with him. If she didn’t want him, she wouldn’t be afraid to let him touch her. “You’ve always known it.”

“Just stay where you are and keep your hands to yourself.” She was still breathing heavily, and temper or maybe passion had her eyes sparkling. He’ d never wanted her more. “You’ve gone crazy.”

Arrogantly now, he gave her a sexy grin. “You’ve made me crazy.”

“Harm, I mean it. Stay away.” Thrusting an imperative hand out, she stepped around until the coffee table was between them.

He softened his voice to that low gravelly tone he knew made her dissolve. “Mac, you know you really don’t want me too.”

He made a quick feint and laughed when she dodged.

“Harm, what the hell has gotten into you?” Backing away, she shifted around the couch to place it between them as he rounded the coffee table towards her. Privately she was enjoying the game, but refused to let him know.

Smiling, he stalked her now, trailing her like a panther and forcing her around the couch again. “I’ve decided to listen to my Inner Child and go after what I want.”

“Something tells me your wants are not childlike.” It was impossible to stay angry in this ridiculous situation, and she stifled a giggle as she continued circling the couch to stay out of his reach. Really, the man was impossible.

“My Inner Child is very mature for his age.” Grinning now, he lunged over the back of the couch and almost caught her, but she squealed in a very unmarinelike way and ran for the kitchen. “Stop it, Harm!”

He caught her at the door, but she grabbed on to the doorframe so he couldn’t turn her around to face him. “No, Harm! Let me go!”

Unfortunately, she was laughing as she said this, so he knew he had her.

“You know, Mac,” he stated conversationally as he pressed close behind her, arms around her waist, “This has interesting possibilities.” One hand edged under the flannel top to graze across the skin of her midriff.

“Harm, you have to stop this.” The words were there, but the tone was not in the least threatening. In fact, her voice was tremulous, something he’d never heard from her before.

Leaning down, he nibbled gently on an ear and took a brief nip on her neck. He was rewarded with a shiver. “You’re not really convincing me you want me to stop.” “I…I…do want you,” she whispered, “To stop…I mean.” But he could feel her body sway back against him, and her head fell to one side to allow him greater access to her neck. He took full advantage of it and nuzzled in the spot where neck joined to shoulder.

“I don’t believe you.” And the hand that had been teasing around stomach slipped up and cupped her breast, bringing another satisfying shudder. The other hand slipped under the waistband of the pajama bottoms and began playing in her curls.

“Harm…I…I…” she gasped and forced herself to speak. “We should…should…” She broke off when his finger grazed her clit, and just moaned.

“Yes, I think we should too,” he agreed, kissing her ear. “I definitely think we should.”

She could feel his arousal pressed into her butt, and managed to gather her will power. Letting go of the doorframe, she turned to face him. “No, I think we should talk.”

It was a miscalculation that cost her.

“Talking is over-rated.” And then his mouth descended on hers and she could no longer resist.

Tongues met and tangled in a slow, sensuous kiss.

“Damn you, this is not fair.” Mac’s murmur against his lips only made him laugh as hands roamed and explored. His laugh ended abruptly on an indrawn breath when she rubbed herself against the hard bulge in his pants. It was definitely time to move this to the bedroom.

Unwilling to part his lips or body from hers, he simply wrapped both arms around her ribs and lifted her. Her legs encircled his waist and the ardent kissing never stopped, but this time it was she that allowed her lips to tease along his neck. A flick of her tongue around his ear brought forth a moan. “Mac, holy God I want you.”

His hands cupped her bottom as he resumed kissing her and made his way toward the bedroom. He was so distracted that he stumbled over the shoes tossed carelessly on the floor in the bedroom. There was another laugh from Mac when he managed to aim his fall towards the bed, landing heavily with Mac on top of him.

But nothing stopped them; they never paused. In fact, she had managed to unbutton his shirt while he was carrying her, and was currently attempting to push it off his shoulders. She was hampered in this endeavor by his own attempts of removing her pajama top. Finally he gave in and managed to shrug off the shirt without getting up, but she surprised him.

Pushing him away, she stood beside the bed and pulled her top off over her head, letting it drop beside her. While Harm stared in appreciation of the sight, she gave him a sultry smile and began to push the pajama bottoms down, taking her panties along with them. ‘Thank you Jesus’ was the only thought in his head as the sight of a gorgeous, naked Sarah Mackenzie took his breath away.

When she returned to his arms, the feeling of her body against his was sheer ecstasy. Her breasts pressed against his chest, the skin to skin contact only further igniting his overheated desire. He clutched her to him, reveling in the feeling and struggling for control.

He couldn’t stop…not for anything. His mouth slipped down along her neck, leaving a trail of goose-bumps behind its wake. When he reached the tawny nipple, he circled it with his tongue and drew it into his mouth, delighting in the strangled moans he elicited.

This time when his hand reached her curls, he didn’t stop there. Giving her clit a few gentle flicks, he continued down and pushed a finger into her warm wet center. Damn, she was so wet! The lure was too strong. It was a tough choice, but he left the breast he’d been kissing and traveled down to the juncture of her thighs. Desperate to taste her, he sank his tongue into her, lapping up the sexual honey and reveling in her scent. A few tantalizing touches to her clit only produced more of the intoxicating flow.

And Mac was totally out of her mind, overwhelmed by the feelings he was producing. God, it felt so good. She couldn’t stop the moans or the instinctive movement of her hips. The sensations shot from her center, arching her back with the force of them. He was burning her alive, each surge stronger than the last, and all she could do was call out. “Oh God…H arm…Oh God…Yes…Yes…Harm…HARM!”

The last call of his name was screamed as he pushed her up and over the edge, hurtling through a climax that threatened to scorch all her nerve endings. As the waves of heat were ebbing, she felt him leave her and she let out a little whimper of protest, but couldn’t summon the energy to move.

She heard a smug laugh from Harm, and the statement “Just taking off my pants, Baby.” Before she could answer, his strong body covered hers and his long shaft slipped easily inside her wet, still throbbing core. The overpowering friction inside her reduced her to sobbing moans again.

Harm gathered her close, closing his eyes as he pushed into her. “Mac…” he murmured, “Mac…” This was what he’d always wanted. To see her like this…lost in passion. To feel her like this…all beautiful, sexy woman…and all his.

The heat of her…the delicious softness, Oh God, she felt so wonderful. She moved with him, and incredibly, he felt her inside muscles contracting faster, building to another orgasm. Lord this woman was made for loving!

She held tightly to him, matching him thrust for thrust, glorying in the feelings rushing over her again. When he propped himself up on his arms and increased the speed, she gave a little circle movement to her hips and once again couldn’t stop the moans as he drove her up and up, cresting once more, teetering on that sharp edge of passion.

It was more than he could stand, the rushing sensation of being inside her, shooting through his body. When her insides clutched at him in the throes of orgasm and her hips pumped wildly against him, he couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want it to end, but the pull was too strong. When she screamed out his name again, that was it.

He felt his eyes roll back into his head as the force of his orgasm rolled through and over him. “Mac!” Her name was the only thing that escaped him as his back arched and he drove forcefully into her one last time. And he emptied himself…all of himself…into her. If she was his, he was hers completely. There was no escaping it.

Once he could breathe again, he realized he was collapsed on top of her, probably smothering her. He tried to a gentleman and move, intending to snuggle down with her beside him, but she gave a low mutter. “No, don’t. Just stay…inside me.”

Like he ever wanted to be anywhere else. “I love you, Mac.”

She sniffled a little, as if trying to choke back tears. “I love you so much, Harm.” Silence reigned as they enjoyed the afterglow, stroking and touching each other. Harm though he had never known what true contentment could be like until now. Eventually though, he had to move. As he maneuvered them around so they were both on their sides, without breaking the connection between them, he heard her say his name.

“Harm?”

The low sexy way she said his name made his cock jerk involuntarily, and he slipped out of her. They both laughed as they shifted out of the wet spot.

“Not that I’m complaining in the least, but why now?”

He laughed again. “Well, it all started at the Chinese restaurant.”

Suddenly solemn, she looked at him. “Is this a long story?”

Unsure of what she meant, he nodded. “I guess so.”

“Then you can tell me later, ok? There’s something I’ve wanted to do for years, and I can’t wait another minute.”

A little nervous, he said, “OK. What is it?”

She laughed, and disappeared under the sheet. When he was engulfed into the moist of her mouth, he hardened almost instantly. “Jesus, Mac!”

When his eyes rolled back into his head again, he thought it was really a good thing he hadn’t known of this particular talent of hers. He would have attacked her right in the office.

The End