By Laurel A.
~ Night Three ~ Crazy Love
//MAC//
…we break our heated kiss, which had really been more of a dueling of wet
tongues, lips and mouths, and we just stare at each other for a moment.
Our heavy breathing is almost louder than the breezes in the coconut trees and
the breaking waves on the beach near by.
We smile at each other, and I let out a small laugh at the absolute
un-believability of the situation. Just
how did I find myself on a South Pacific island, in the hot, passionate embrace
of Clayton Webb?
~ The scene gets those funny flashback waves across it, and we see Mac in her
office, 11 days ago. ~
//MAC//
On somewhat of a whim, I’d picked up the phone and called the resort. I
was ready for a vacation as soon as we’d wrapped up the Mustafa Atef tribunal
and the search for Kabir Atef in Afghanistan. But with trying to catch up
on the backlog of cases that had piled up while our attentions were elsewhere,
there just wasn’t the time, and the months flew by with no break.
So, in the middle of a rainy DC November, this Marine was very ready to get
someplace tropical, and fast. I was exhausted from the past year --
feeling bad about Mic, taking fire in Indonesia, dealing with terrorists, and
the most exhausting -- the unending lack of resolution in my non-relationship
relationship with Harm.
Once I’d confessed to Sturgis that I was in love with Harm, I felt a sense of
relief. It was good to get it off my chest. It made me feel free in
a way -- finally allowing myself to feel the emotions I’d been
denying for so long.
But it’d been months since that slip of the tongue. 11 months, 14 days, 1
hour, 9 minutes, and 17 seconds to be exact, and even though Harm and I really
had come a long way toward starting back “at the beginning” again, we just never
got around to finishing *that* conversation.
The conversation that started years ago on the USS Watertown; the one I couldn’t
find the words for when Harm left for the Patrick Henry; the one that Harm put a
screeching stop to in Sydney; the one that heated up on the Admiral’s porch; the
one that never happened after Harm was discharged from the hospital; the one
that Harm didn’t have an answer for on the Guadalcanal.
Yeah, *that* conversation. And it’d been exhausting. I was tired of
harboring those pent up, unacknowledged, and unresolved feelings; I was tired of
it all. And maybe there’s just a point where you need to move on.
After all the time that’s passed and everything we’ve been through, I began to
think that if it was that
difficult for us to move beyond our partnership and attraction, maybe it wasn’t
meant to be.
So with that emotional baggage weighing me down, I decided to pack some actual
bags and head for the South Pacific. I wanted to get away from JAG, away
from DC, and away from Harm. In a way, I wanted to get away from myself.
That in mind, I booked myself for five nights into the Beachcomber Resort,
located on a *very* small island in the middle of the South Pacific. I
didn’t tell anyone where I was going, and in my eagerness to get a fresh
perspective and have a little fun, I giggled only a bit as I gave the
reservation desk my name as “Mary Layton.”
And just who is Mary Layton? She’s my downstairs neighbor, a quiet,
unassuming elementary school
teacher, who could probably also use a tropical vacation. But little does
she know that her name is
now gracing the registration check-in card of the Beachcomber Resort.
And I’m sure she would be quite surprised to find out that someone using her
name was about to make love with a real life spy.
~ The scene gets those funny flashback waves across it, as we shift back to the
present to see Mac and Webb resume their passionate embrace. ~
//WEBB//
If Chegwidden could see me now -- all hot, sweaty, and panting with desire.
Actually, I am very thankful to have the Admiral many thousands of miles away.
But had I known that getting caught by Mac on a sandy beach while clad only in a
Speedo bathing suit, and a skimpy one at that, would lead to this … I’d have
booked a vacation a long time ago.
~The scene gets those funny flashback waves across it, and we see Webb in his
office, 4 days ago. ~
//WEBB//
I ran background checks on the names of the other hotel guests one last time
before leaving the office.
I was still having a hard time believing that I was actually considering the
word “vacation” in the same
thought as myself.
But after interrogating Mustafa Atef, going through the tribunal, finding him
dead in his cell, tracking
the money trail to Russia and back, chasing Al Queda operatives through
Afghanistan, and pursuing Kabir Atef, God knows I needed one.
It’s not often I get to really leave my work behind. Usually if I have time off
I stay home simply because I travel so much for my job. When I do have
those rare days off, I don’t really know what to do with myself and usually end
up working anyway.
This time I decided to try something different, some *place* different.
Someplace tropical, the very
remote Beachcomber Resort to be exact.
I picked a resort with private bungalows over the water, a decent restaurant,
and just enough organized activities so that I could have a solitary vacation,
anticipating the other guests would participate in the daytime beach volleyball
games and snorkeling trips, and the evening competitions of charades and
Karaoke.
I chose the resort very carefully, completing research on just about every
destination possibility. No one in our files had ever been to the
Beachcomber, and the background checks on the staff were clear too. Just
to be extra sure I could completely relax and have a shot at letting my guard
down while I was there, I even checked out the other guests.
Only one of them raised a red flag -- an elementary school teacher from the DC
area. But I decided that the chances of encountering her were slim, and I
was sure I could easily avoid her. So I did my best to let it slide from
my thoughts as I went home to finish packing and get some decent sleep in
preparation for my long flights the next day.
~ Day One ~ Let’s Get Away From It All
//MAC//
It was an exhausting cross-country flight, followed by a brutally long passage
over the Pacific. I had opted not to spend the extra money for first or
even business class, so I was crammed into economy. The take home pay for
a Marine lawyer, even a Lieutenant Colonel, isn’t that lucrative.
After suffering those long hours in the air, half of which were spent firmly
declining the overt passes
made at me by nearly every member of the Queensland baseball team – who were on
the last leg of a South Pacific tournament tour – I was anxious to arrive at my
destination.
And 2 hours, 33 minutes, and 54 seconds after getting off the plane, I was just
about ready to show my cab driver exactly what a Marine could do to a guy when
he not only gets lost on the way to the *one* resort on this side of the island,
but makes his passenger change the tire by the side of the skinny two lane road.
So finally, after 3 hours, 22 minutes and 4 seconds, I checked into the
Beachcomber Resort.
//WEBB//
Traveling in first class as always, I arrived at the Beachcomber feeling quite
fresh, considering the
number of hours I’d spent in transit. But upon seeing the lobby, crawling
with conch shells and tropical drinks with little umbrellas, I felt myself start
to cringe and wish I hadn’t come.
I took a deep breath, reminding myself that this was exactly why I was here – it
was the very last place anyone would expect to find Clayton Webb:
someplace invitingly tacky and totally anonymous.
I proceeded to the registration desk and checked in as “Cabby Welton,” an
airline pilot from Seattle anxious to get away from the rain, and headed to my
bungalow to begin my v-, va-, va-, *vacation*.
There, I’d said it. Vacation.
~ Day Two ~ Brick House
//MAC//
I was so relieved to finally get to the Beachcomber that I went directly to my
bungalow on the water and hit the sack. I racked up 11 hours, 43 minutes,
and 13 seconds of sleep before regaining some semblance of consciousness at
0739, and 44 seconds.
It was the sound of the water that woke me up. A gentle lapping, reminding
me that I was far away from JAG, and didn’t have to spare one thought to a
certain Navy Commander, or wonder how I was going to try some Petty Officer’s
dereliction of duty case.
I’d even managed to unload most of my cases on Singer, which gave me an extra
reason to feel chipper in the sunny tropical morning.
Starving from my long night’s sleep, I headed for the Beachcomber’s restaurant,
taking in the soft scent of the ocean, the lush scenery, and loving the feel of
the moist air on my bare legs.
I dined on a hearty breakfast and was joined by Mitzi and Bob Walker from
Conway, Arkansas who were just delighted to meet Mary Layton the elementary
school teacher from DC.
I was having fun with my alter ego and went so far as to make up a long story,
sure to elicit their southern sympathy, that involved leaving my no-good fiancée
once and for all, looking for independence and relaxation in the South Pacific.
I told them I was spending my first day at the beach and watched with amusement
as they exchanged furtive glances before reminding me that the beach was
topless. I informed them that I would get all the more satisfaction out of
the trip knowing that it would drive my ex- fiancée crazy if I were sunbathing
topless, so I was planning on “baring it all” once I hit the sand.
I know men appreciate my figure – although my own feelings about my size have
run the gamut from
pubescent embarrassment, to a false sense of teenage empowerment, to young adult
resentment, and finally, womanly acceptance that my breasts are just one part of
who I am -- always remembering that US Marine is another part. So I knew I
was going to elicit a leer from Bob with my whole “can’t wait to go topless, tee
hee” routine.
I wasn’t disappointed either; Bob gave me an appreciative once-over just before
Mitzi dragged him
out the door headed for town and souvenir shopping.
Looking forward to my solitary day in the sun, I ordered an extra large
non-alcoholic orange-passion-mango juice and arranged to have it brought to me
on the beach in 45 minutes. I knew I’d make it there in just 37 minutes
and 12 seconds, but I wanted some time to get settled before my drink
arrived.
Arriving at the beach, I staked out a spot halfway between the palm-lined
backdrop and the clear blue water. Looking around at the honeymooning
Japanese couple, and the retired, overly sun burnt, and very wrinkled
Argentinean husband and wife, I shrugged and thought to myself, “Why not?
I don’t know these people, they don’t know me, and I’ll never see them again.”
I wouldn’t drop my top in Australia because I didn’t want Mic to think I was
doing it for him. This time I was going to do it just for me.
I untied the strings, took my bikini top off, and slathered on the sunscreen,
which I found to be an
oddly erotic and arousing act. Rubbing my own breasts with the cool cream
while feeling the tropical sun beating down on me, totally exposed and out in
open, was really quite sensual.
So while I sat back and dozed on and off for 57 minutes and 26 seconds, I let my
mind wander over the possibilities of a secret island rendezvous. After
all, a woman has needs; and out here, far from home and work, a modern woman
should feel free to give herself over to a vacation fling.
I just needed to find the right candidate.
After my arousing naptime dreams, I needed a quick dip in the water to cool off.
The ocean was soothing, and invigorating all at the same time and I’m not sure
it did much to calm my increasing libido.
Dipping my head in the water one last time to slick back my hair, I walked
slowly back to my towel,
relishing the feel of the sand between my toes and the sense of freedom I was
feeling in the remote paradise.
Back on my towel, as I was reaching for my book, I saw his shadow make its way
across my field of vision. And I heard his distinctive voice before I had
a chance to look up.
“Well, well, well, Mac … you really do appear to be that 36-24-36 ‘brick house’
I always knew you were.”
Webb.
Somehow it didn’t surprise me to see him here. He has a way of turning up.
But I mentally cursed him for sneaking up on me, and what kind of an opening
line was that?
I sat up with a start, ready to show him just what damage this “brick house”
could do. But whatever
malice I had winding up inside me was immediately replaced with complete
amusement and barely suppressed laughter.
As I got to my knees, ready to deliver the body blow, I found myself face to
face with Webb himself. And when I say “Webb himself,” I mean Webb
*himself*. If you know what I mean.
There *he* was, right at eye level, wearing -- no let me re-phrase that –
*poured into* an electric blue Speedo.
“Well, well, well yourself Webb,” I snickered.
After what I think was an attempt to put his hands in his non existent pants’
pockets, or it could have been a half-hearted attempt to cover himself, Webb
crossed his arms defiantly.
“And just what would the CIA’s Assistant Deputy Director for
‘Wherever-It-Is-These-Days’ be doing at the Beachcomber Resort dressed in …
that,” I said, getting to my feet and starting to enjoy this turning of the
tables.
He may have caught me off guard and, well okay, let’s just say it … *topless*.
But in what Webb was wearing, there was nearly nothing left to the imagination,
and he might as well have been more naked than I was.
Even though I was keenly aware that my breasts were very much in full view, I
could tell that under that cool Webb exterior, so uniquely Webb in his arrogant
posture, he was struggling to maintain his superiority – and to not ogle my
breasts.
That’s when I knew I had the upper hand, and I decided to play it to the
fullest. Besides, I was kind of enjoying what I was seeing of Webb.
Not that I’d ever thought of him *that* way before, but you can’t but help
consider the possibilities when a man is standing before you with only about an
eighth of a yard of tight, stretchy fabric masking the “full monty.”
And what a “full” monty it was too. I’m not one to usually go around
checking out what’s in men’s pants, but there was no denying what Webb had to
offer.
As for the rest of him, it was hard to see his chest behind his defensively
crossed arms, but the toned
biceps, lower abs, and fine line of hair leading south were certainly appealing.
As we resumed our banter, I wondered if the tropical air had some kind of
pheromones in it, because between getting turned on while applying my own
sunscreen and checking out Webb, I was feeling some kind of sexual charge
between us that I couldn’t quite understand.
//WEBB//
I slept fitfully the first night in my bungalow. I had strange dreams
about Mustafa Atef and being aboard the Seahawk, and my mother telling me to
pack clean underwear, and AJ Chegwidden punching me over and over. So I
took advantage of my vacation situation and slept in as restful slumber finally
came to me at about 7am.
By 10:30, the bright sunlight coming in through the bungalow’s plentiful windows
was enough to draw me out of my sleep. That, and the incessant chirping of
some tropical, and no doubt brightly feathered, creature.
I took a quick shower and grabbed some fruit for breakfast from the restaurant’s
buffet before starting a long walk around the property.
I told myself it was part of the relaxation I was supposed to be experiencing.
But I knew I was casing
the Beachcomber for hiding places, weak points of defense, unexpected guests,
and to observe the
workings of the resort to file away “just in case.”
I was also mentally checking off the guests I knew would be there: I heard
the manager say that the
Walkers from Arkansas had gone into town; I spotted Bart and Inger Hallstad with
an unfamiliar tinge of jealousy as they laughed and kissed intimately, eagerly
crossing back to their bungalow; and Nick and Mike, the computer programmer
twins from Northern California, were joking and renting snorkeling gear.
With just a few more guests to check off, I told myself I could really begin to
loosen up as soon as I
confirmed their presence.
Making my way along the swimming beach on the Beachcomber’s property, I spotted
Kyoji and Machiko Arakawa, honeymooning from Japan, and Julio and Beatriz
Quintana from Argentina.
At the far end of the beach I could see the final guest on my list, Mary Layton,
the schoolteacher from
DC. She was walking back to her spot in the sand after a swim in the
water, topless.
“Um-hmmm,” I mumbled appreciatively. If only I’d had teachers like
*that* in school…
Enjoying the view, I was contemplating moving in for a closer look, but ended up
craning my neck and squinting hard in disbelief as the recognition hit me. Then
I squinted hard at myself as I realized that if I didn’t think fast, it would be
Mac who’d be getting a closer look at *me*.
I’m used to working undercover in Europe and all over the world. And in
many of those places, the men wear Speedos. If I wore giant American
swimming trunks while on assignment, my cover would have been blown a thousand
times.
So, while I’m normally pretty comfortable in a pair of skimpy, tight Speedos, I
all of a sudden felt very exposed in them -- or rather, the lack of them.
Wearing Speedos while undercover or among people I didn’t know was one thing,
wearing them in front of Mac was another thing entirely.
In light of that fact, I hastily decided that it was better to go on the
offensive and approach her first,
before she realized I was here -- and in a Speedo.
I picked up my pace and reached her just as she was about to resume reading her
book, “Women of the Marine Corps Who Hurt The Men They Love, and the Men Who
Love Them.” I suppressed a snort as I delivered my opening line.
“Well, well, well, Mac…you really do appear to be that 36-24-36 ‘brick house’ I
always knew you were.”
I couldn’t resist. I had taken an educated guess at her size when I bought
that dress for her to wear to the Sudanese Embassy party. But it had been
my little inside joke to use the measurements from the Commodore’s song when
she’d challenged me that day in Admiral Chegwidden’s office.
But believe me, that lady *is* stacked, and that’s a fact. On that beach,
without her bikini top, she was definitely “holding nothin’ back.”
I think I underestimated her though because she was up in a split second, ready
to commence some kind of Marine assault. Then she got this funny look on
her face and I realized that what ever advantage I’d had in approaching her
first was gone as soon as she’d gotten to her knees, face to face with my, um,
*self*.
I started to put my hands in my pockets, but had to recover my error by just
crossing my arms in front of me like a certain Navy Commander. ‘Great,’ I
thought to myself, ‘now I’m channeling Rabb.’
I tried my best to forget the stark facts of my attire and concentrated on
exuding confidence, reminding myself that Mac should be the embarrassed one,
standing there bare-breasted.
But all I succeeded in doing was reminding myself that
she was standing there *bare-breasted*.
She threw a few sarcastic lines back at me. I
swallowed hard and said lamely, “Stealing someone’s
identity is a federal offence, you know.”
She smiled coolly and told me about her plan to “get
away from it all,” which she pointed out wasn’t all
that different than what I was doing.
And so I stood there like an awkward teenager, as she
animatedly and confidently raved about the
Beachcomber. She was practically jumping up and down,
with her breasts moving freely and frequently in front
of me, and I knew she knew exactly what she was doing.
I kept my arms crossed tight and thought about my
taxes, and interrogating prisoners, and baseball
statistics, although I really couldn’t tell you a damn
thing about baseball. I was desperate for something
analytical to occupy my blood flow lest I embarrass
myself further.
But it was all I could do to keep my eyes on her face
and not let them wander lustfully down her neck, past
her throat to her smooth, round breasts.
By the time we said our farewells and agreed to stay
out of each other’s way, I had my mind made up. This
was war. If she was trying to elicit a response out
of me as some kind of payback for interrupting her
vacation and seeing her bare-chested, I swore she’d
soon see who was the master of mind games.
~ Night Two ~ The Great Pretender
//MAC//
While Webb and I left our ocean-side stand off
agreeing to steer clear of each other, I couldn’t help
but feel like we’d only just begun. I knew I’d made
him uncomfortable, and knowing Webb, I suspected he
wasn’t going to let it go that easily.
That night I ate in my bungalow, watching the sunset
by myself, and I felt really glad to be away from
Washington and the pressures of life and work there.
In spite of my Webb encounter, I was feeling more
relaxed than I had in years. And maybe because of my
run-in with Webb, I was feeling energized and
confident. I’d stood my ground and felt that I had
won the upper hand.
While I’d been confident of my skills as a Marine and
as a lawyer for years, I knew I still had issues with
relationships, and with men in general. As much as
I’d have liked to think I was comfortable with my body
and my womanhood, years of bad choices beginning too
young of an age gave me enough self-knowledge to
realize that my issues were more about me than about
the men I picked -- or rather, the men I let pick me.
I concluded that the choices I’d made in the past few
years were rarely about me, and more often about
others making choices for me. Mic choosing that I
marry him. Harm choosing that we not explore the
feelings between us.
So on my remote Pacific island, feeling confident and
emotionally balanced, this Marine wasn’t going to shy
away from anyone or anything anymore. I was ready to
be the one to do the choosing in my life.
“Bring it on,” I said out loud.
Charged up with my newfound energy and confidence, I
changed into a short breezy skirt and halter-top, and
walked in the balmy evening to resort’s main building.
As I passed the patio area that overlooked the water I
could hear Derek, the activities director, announcing
the evening’s group activity – Karaoke.
I smiled, challenging myself to join in. After all,
this was the first night of the rest of my life, and I
was positive Webb wouldn’t be caught dead there, so I
stepped in and took a seat at a small table with Bob
and Mitzi, who smiled big southern smiles as I joined
them.
Derek waved at me with his friendly “cruise director”
smile, and I realized that I was stuck whether or not
I wanted to be there, so I sat back to enjoy the show;
there was no backing out now.
First up was Inger, whose strange song choice of “Me
and Mrs. Jones” turned out to be surprisingly good,
and I wondered if she and Bart were perhaps at the
Beachcomber having an affair. When she finished, we
all clapped and shouted supportively. I looked around
the room when I heard an all too familiar voice
hollering his praises, “Bravo!”
Webb.
“Damn him. He’s everywhere,” I muttered under my
breath.
“What’s that hon?” Mitzi leaned over and questioned.
I didn’t reply right away, as I found myself locked in
a staring contest with Webb. There was no way I was
leaving. If he was uncomfortable, he’d have to vacate
this vacation.
As Webb and I continued our war of wills, Mitzi
followed my gaze and answered her own question, “Ohhh,
Cabby Welton? He *is* good looking isn’t he?”
“Excuse me?” I said breaking contact with Webb, as I
turned to face Mitzi.
“You were staring at Cabby. He’s an airline pilot
from Seattle, you know. Really a very charming young
man. And judging from the way he was staring back at
you, I’d say he’s just as interested in you, as you
seem to be in him!”
“Um…no, really. I was just thinking he looked like
someone I know from home. I’m not interested.”
“Mitzi can spot love a mile away. She’s set up 5
happy couples in Conway – she’s a regular matchmaker,”
Bob interjected.
Before I had a chance to protest further, we were
subjected to a truly strange rendition of “Blue
Velvet” by Nick, which was followed by “I Got You
Babe” sung by the Quintanas.
Through each song, I was well aware of Webb’s location
in the room -- or “Cabby,” or what ever he was calling
himself. Clad in well-pressed khaki shorts and an
open light blue short sleeved shirt, he was smugly
perched on the low wall that bordered the patio, just
on the edge of the activities, watching. ‘Typical,’ I
thought.
And every time I looked over at him, he was looking
right back at me, with that intense CIA stare. I
wondered if he was picturing me topless.
Well if he was, I didn’t care. In fact, part of me
was hoping that’s exactly what he was doing. Because
I knew if he was picturing me topless, he had to know
that I was mentally undressing him down to his Speedo,
and beyond.
I glanced over again at the end of Mitzi and Bob’s
“You’re The One That I Want” from Grease, and Webb was
gone. Just as I was craning my neck around to see how
he’d managed to slip away, I felt something brush my
shoulder.
A masculine hand, with soft sinewy fingers swept
across my bare skin, leaving a tingling trail where
he’d touched me.
Webb.
‘Damn, he keeps sneaking up like that,’ I mentally
cursed.
“This one’s for you, Ma--, um Mary.”
~ Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it, out of sight~
~Ya know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, oh, wears old MacHeath, babe
So there’s never, never a trace of red ~
He proceeded to do a dead-on impression of Bobby
Darin’s “Mack the Knife,” making sure to put extra
emphasis on the “Mack” parts, of course.
I was floored. Who knew Webb could sing, much less
*swing*?
~Now on the sidewalk, ooh sunny morning
Lies a body, just oozin’ life
And someone’s sneakin’ ‘round the corner
Could that someone be Mack the Knife?~
As he sang, Webb worked his way around the room like a
professional lounge lizard, charming the Japanese
honeymooners, and making Mitzi blush and giggle as he
just about sat in her lap.
~There's a tugboat, down by the river don’tcha know
Where a cement bag’s just drooppin’ on down
Oh, that cement is just, it's there for the weight,
dear
Five'll get ya ten old Macky’s back in town~
~Now did you hear ‘bout Louie Miller? He disappeared,
babe
After drawin' out all his hard-earned cash
And now MacHeath spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy's done somethin’ rash?~
The whole time though, his attention was on me. I
felt like he was singing just for me, moving his body
with the music for my sole benefit.
I figured is was some kind of CIA secret weapon, to
project your energy at someone like that, leaving the
rest of the room with the impression you’re just a
regular guy from Seattle singing some Karaoke.
~Now Jenny Diver, yeah, Sukey Tawdry
Ooh, Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
Oh, the line forms on the right, babe
Now that Macky’s back in town~
~I said Jenny Diver, whoa, Sukey Tawdry
Look out to Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
Yes, that line forms on the right, babe
Now that Macky’s back in town…
Look out, old Macky is back~
Webb’s been surprising all of us for years. I’d
learned not to be startled by his hidden talents, but
singing wasn’t one I’d have ever guessed. He even
sang some of the lines in Spanish as he passed the
Quintanas’ table. Show off.
Just like in the Marines, determination and focus are
results of intense CIA training, but it seemed to come
naturally with Webb. And finding myself at the center
of that kind of attention, even if it was with
mischievous intent, was unexpectedly adding to the
heady excitement I was feeling.
So I upped the ante, and for the second time that day
I did something out of character for this Marine, and
certainly out of character for Miss Mary Layton … I
stepped up to take the mic.
//WEBB//
While Mac was mentally undressing me on the beach –
not that there was far to go, I’d decided that two
could play that game. Not the undressing part,
although that had its merits as well, but this mental
power-trip game. Having her show up at Karaoke
though, was pure luck.
I’d had a pleasant dinner with Julio and Beatriz and
was warming to the idea of a night of fruity drinks
and bad Karaoke. It was something I’d never normally
do, but isn’t that what vacation is all about? I
think the humidity and sun were starting to go to my
head.
I saw Mac a full 10 minutes before she saw me. So I
again felt like I would have the upper hand. And over
the next half hour, I poured all my energy into making
her well aware of my presence. I wanted to make her
think I was still flabbergasted by her earlier display
of flesh, giving me an extra advantage for what I had
planned.
She didn’t have to know I really *was* still thinking
about her exposed skin. Skin that I would swear I
could feel the heat radiating from while we verbally
sparred on the beach.
But I was counting on an element of surprise as I
picked “Mack the Knife” to sing, smirking proudly to
myself at my musical pun. Feeling emboldened, I
lightly brushed her shoulder as I passed by her chair.
I wasn’t sure what affect it had on her, but I could
feel the warmth from her flesh on my fingertips long
after I’d touched her. Spurred on by this new
sensation and feeling a little angry for letting her
get to me that way, I threw myself into my
performance.
My confidence grew as I sang, and I did my best to
hold her attention while attending to the rest of the
audience, turning up the charm all the way.
I returned to my seat, to the cheers of my fellow
island dwellers, “Go Cabby!” And I was pretty well
satisfied that my mission was accomplished.
I’d made it through the song and from the half dazed,
half angry look on Mac’s face during my number, I knew
she’d felt me concentrating my energy on her as I
worked the room.
Taking my seat again, I didn’t see Mac pick up the
microphone, but my head snapped immediately forward to
meet her eyes as the twang of the guitar began.
~There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow~
~Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name~
“Funny, very funny,” I tried to ESP to her.
But she was projecting something back at me, “War.
This is war.”
After the incident at the camp in Afghanistan, I
should have known what she was capable of. Not
cracking in even that kind of situation – she really
is all Marine.
And right on cue, as if to refute my assertion, she
dipped her torso low and forward in my direction as
she delivered a line to Nick and Mike, reminding me
that she can also be all woman.
All of a sudden, playing these games with Mac took on
a whole different air. I should have felt it sneaking
up on me when I couldn’t get my mind off seeing her on
the beach, and wanting to touch her as I’d walked past
earlier.
That clinched it. They’d put something in my drink.
Not only was I staring to enjoy this flirting game, I
was almost forgetting that I was an over worked,
highly stressed, wound-tight-as-a-clock CIA agent.
But I had to admit, it felt good.
~Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Oh, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow~
~Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name~
During the musical bridge, Mac made her way around the
room, playing to her audience much the way I had. And
she stopped to pay special attention to Bob, as I had
done with Mitzi.
‘Those poor people, caught in the middle of our little
game,’ I chuckled to myself.
Then she got bold and stopped in front of me, nearly
giving me a lap dance. ‘God, they must have put
something in her drink too,’ I thought.
But I loved every second if it. Feeling my body react
and my shorts tighten across my crotch, it was all I
could do not to reach for her waist and pull her to
me.
It was getting difficult to remember who’d started
this little game, and hard to tell where the posturing
and toying ended and the serious stuff began. It was
clear though, the rules had changed. This was more
than good-natured one-upsmanship in revenge for who’d
crashed whose vacation.
~Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name~
~Swingin' on the Riviera one day
And then layin' in the Bombay alley next day
Oh no, you let the wrong word slip
While kissing persuasive lips
The odds are you won't live to see tomorrow~
~Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name~
I left quickly after her number to give my head a
shake in an attempt to clear my mind. What was I
thinking? How had this happened?
I didn’t know whether to be flattered and completely
turned on, or furious because of the way she was
toying with me. All I knew was that I very much liked
being her toy, if tonight’s performance was an
indication of how she’d play with me.
My senses were heightened by her attentions and my
body, feeling relaxed under the tropical influence,
was reacting to hers in a most appealing way. I just
didn’t want to make a fool of myself if I called her
bluff. But damn, I wanted her.
~ Day Three ~ For Your Eyes Only
//MAC//
I don’t know what got into me, but once I stood up to
sing, I really got into the performance; and I really
got into my little game with Webb.
But whatever the game we thought we were playing had
all of a sudden taken on a very different feel. A
little Bobby Darin, and 3 minutes and 8 seconds of a
television theme song were enough to change
everything.
Being far from home, feeling emotionally strong, and
sexually deprived for many months was driving my
newfound confidence. And that confidence was bringing
out a side to my sexuality I wasn’t familiar with; a
free-spiritedness I wasn’t exactly sure how to handle.
I thought it probably had something to do with the
sensual way the island’s surroundings seem to
constantly caress you. With so much skin exposed all
the time, you can’t help but be more aware of your
body. And the softness of the sand, the sea, and the
air had my body reacting in ways I hadn’t expected.
So after sleeping soundly between several rather
involved and graphic dreams featuring Webb in -- but
mostly out of -- his Speedo, I woke up refreshed and
anxious to see what surprises the day would bring.
Slightly disappointed that I didn’t run into Webb at
breakfast, I made a last minute decision to join the
snorkeling trip out to a far part of the reef.
The spell of the previous night and my wet dreams
about Webb were beginning to fade a little. Maybe all
our flirting had just been in my head and I was really
making a fool of myself.
Dashing back to my bungalow to get ready, I quickly
donned my bikini, wrapped my sarong around my waist,
grabbed my beach bag, and ran to catch the boat.
I made it down the dock just in time, and was the last
one aboard. Holding my arm, Derek helped me onto the
boat, swinging me around into the last available seat.
“Nice of you to join us Miss Layton.”
Webb.
My insides jumped at the sound of his voice. It was
low, almost a caress, but tinged with that trademark
Webb sarcasm.
‘Yep,’ I thought, ‘I must have been making up whatever
vibe I thought was between us last night.’
I did my best to ignore him, flirting heavily with
Nick and Mike as we motored out to the reef. In
return for my efforts, Webb snubbed me entirely and
turned on his charisma for the others.
Turned out, Webb’s an expert on tropical fish, and he
made himself indispensable to our fellow snorkelers
during the morning’s excursion.
Looking as natural as could be in his Speedo, unlike
at our meeting yesterday, I watched him as he was all
confidence and ease, narrating on about the local fish
and reef ecosystem.
Maybe things were weird today, but I was finding this
side of Webb, well … nice. He was downright charming,
in fact. Yet another surprise from Webb.
I began to think that as long as we were going to be
stuck together, maybe we could get along enough to
have an okay time on our respective vacations.
We stopped for lunch on what wasn’t much more than a
sandbar with a smattering of trees and vegetation
lining the center. With time to spare after we ate, I
walked along the white sand beach, making a loop
around the tiny island.
Almost back to where the boat was moored, I spotted
Webb on the beach, staring out at the ocean. This
time I was going to be the one sneaking up on him.
“You waiting for Pussy Galore to come out of the water
to help you battle Dr. No?”
“Pussy Galore was in ‘Goldfinger.’ Honey Ryder was in
‘Dr. No,’” he answered without turning around.
“I’m impressed Webb. You do know your spy movies.” I
teased good-naturedly.
We seemed to have reached some sort of detente.
“You going to go topless again today?” he queried,
turning quickly to face me.
“Is that a request?” I asked, raising my eyebrows
high, thinking, ‘God, the irony...’
Only this time, the answer was far different. The man
was far different.
“Yes.”
//WEBB//
I thought for sure Mac would be back on the beach
today or headed into town to shop. So I decided to
indulge in two of my long-time hobbies -- snorkeling
and free diving. Despite what some James Bond movies
might lead you to believe, they’re not activities a
spy gets to engage in often.
Although I was surprised to see Mac running for the
boat, I again had the advantage of seeing her before
she saw me.
As she came down the dock, I thought maybe I was glad
to see her because I was looking forward to playing
Cabby, who for all outward appearances had a good
chance of scoring with “Mary,” as Bob suggested to me
last night. But I found myself wanting to share my
passion for the sea with her, and looking forward to
just being in her company, which I was unexpectedly
desiring.
“Nice of you to join us Miss Layton.”
I meant it to come out soft and low, and didn’t intend
the snide edge my words had. Once I’d said it, I saw
her posture change and knew she was having serious
doubts about whatever chemistry was between us last
night. All of a sudden so was I.
I didn’t want to spend the day playing with Mac the
way we’d played with each other last night. It was
too exhausting, and too confusing.
After fantasizing about undressing Mac out of that
short skirt and halter-top for half the night, I woke
up with sticky sheets and another erection, but felt
foolish for allowing my hormones get the better of me.
I started to feel panicky. What had I been thinking –
flirting with her like that? What was *she* thinking
coming on to me that way? I needed to clear my head.
Or maybe that was the problem. Maybe my head was
clearer than ever before. The tropics and the time
off were sure doing a number on me.
I was suddenly unsure of how to interact with Mac.
And was more anxious than before to get out onto the
ocean and into the water.
There’s a whole world under the water and it’s such a
rare treat to be a part of it. The way the salt water
buoys you, and takes you in; no spies, no espionage,
just you and the fish. It’s very grounding and
calming.
Keeping up the charade of Cabby Welton the airline
pilot, and I would have been free to interact with
Mac. But my poorly delivered greeting ruined any
chance of that. Mac repaid the gesture by batting her
eyes and leaning over a little too far while she
chatted with Nick and Mike.
Sighing to myself, I tried to concentrate on enjoying
the fish and the people. I really am a people person.
I just don’t have the luxury in my job of socializing
much or letting my guard down. So I was enjoying
sharing my passion for the ocean with the others.
After lunch, I walked along the shore, pausing to gaze
out at the endless blue ocean before me, imagining the
teeming life below the surface, both unaware of the
troubles in the human world, and in places, ultimately
threatened by our presence.
“You waiting for Pussy Galore to come out of the water
to help you battle Dr. No?” she said as she stood
behind me.
I had known for about a minute that someone was
watching me. I should have guessed it was Mac.
Obviously some cosmic force was drawing us together
out here in the middle of the ocean.
“Pussy Galore was in ‘Goldfinger.’ Honey Ryder was in
‘Dr. No,’” I said simply without turning.
“I’m impressed Webb. You do know your spy movies,”
she said lightly.
I hadn’t planned on flirting with her, but I guess I
figured that since things appeared to be softening
between us, I’d throw caution to the wind. So I took
a deep breath and spun around, “You going to go
topless again today?”
“Is that a request?” she countered, sounding playful
but ready to continue our verbal sparring from
yesterday.
I couldn’t quite keep eye contact while I said it, but
I answered honestly, “Yes.”
Slowly raising my eyes to meet hers, I watched her
expression shift from surprise to something softer.
My insides tightened and I imagined myself stepping
forward to kiss her. But before either of us had a
chance to react to the situation, Derek called out.
It was time to return to the boat.
We rode back to the Beachcomber in an awkward silence,
each either making small talk with the other
passengers, or lost in our own thoughts looking out at
the water surrounding us.
~ Night Three ~ La Cumparsita
//MAC//
Exhausted from being in the sun and water most of the
day, I took a long nap, showered, and threw on a
light, strappy sundress before going to dinner. As I
showered, I reviewed the day’s events in my mind.
My second chance-meeting on the beach with Webb in as
many days had left me perplexed. I was caught off
guard when he asked if I was going to go topless
again. I suppose I knew I was flirting when I asked
if he was making a request; but I never expected him
to say yes.
I’d swear we were about to have a “moment” when Derek
came to find us. There’d been a palpable tension
running between us and I wasn’t sure how it would have
resolved if we hadn’t been interrupted. I wasn’t sure
how I *wanted* it to resolve.
This was getting as confusing as my non-relationship
relationship with Harm. And that’s what I came here
to get away from. I sighed and wondered what’d
happened to the confidence and sense of freedom I’d
had the night before. As I dressed, I felt determined
to reclaim those feelings, Webb or no Webb.
I walked down the beach path to the restaurant just in
time for a late dinner. After eating fresh mahi-mahi,
thinking that Harm would be proud of my healthy meal
choice, I found myself feeling a bit lonely. So when
I heard the music as I left the restaurant, it piqued
my interest.
Dancing is like a great work out. The activity is
really good for you – physically and emotionally. I
thought it was just what I needed to reclaim my
vacation mindset.
Again, Derek was set up as “DJ” out on the patio and
there were several people out on the dance floor. It
looked like a mini-disco, complete with flashing
lights and a mirror-ball. I smiled and waved at Bob
and Mitzi doing the Macarena dance moves, even though
“My Girl” was playing on the sound system.
Nick and Mike were standing on the sidelines like
wallflowers, so I asked them both to dance; you’d have
thought I was propositioning them by the way they
reacted, which was great for my ego.
We danced to everything from Sinatra to KC and the
Sunshine Band, ABBA to the Temptations, even a little
Cheap Trick -- with Bob and Mitzi boogie-ing right
along with us. I was starting to have a really good
time.
Just as “YMCA” came on, I excused myself, telling Nick
and Mike I needed a breather. On my way to the bar
for some water, I spotted a now familiar figure
standing in the shadows.
Webb.
‘Jeez, doesn’t that guy ever make a regular entrance?’
I thought.
I managed to stay out of his line of sight, standing
behind a large tropical plant, sipping my water, and
watching him.
He appeared much as he did last night, in neat khaki
pants and a loose fitting short-sleeved shirt -- count
on Webb to always look just right for the occasion.
And he looked refreshed, like he’d had a shower; his
hair was wet and his face freshly shaven.
But his stance was awkward, which didn’t really
surprise me. It was hard to imagine Clayton Webb
feeling comfortable at anything other than a formal
ball. Although I’d heard rumors about the tango.
I saw Beatriz Quintana walk up to him, and tried to
eavesdrop as they proceeded to have what looked like a
friendly conversation, but I was too far away. She
left him briefly, spoke to Derek for a moment who
replied with a nod, and she returned to Webb just as
the music started.
Webb and Mrs. Quintana proceeded to do the most erotic
dance. I guessed it was some kind of Argentine tango,
and their performance appeared flawless to my
untrained eye. If the Lambada was the “forbidden
dance,” what they were doing should have been a
federal crime.
The intricate footwork and sensuous steps were
passionate and intense. With her legs intertwining in
and out of his, Mrs. Quintana lunged with one leg
wrapped high around Webb’s, bringing their groins
together in close contact.
I began to imagine what it would feel like to be in
that position with Webb -- although I was picturing us
in a much more private setting. My face flushed with
the idea and I could feel a heat melting down through
me.
I don’t know much about ballroom dance, but I guessed
he was the consummate partner – expertly using his
body and attitude to guide her. His strong hands and
confident posture communicating to his partner how to
move, telling her just what he wanted. Muscles and
limbs alternately pushing and pulling to elicit the
desired effect. Just thinking about it aroused me
even more.
The rest of the dance floor was empty as we all
watched their sensual, yet not quite sexual,
performance. I was utterly mesmerized and couldn’t
stop thinking about how his hand had felt brushing
against my skin the previous night.
Even though it was a simple touch of his fingers
across my shoulder, I was now driven to distraction
with curiosity -- how would his hands feel on other
parts of me? What would they would feel like guiding
my body to move in time with his?
As Webb and Mrs. Quintana stepped through their tango,
I wondered if Mr. Quintana had a hot temper, because
what his wife and Webb were doing would have driven
some husbands to violence.
I scanned the room, briefly concerned for Webb’s
health, anticipating the possible need to step between
them as punches flew. But I spotted Mr. Quintana next
to the bar with the Hallstads, watching with wrapped
appreciation and attention as he pointed out the finer
points of the dance to Bart and Inger. Webb didn’t
need my protection after all.
When the music finally ended I was still flushed and
breathing a little heavier than normal. Gulping the
last of my water down as the regular dance music
resumed, I chuckled to myself as Hot Chocolate’s “I
Believe in Miracles” came on. If I told anyone back
at JAG what I’d seen and how it had affected me,
they’d have thought *that* was a miracle.
Just a few days prior I would have concurred; but
strange as it was, I could think of no sexier thing
than Clayton Webb.
~I believe in miracles
Where you from you sexy thing
I believe in miracles
Since you came along you sexy thing~
Giddy from watching him dance and the effect it’d had
on me, I walked right up to Webb, who had his back to
me as he drained a glass of water.
“Hey, you ‘sexy thing,’” I said
He whipped around nearly choking on his drink. I
couldn’t help grinning wide at my bold statement and
the way it’d caught him completely by surprise.
~Where did you come from baby
How did you know I needed you
How did you know I needed you so badly
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people
Now you're lying close to me making love to me~
“Mac,” he said flatly as he recovered.
“Mary,” I reminded him, “Nice show *Cabby*.”
“Yeah, who’d have thought a regular guy from Seattle
could do the tango?” he shrugged arrogantly.
‘Ahhh, there’s the Webb we’re all familiar with,’ I
thought.
“Who’d have thought a regular *Company man* could do
the tango?” I countered, trying to recapture the
rhythm of banter we’d had earlier on the beach as I
examined his face, which was flushed with the effort
of dancing, a fine sweat glistening on his skin.
He glanced around making sure no one had caught my CIA
reference, and then unexpectedly smiled warmly at me.
Maybe he had sensed my appreciation for yet another
surprising Webb talent. His expression made my
insides warm all over again as I wondered what other
talents he might have hidden away that I might
discover.
~I believe in miracles
Where you from you sexy thing
I believe in miracles
Since you came along you sexy thing~
~Kiss me, you sexy thing
Touch me baby, you sexy thing
I love the way you touch me darlin’, you sexy thing
You're sexy, you sexy thing~
“I just hope you don’t dance like that with your
mother,” I teased.
“You’re just jealous I wasn’t dancing that way with
*you*,” he said smirking devilishly and leaning closer
to me. With him so near, I could feel the heat coming
off his body. It was wonderfully distracting.
Taking in a breath, I turned my head slightly and
closed my eyes for a moment, relishing his proximity
and wondering if he knew how much I really did want
him to dance with me that way, and more.
~Yesterday I was one of a lonely people
Now you're lying close to me giving it to me~
~I believe in miracles
Where you from you sexy thing, sexy thing you
I believe in miracles
Since you came along you sexy thing~
“Mac?” he said softly, leaning in closer still; I
could feel his breath on my cheek, escaping through
his parted lips as he spoke.
Opening my eyes, I angled my face back to his and was
met with a gentle but concentrated stare. I felt the
tension string between us again, like on the beach
earlier in the day. This time though, I knew how I
wanted to resolve it.
But the moment was again shattered by Derek. He
announced that Bob and Mitzi were requesting a song,
“In the hopes of encouraging a certain elementary
school teacher from the east coast to ‘warm up’ to a
nice airline pilot from Seattle.”
“Come Fly With Me” started to play. Webb and I each
took a step back from one another, muttering, “Oh
brother,” at the same time.
~Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away
If you can use some exotic booze
There's a bar in far Bombay
Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away
Come fly with me, let's float down to Peru
In lama land, there's a one man band
And he'll toot his flute for you~
We shared an almost shy smile at our mirrored thoughts
and started toward the dance floor, as we were
expected to. But the electricity in the air from just
a moment ago was gone as soon as we touched.
All of a sudden, we were Mac and Webb, antagonistic
colleagues again; stiff and awkward in this forced
social situation.
Dancing together as Mary and Cabby though, we were
expected to be warm and friendly. As the song went on
we swayed to the music, doing our best to appear
attracted to each other. Which wouldn’t have been at
all difficult a few minutes ago, but something was
different now.
With the eyes of our audience on us, Webb leaned over
and placed a soft gentle kiss on my lips. But just
like with Harm, I knew he was kissing someone else,
not me.
Webb was doing it for the benefit of the on-lookers.
I couldn’t quite place how I knew it for sure, but
something was missing in the way his lips met mine.
I wondered if it was part of his CIA training. Maybe
there was a class, “How to Kiss Someone and Not Give
Yourself Over to the Moment or Get Yourself Killed.”
I was sure that in his past there were missions where
Webb had to get physically involved. As heartless as
Webb could appear, I was also sure that over the years
he’d have learned to hold back something of himself in
those cases; to protect himself, his heart. And as
our brief kiss ended, it felt like that’s what he was
doing with me.
That kiss gave me an insight into Webb that no one
else had access to. And it was sinking in that there
was so much more to this man than he let on. It made
me sad for him in a way. But I also felt lucky to
have discovered some of the hidden parts of Webb, and
I appreciated him all the more for it.
Since running into him at the Beachcomber, I’d seen
him be embarrassed, shy, social, and playful, and he
had definitely spent some time flirting with me. I
longed to see more of this new side to Clayton Webb --
this hidden and protected side. What else was beneath
the armor of sarcasm and detached indifference that he
usually wore?
I wanted him to let his guard down, I wanted him to
let it down with me, and I wanted him to kiss me
again.
I imagined Webb’s lips on mine, not Cabby’s; and I
knew if it happened it would be Mac kissing him back,
not Mary. I inhaled and sighed softly as the image
passed through my mind. As I did, I felt his stance
relax ever so slightly in reaction. Encouraged that
I’d made a crack in his shield, I smiled to myself as
we finished our dance.
Anxious to end our “Cabby and Mary” charade, we left
the dance floor and went our separate ways as soon as
we heard the song fade-out.
I went to sit on the low stone wall at the edge of the
patio and watched as Webb quickly made his way inside.
I followed him with my eyes as long as I could, not
knowing if he was gone for the night or if he’d turn
up again, as seemed to be the pattern.
I made small talk with the Arakawas, practicing my
Japanese, and kept an eye out for Webb, wishing we
could dance again under different circumstances. Not
put on the spot to act out a romance between two
vacationing strangers, but as Mac and Webb. Where we
could be ourselves and explore this new attraction
that I was sure had been building between us.
Just as the Arakawas walked away, it was as if Webb
had read my mind. He silently appeared just behind me
to my right, almost nuzzling his nose in the hair that
was tucked behind my ear.
“Dance with me, Mac. For real this time.”
//WEBB//
I knew that Mac was watching me from behind a palm
tree when Beatriz Quintana had approached me. Beatriz
and I had talked about my dance skills and the
Argentine tango at dinner the previous night. So when
she asked me to tango with her, I was happy to oblige.
My motivations weren’t completely altruistic however.
I know the tango can be an erotic spectacle, and
seeing how Mac would react was forefront in my mind.
So, I made sure to put my all into the seductive
dance.
Beatriz turned out to be a wonderful partner. She was
confident in her steps and trusted my experience to
lead her. She also seemed game to turn up the heat,
winding her legs around mine, sliding up and down my
body at every opportunity. I thought maybe she was
trying to make Mr. Quintana jealous.
Whatever our personal motivations were, it was a
pleasure to dance with such a well-trained partner.
And when we left the dance floor, I was exhausted from
the effort and needed to re-hydrate. As I gulped down
the cool water, Mac caught me off guard.
“Hey, you ‘sexy thing.’”
Coughing and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand
as I turned around, I was met with Mac’s radiant
smile. I hoped it was an after effect of seeing me
tango with Beatirz Quintana, but I suspected it was
also a show of pride for the way she’d snuck up on me. It seemed to have become our game.
“Mac,” I stated, attempting indifference.
“Mary,” she scolded, then continued, “Nice show
*Cabby*.”
“Yeah, who’d have thought a regular guy from Seattle
could do the tango?” I shot back.
“Who’d have thought a regular *Company man* could do
the tango?”
Resuming the lines of conversational banter we were
getting in the habit of trading, I smiled back at her,
appreciating the flirtatious nature of her delivery.
“I just hope you don’t dance like that with your
mother,” she said lightly.
“You’re just jealous I wasn’t dancing that way with
*you*,” I grinned, taking the verbal opening as I
edged forward.
I suspected I’d touched on something close to the
truth because Mac averted her gaze, closed her eyes,
and turned from me.
“Mac?” I said, leaning farther toward her, hopeful
that our conversation was going where I thought it
was.
She smelled intoxicating, of fruity shampoo and
slightly salty from the ocean air and the exertion of
dancing earlier. Her proximity roused my senses, and
I could feel my body beginning to respond the in
anticipation of physical contact.
In reaction to the questioning tone in my voice, she
turned to face me again, meeting my gaze dead on. Our
faces were inches apart and I quickly glanced down at
her lips, sure we were going to kiss.
“Bob and Mitzi have asked that I play this song, in
the hopes of encouraging a certain elementary school
teacher from the east coast to ‘warm up’ to a nice
airline pilot from Seattle,” Derek announced over the
sound system.
‘Damn,’ I thought, darting my eyes away for a second.
And as “Come Fly With Me” started up, Mac and I both
backed off.
“Oh brother,” we said simultaneously.
Taking her arm, I led her to the dance floor to
appease Bob and Mitzi, and whoever else was in on the
matchmaking. But as soon as I took her in my arms,
the spell of intimacy was broken.
Playing the part of Cabby had been fun until then.
I’d enjoyed the irony of traveling as Cabby while at
the same time letting my guard down to allow more than
the usual amounts of the real Clayton Webb to come
through.
But dancing with Mac, as Cabby, was so frustrating it
almost hurt. I didn’t want to play-act with Mac. I
wanted to be the real Webb with her; to show her how
beautiful and strong and sexy Clayton Webb thought she
was, not Cabby.
The force of those feelings startled me and my guard
went up immediately. I couldn’t quite figure out when
I’d gone from being intrigued by Mac’s presence here,
to feeling simple curiosity and attraction, to that
moment on the dance floor -- when I found myself
refusing to use Cabby as a way to express my desire
for her.
If I was going to cross a physical line with Mac, I
wanted both of us to be damn sure it was Mac and Webb
doing it, not Mary and Cabby.
But knowing our dance was being scrutinized by Bob and
Mitzi, and about a dozen others, I swallowed down the
last of Clayton Webb, and forced Cabby Welton to kiss
Mary Layton.
It was a familiar gesture for me, putting on a show of
physical affection in a situation where others were
analyzing your every move. Countless missions and
many years in the field had taught me to play that
kind of charade. And early on I’d learned to keep my
feelings at bay, to distance myself from emotionally
experiencing much of anything; I’d taught myself not
to care.
You can’t care, or you’ll get yourself or others
killed, or blow the mission. And naturally,
sustaining that kind of emotional distance for intense
operations, you find yourself keeping a distance from
just about everyone and everything all the time, out
of habit.
Consistently denying your feelings is exhausting, and
so reacting to Mac the way I was made me uneasy. But
it was a reflex to shut off my emotions, an attempt to
shield myself from feeling what Clay Webb really
wanted to feel -- what I wanted Mac to feel *from* me.
Despite our physical proximity, I knew Mac sensed that
I was distancing myself. Her instincts are impressive
that way – they’re the reason she got out of that
Afghani prison camp alive. So there was no way she
wasn’t aware of what I was doing. I’d just hoped her
intuition told her why.
She exhaled a deep breath and I sensed something
melancholy from her as she almost unnoticeably leaned
into me. In response, my body melded into hers, just
as imperceptibly; I couldn’t stop myself.
And because I let that small measure of Clayton Webb
react to Sarah MacKenzie, it took all my concentration
not press into her fully, and let my body take over
completely.
In a moment though, the song ended and we parted in
opposite directions. She sat on the wall surrounding
the patio; I went inside to the restroom. I needed to
get away from her, and away from having to be Cabby.
Hundreds of missions under my belt, pretending to be
someone else, and I’ve rarely needed to escape like
that. The effect Mac was having on me was unnerving.
My blood pressure was going up and I needed to think
for a minute, to regain my composure. I splashed cold
water on my face and closed my eyes.
As I ran my wet fingers through my hair, I knew I’d
already decided that I couldn’t be anything but honest
with her about what I was feeling, even if I wasn’t
exactly sure myself.
I reasoned that there were no grounds, other than in
my own head, to deny myself the things I was desiring
from Mac. I could still be the Clay Webb I always was
on the inside, and be Cabby to the rest of the guests. Nothing would change. Except that something already
had.
Out here in the middle of this ocean, thousands of
miles from home, I’d allowed myself the rarity of
really being Clayton Webb, and I’d discovered
something about myself that I never would have
guessed.
After years of shut-down emotions and denied personal
involvements, I wanted to let down my walls. And I
wanted to do it with Mac.
I wanted Mac to know who Clayton Webb really was. I
wanted her to see the real me; the person I barely let
myself acknowledge.
Returning to the patio, I spotted Mac talking with the
Arakawas. While she was occupied in conversation, I
whispered to Derek, slipped him a twenty, and skirted
the edge of the courtyard, staying in the shadows as I
waited for her to be alone.
When Kyoji and Machiko finally said good night, I took
a breath, stepped up to her, edged my nose into the
hair behind her ear, and closed my eyes.
“Dance with me, Mac. For real this time.”
My twenty dollars didn’t go to waste. Derek started
the song just as I spoke. And I was certain I saw a
shiver travel through Mac’s body as I breathed the
words.
~I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that's where I belong
Yet I'm running to her like a river's song~
~She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love~
Unlike when we danced just a few minutes ago, this
time our bodies melted together without hesitation.
Whatever decision I’d made to let myself go, I was
making it wholeheartedly. And apparently, so was Mac.
I was hyperaware of every point of contact between us. Where her body curved out to meet mine, where my body
arced and met hers. And in the spaces between, it
felt like the air was humming.
With my arms wrapped low around her waist, she held
hers around my neck and we danced with our heads side
by side, bent together. I could feel her fingers
intermittently brushing at the edge of my collar, not
quite touching the sensitive hairs on the back of my
neck.
I so wanted to feel her hands on me. Lifting my head
to change the angle of her touch, she reflexively ran
her fingers through the ends of my hair as she finally
made contact.
I couldn’t suppress a soft “hmmm” of pleasure at her
caresses. And just from the touch of her hands on my
bare neck, blood was quickly rushing to my groin.
~She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low
down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief~
~She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love~
I exhaled unevenly, reveling in the anticipatory
electricity between us. Anxious to touch more of her
but wanting to savor the moment, I slowly slid my
hands up her back. And feeling her warmth beneath the
material of her dress as I did, I was suddenly urgent
to touch the heat of her bare skin.
When my hands reached the top of her dress, I let my
fingers skim the back of her neck, hoping to have the
same arousing effect on her, as she’d had on me.
Lowering my head again, I concentrated on her bare
shoulder, which was just in my view. I delicately
brushed my lips against the place on her shoulder
where I’d traced my fingers the previous night. And I
felt, more than heard, Mac’s breathy sigh of response,
which drove my senses even further aflame.
~Yes I need her in the daytime
Yes I need her in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around her
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight~
~And when I'm returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul~
~She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love~
I was concerned that when the song ended, the charmed
moment between us would be lost. I feared that if one
of us thought about it too long, the portal of
opportunity would close for us -- I was desperate not
to have something jerk us from this island reality.
My heart pounding in anticipation, I wanted to act
before that something had a chance disturb us. I
tilted my head back just far enough to read her face.
And I saw her eyes reflecting back the same desire
that I knew was readable in my expression as well.
In the fraction of a moment of hesitation before our
mouths met, I could feel her breath on my lips. The
sensation was so erotic that what I had intended as a
gentle questioning kiss, turned into something more
insistent. But her mouth opened to meet my tongue,
which was eager to taste her, and we kissed deeply,
leaving me just at the edge of control.
As we continued to kiss with growing fervor, I held
her tighter and pressed my hips into hers. I was sure
she could feel my hardness pushing into her, and she
leaned her hips right back into mine in response.
I thought that if we didn’t get off the dance floor
soon, our fellow island-dwellers would get way more
“bang” for their vacation buck than they’d intended.
Thankfully, Mac must have been thinking something
similar; as the music ended she said in my ear, “Let’s
take a walk.”
~ Night Three ~ Oh, What a Night
//MAC//
I wasn’t really sure what was going on between us. I
knew what I wanted, and from the way Webb had molded
his body to mine as we danced, it felt like he wanted
the same thing.
There was no doubt in my mind that we were not acting
out Mary and Cabby’s attraction. This dance was all
Mac and Webb.
As we moved to the music, he leaned his head back justenough to let me wrap my fingers in his hair. And in
my roused state, just touching his shortly cropped
hair was an erotic act.
My actions apparently had the same effect on him; at
the first contact, he murmured appreciatively, making
my insides melt and starting a warm wetness between my
legs.
To ground myself, I concentrated on his hands at my
back. As I did, he began to caress me and could feel
the muscles in his chest and arms work at guiding his
touch higher.
Beneath his clothes, Webb hides his muscular frame
well, and I was looking forward to experiencing more
of his concealed muscles as they strained and
contracted under our mutual touches.
He softly kissed my shoulder, the one he’d touched the
other night. A gesture of which I was certain he was
aware. Those are the kinds of details that Webb
loves. And I was beginning to appreciate that facet
of his personality, with a passion.
As his soft lips grazed my skin, I involuntarily let
out a sigh in response. I swore to myself that if he
ever touched that place on my shoulder again when we
were back in Washington, I’d come completely undone,
no matter what the circumstances.
Perhaps in reaction to my sigh, he tilted his head
back, giving us just enough room to make eye contact
before we kissed. Webb, whose lips on my shoulder had
been so soft and almost hesitant, kissed me with such
intensity.
In reply I opened my mouth to him, anxious for the
kiss to deepen. And when it did, it felt like the
fiery beginning of an exploration of bodies, senses,
tastes, and reactions that I wanted to last for hours,
days.
“Let’s take a walk,” I suggested as we broke our kiss;
both of us breathing in hard, short puffs.
We slipped out the side of the patio, leaving the
Beachcomber’s makeshift disco, and made our way down
the path to the beach. I lead the way, with Webb
holding onto my hand as he resumed kissing that same
shoulder with a consuming concentration.
But when we reached the beach, I turned from his
touch. I wanted to see his face in the bright
moonlight reflecting off the ocean.
“What’s going on here Webb? This wouldn’t be
happening if we were back home, would it?”
Whatever romantic effects the tropics were having, I
wanted to be sure of what was going on between us. It
was all of a sudden urgently important to me that
there be no regrets. Clayton Webb was all of a sudden
urgently important to me.
"I don’t know Mac, would it? I mean, we're not in
Washington, are we? We're not even on the same
continent, but does that change who we are?"
‘Okay, this is getting creepy,’ I thought.
Remembering that Webb had been in Sydney the same time
we were, I wondered for a second if he’d listened in
on my conversation with Harm that night on the ferry.
“Location doesn’t change who we are Webb,” I said,
following the script -- what the hell.
“Do you really believe that?” he countered.
I inhaled deeply, before slowly beginning to speak,
“I’m not sure. Maybe we’ve absorbed too much of Mary
and Cabby, or maybe this location *has* changed
something about us.”
I wasn’t sure where the conversation was going, and I
wondered if we were skirting around the issue to give
ourselves one last out before we went too far.
“That’s ironic,” he said with a short bitter laugh.
“I’ve felt more like Clayton Webb here, than I ever do
in Washington. I’d like to think that you’ve
responded to Clay, not Cabby,” he said taking a step
toward me before continuing with a sober look on his
face, “I know I’ve been responding to Sarah
Mackenzie, and I couldn’t care less about Mary
Layton.”
His words had a moving affect; this was the Webb that
I’d begun to hope was beneath his arrogant CIA facade. I took a step forward and brought my hand up to his
face. I touched the fringe of hair that framed his
forehead and ran my fingers along the side of his
cheek.
He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand, “Mac, if
you don’t take me back to your bungalow right now,
you’ll end up with sand in places that even the CIA
won’t be able to find.”
Smiling widely at him, my own desire coming to the
surface again, I kissed him roughly before taking his
hand and leading him to my bungalow.
I opened the door for us, and walked across the room
to turn on the lamp -- the one shaped like the leaning
palm trees that dotted the beach. I watched Webb
blink for a moment in the light as his eyes adjusted.
I turned his moment of distraction to my advantage by
stepping up to him, reaching for his shirt collar with
both hands, and bringing his lips to mine.
Minutes later, we broke our heated kiss, which had
really been more of a dueling of wet tongues, lips and
mouths, and we just stared at each other for a moment. Our heavy breathing was almost louder than the
breezes in the coconut trees and the breaking waves on
the beach near by.
We smiled at each other, and I let out a small laugh
at the absolute un-believability of the situation.
Just how did I find myself on a South Pacific island,
in the hot, passionate embrace of Clayton Webb?
~ The scene gets those funny flashback waves across
it, and we are now in the present. ~
I decide that I really don’t care, because his lips on
mine feel amazing. I cover him with caresses, getting
my hands on every inch I can reach. His body is
strong and sturdy, not so lanky like someone else I
know. Someone I’m really not concerned with at the
moment.
Curiosity and desire driving me wild, I aim us toward
the rattan-framed bed. If we keep kissing and
touching each other this way, I’m not sure I’ll be
able to stand up for much longer.
As we move, I tear my hands away from their
exploration of the firm muscles at his backside, and
start unbuttoning his shirt. His kisses grow in
urgency as I reach each successive button, until we
have to break our embrace as we hit the bed with our
legs, and collapse onto it.
//WEBB//
Mac caught me off guard when she started that
conversation on the beach. I don’t know what I was
expecting; it was perfectly reasonable to be
questioning this unlikely attraction between us. But
there was nothing I wanted to hide from her, and I
wanted her to know that.
As she touched me tenderly, all gentle thoughts left
my mind, “Mac, if you don’t take me back to your
bungalow right now, you’ll end up with sand in places
that even the CIA won’t be able to find.”
I was momentarily nervous as we reached her bungalow.
We were about to cross a line that couldn’t be
un-crossed. My hesitation was quickly forgotten
though, as she grabbed my shirt and kissed me, making
my confidence soar and re-igniting my passion.
If Chegwidden could see me now, I thought -- all hot,
sweaty, and panting with desire. Actually, I was very
thankful to have the Admiral many thousands of miles
away. But had I known that getting caught by Mac on a
sandy beach while clad only in a Speedo bathing suit,
and a skimpy one at that, would lead to this … I’d
have booked a vacation a long time ago.
~ The scene gets those funny flashback waves across
it, and we are now in the present. ~
I want to touch her everywhere with my hands, my
mouth, my tongue, all of me. And we can’t seem to get
to the bed fast enough. Once there, she dispenses
with my shirt and I inhale sharply as her hands touch
my chest, running her fingers across my nipples.
I slide my hand under the edge of her dress and relish
the feel of her silky skin. Reaching higher, I caress
the curve of her ass, eliciting a soft moan. And we
spend the next period of time quickly mapping out each
other’s bodies. Hands and lips touching exposed skin
at a fever pitch.
I stand her up to undo the zipper at the back of her
dress. Taking my time as I unzip it, I kiss the
length of her spine as more and more of her skin is
revealed. As her dress falls to the floor, Mac turns
around in my arms and for the second time this week I
see her full, bare breasts.
Last time, I spent my energy concentrating on not
looking at them. Now I freely admire her round shape,
and watch as my hands move over her curves. Looking
up at her face, I see that she’s watching my hands
too, and I grin at her as she glances up to catch my
eye.
Pulling her close against my body with one hand, I use
the other to massage her right breast, lightly
pinching her nipple as she kisses my neck and my jaw
line, moaning with pleasure.
“Webb, I think you’ve got too many clothes on for the
climate here,” she pants, reaching to press her palm
into my erection beneath the khaki pants I’ve still
got on.
I lean into her hand, enjoying her attentions as she
firmly caresses my hardness. Momentarily disappointed
as she draws her hand away, I am relieved to see her
reach for my belt buckle. She deftly undoes it -- andmy pants. I kick off my huarachi sandals as she lets
my pants pool around my feet, leaving me in just my
boxers.
With my erection straining to be released, she runs
her hands down my chest, past my lower abdomen, and
kneels before me as she pulls my boxers down, so I am
completely naked before her.
She places hot wet kisses along my upper thighs,
working her way toward my cock. I thread my fingers
through her hair, “And I thought the CIA knew about
torture,” I manage to say.
She finally lets her lips fall on my erection, and
taking my balls in one hand while grabbing my ass with
the other, she takes me fully in her mouth. As she
draws me in and out, her tongue slides around the
sensitive underside of my tip, and I let my head roll
back in pleasure.
“Come here,” I say, pulling her up to me, and then
settling us both down on the bed where I quickly set
out to divest her of her underwear, the last remaining
article of clothing between us. As I reach for her
panties, I pause to return her favor from earlier and
bear down on her mound with my palm, feeling the
wetness between her legs with my fingers.
Finally tossing the garment aside, I resume my kisses
and caresses. My left hand snakes back to her sex and
I explore her slick folds. Slipping a finger inside
her, I hear myself moan at how hot and wet she is.
More blood rushes to my cock in anticipation of it
replacing my fingers between those folds.
I feel Mac’s lips curve into a smile as we continue to
touch and taste one another. I’m sure she knows how
much I want her, and I’m glad.
I adjust my position on the bed to place my thumb over
her clit as I continue stroking her from the inside.
Gauging her reactions, I start out rubbing her
lightly, increasing the speed and intensity of my
touches as I find just the right combinations. She
buries her head in my shoulder, placing small kisses
and bites there, while her breathing starts to come in
short bursts.
“Webb,” she pants as I feel her inner muscles
contracting around my fingers, and I smooth out my
strokes as the waves begin to subside.
Mac takes just a moment to regain her composure. And
when she does, she lifts her head up, tosses her hair
out of her face, and looks at me with glassy dark
eyes.
“Well, that was unexpected.”
“Should I be insulted, Mac? Did you think a CIA
Assistant Deputy Director for Operations wouldn’t be
able to complete his mission?” I say, sitting up a
little and feeling playful.
“I’ve just never, um, you know -- just from being
touched. But I’d love to return the favor,” she says
almost sweetly, as she gives my chest a push, toppling
me back onto the bed.
Wrapping her hand around my erection, she starts to
work it purposefully up and down. And we stay like
that for a few minutes, exchanging fast open mouth
kisses.
“Maybe next time,” I say as I roll us over so that
she’s beneath me. My cock is pressing into her as we
grind into one another, and I position myself so that
I’m sliding against her wet opening.
I want this so badly, but don’t want to do anything
stupid, especially with her, “Mac, please tell me
you’re…” I practically beg.
I know it shouldn’t necessarily be her responsibility,
but I’m hoping we can have that conversation later.
“Pill? Yes.”
Thank God she knows what I’m asking, because I’m not
sure I’d be capable of forming a complete sentence at
the moment.
A second after Mac answers, she shoots back at me,
“Are you…”
“Yes. Totally clean,” I reply to her question. At
least that’s what I desperately hope she was asking.
“Good,” she pants back at me grabbing my hips and
guiding me into her.
I close my eyes at the sensation of being slowly
enveloped in her warmth. Once I’m stretched all the
way inside her, I still my movements as we adjust to
the feeling.
She looks up at me and touches the hair at my
forehead, letting her hand brush the side of my face.
It’s a repeat of her gesture from earlier, on the
beach. And I have to close my eyes, overwhelmed by
all the sensations.
Slowly I begin to move my hips again, pushing and
pulling against her. She hikes her legs up around me,
tilting her body to meet my thrusts. For better
leverage, I lean on my left forearm, and place my
other hand flat against the wall at the head of the
bed.
I’m getting closer and closer to the edge, and when I
look down at Mac, she’s panting hard too. As I feel
the beginning of her release and her muscles squeezing
around me, I let my body completely take over and ride
out the waves of our mutual climax.
Untangling ourselves from each other, and the
hopelessly rumpled bed sheets, I curl myself around
her, with my nose again buried in her hair, dozing off
as I inhale her scent, which is now mixed with the
smell of sweat, sex, and us.
~ Day & Night Four ~ Can’t Get Enough of Your Love
//MAC//
I wake up lying on my back with Webb on his side next
to me, his body halfway covering mine. And in the
next 23 minutes, I watch the sun make its way through
the open blinds of the bungalow; it’s a beautiful
sunrise.
But on this quiet morning, I am most enjoying the
nuances of color and shadow as the sun changes its
angle across the sleeping form of Webb as he clings to
me, still deep asleep.
His hair is a mess and his face full of stubble; I’m
sure I look no prettier. As the light brightens
towards its tropical limit, I study his body and
wonder about the man inside this sleeping form.
But I don’t have a chance to wonder too long. He
begins to wake up, shifting his body against me, and I
feel his morning erection pressing against my hip.
“God, I had the most erotic dream,” he says, his eyes
still closed.
“That’s funny, so did I,” I say playing along.
“Want to tell me about yours? Or shall I tell you
about mine?” he looks up at me finally, with warm
green eyes and a half-smile on his face.
“Why don’t we act them out?” I grin back, as I pounce
on him.
But before any acting out can be done I need to get
some breakfast, this Marine is starving. So we agree
to shower, and meet in the restaurant.
Getting up to gather his clothes, which are scattered
in heaps around the room, Webb bends over here and
there, collecting and donning each item one at a time. I lean back in bed,
admiring his body and the view
he’s giving me as he bends, twists, and adjusts.
Webb has an unassuming sturdiness about him. I decide
that it’s a fitting reflection of his personality.
He’s stable and dedicated – almost detached – on the
surface, but beneath that, is a man with real emotions
and a passion that you’d never guess.
When he’s out the door, I reluctantly step into the
shower and slowly wash my body. I spend extra time on
*that* shoulder, and all the places I remember him
kissing and sucking last night.
As I dry off, I hear the door open and Webb say, “It’s
me.” I’m impressed that he’s showered and dressed
already -- faster than a Marine. Although I was
taking my time. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have
beaten him.
Exiting the bathroom, I find him standing in the
middle of the room, clean-shaven and fresh-looking,
hands in the pockets of his shorts, and staring at me.
I flush with momentary modesty at being naked in front
of him in full daylight.
“Wow,” is all he says as he smiles at me.
I stare back at him, wondering if we need to talk
about this -- what it means, where it’s leading, what
will happen when we get back to DC. But the thoughts
are quickly pushed aside as he reaches out to touch
me, and I feel the chemistry bubbling between us
again.
Our kiss is leisurely and exploring; it lacks the
heated searching our kisses had last night. Sliding
his fingers over my still damp body as he backs away,
Webb sits down on the edge of the bed.
“Go ahead, get dressed. I’ll wait.”
“Aren’t you supposed to want to watch me strip?” I
tease.
“I want to watch you do *everything*.”
Not knowing what to say, or how exactly he meant the
remark, I turn to find my bikini and slip it on.
Wrapping my sarong around me like a dress and sliding
into my sandals, I only take 4 minutes and 3 seconds
to finish getting ready.
We sit with Bob and Mitzi at breakfast, who spend half
the time gushing about how they just *knew* that we
would hit it off, and teasing that we’d better not
forget their invitation to the wedding.
I play along, having fun with the charade. I’m
enjoying playing Mary and Cabby now – they are a
carefree couple, happy and excited about their
newfound romance. Mary and Cabby enjoy a simplicity
to their relationship that no matter how this turns
out, Webb and I will never have.
Between Cabby and Mary, there are no jobs involving
national security, no other relationships, or past
history to impede their coupling. And by the way Webb
is laughing and talking animatedly with Bob, I think
he’s enjoying the pressure-free roles of Mary and
Cabby too.
As we eat and talk, he brushes my knee now and then
with his hand, occasionally winding his fingers around
to the back of my leg to trace small circles there.
It’s so distracting that when he does it, I have a
hard time keeping up my end of the conversation.
Thoroughly appreciating the attention though, I slip
off one of my sandals and slowly run my toes up and
down his calf. And we’re practically making love with
our touches under the table.
Bob tells us that Derek is leading a group excursion
into town. Surely there might be a special someone
we’d like to do a little shopping for, Mitzi says
pointedly to Webb. I catch his eye and can see the
grin playing on his lips as he feigns a moment of
conspiracy with her.
Once in town, even out of the presence of the others,
Webb and I continue our easy, light conversation, and
I wonder if this is something that Mac and Webb can
sustain as well as Mary and Cabby. I’m surprised to
find a slight ache in my chest as I start to hope that
we can.
We fall into an easy stroll, and hold hands as we walk
through town talking quietly about the island’s
history as a territory and protectorate, and the
relatively few political troubles they’ve had since
gaining their independence. It’s such a nice change
to not be discussing a country overrun with terrorists
or warlords.
Stopping at an outdoor vendor selling freshly cut
sugar cane Webb buys me a stalk. I begin to suck on
the cane and purposely catch his eye as I take my time
swirling my tongue around the phallic treat. He looks
back at me hungrily and leads me quickly away from the
stand.
We make our way down a side street to a path traveling
to the local beach. Almost reaching the shore, he
pulls me off the trail.
“What’s going on Webb, are we being followed or
something?”
“God I hope not,” he says spinning around and pinning
me against a palm tree.
I finally catch on to his plan and I ask if he’d like
a lick of my sugar cane.
“I thought you’d never ask,” he says bending his head
forward to seductively take a lick of the cane before
leaning in to kiss me, the sweet juice mingling
between our mouths.
He straightens up and wipes a drop from the edge of my
lips. I grab his hand, take his finger in my mouth,
and mimic the earlier swirl of my tongue around the
sugar cane stalk.
He groans as I release his finger and he lets it
leisurely slide down my chin, tracing a line down my
neck. When he finally reaches the top edge of my
dress I can’t be still any longer. I grab his hips
and pull him to me wanting to feel his weight, and I
devour his mouth with kisses and assault his body with
my hands.
Stepping out of one of my sandals, I start to hike one
leg up around him and he grabs my foot placing my leg
around the back of his waist. His cool soft hand
feels so good on my foot, which is hot and tired from
walking around town. And the difference in our skin
temperatures is exhilarating and stimulating. I pull
him even closer to me with that same leg, locking him
against me.
We grind into each other for a few rough minutes until
I loosen my hold on him just enough to reach the top
of his shorts. Getting them down his legs just far
enough, I have to put my leg down for a moment, as I
slip off my bikini bottoms.
Webb lifts me up and I wrap both legs around him and
he leans me back against the perfectly sloped palm.
As he enters me I hear him moan my name, and he
continues to whisper it over and over again as he
thrusts into me and I grind back in response.
He reaches down between us, rubbing me in time to his
movements, and immediately I’m almost there. As my
muscles convulse and I let the shudders of my climax
take over my body, he reaches around to grab the tree
for extra leverage and in seconds he’s coming too.
He slips out of me and I shakily unwrap myself from
his body, looking around for my bikini bottoms. Webb
pulls them out of his shorts pocket and I find myself
not surprised that he thought save them from dropping
to the sandy ground. Clayton Webb is all about
details.
In an hour, we meet up again with Mitzi and Bob at our
agreed upon time. Mitzi drags me into several shops,
asking me to try on some tacky tourist t-shirts so she
can make sure that they’ll fit her granddaughters. I
can’t say no to her, but I wonder what kind of busty
grandkids she’s got, if *I’m* a similar size as she
insists.
//WEBB//
Waking up with Mac really was like a dream. I kept my
eyes shut as I woke up with my cock pressed hard
against her, and tried to ease any tension between us
by making a joke.
But the awkwardness that I’d feared was non-existent,
and as she playfully responded, I couldn’t wait to
open my eyes to see us together, naked.
I’d rolled my eyes as Bob and Mitzi called us over to
join them for breakfast, but was surprised at how much
I enjoyed their company. I’d found it easy to be
alone with Mac, and was nervous about being with her
in front of other people now that we’d crossed that
line that I was so concerned with.
Being with Mac and the Walkers was easy though. They
had no reason not to accept Cabby and Mary as a
couple, which made it hard to think of why it should
be hard to accept Clay and Mac as a couple, and I
liked that.
In town Mac and I walked leisurely together talking
about anything, and nothing really. And I was struck
by how little of that there is in my everyday life.
I attend social functions with my mother, and usually
have a good time with her. We can talk openly and
she’s well aware of my job and what it entails. But
the companionship of a woman, a lover, is not
something very familiar to me, and I found myself
feeling like I couldn’t get enough of Mac’s company.
It wasn’t just the exciting and extremely satisfying
sex we’d had, or the promise of more to come. I was
being myself with her, and I wanted to keep being
myself. I was weary of hiding my emotions, my
feelings, *myself* from everyone. I wanted a peer, a
companion, a partner, to share myself with.
But all thoughts of collegiality left my head as I
watched her lick that sugar cane. I couldn’t wait to
get her alone someplace. I was in awe of her
sensuality as she sucked and licked my finger, and
when she brought my hips to hers, kissing me with such
passion, I was completely lost in her. And now, I
will never look at another palm tree the same way
again.
Back on the Beachcomber’s shuttle bus, Mac and I hold
hands and make the ride back to the resort in a warm,
comfortable silence. As I stare out the window at the
cane fields and tropical landscape, I’m surprised at
the sharpness that momentarily grips my stomach as I
catch myself thinking that I could get used to having
Mac next to me like this, all the time.
I’m not prepared for that line of thinking or the
complications that go with it. I had been telling
myself to think ahead no more than a few hours at a
time with Mac, but the thought came unbidden and I was
struggling to push it aside.
“You up for the topless beach when we get back,” I
lean over and whispered to her, trying to steer my
mind in another direction.
“Will I get another look at you in that Speedo?” she
asks saucily.
“Now that you’re familiar with the merchandise, you
mean?” I say, raising my eyebrows.
Twenty minutes later, after returning to the
Beachcomber and excusing ourselves from Mitzi and Bob,
who were all too understanding, I watch Mac approach
me as I stand in the same spot where we’d first
spotted each other the day before yesterday.
Later on, walking down to the water I notice the
Quintanas lounging on the sand and looking *very*
romantic. Mrs. Quintana’s tango ploy must have worked
just as well as mine, and we exchange knowing smiles
as Mac and I pass by.
We walk into the water, and swim, and splash, and body
surf. Soon we find ourselves at the far end of the
beach, where we can stand almost chest deep in the
still, warm water near of the edge of the reef.
“How about I return that favor now?” Mac says as she
reaches out to find my cock.
I immediately look around to be sure we can’t be seen. Or at least, that Mac’s hand can’t be seen. And
blood floods my groin, making me hard in her hand.
“Oh yeah,” I manage to reply as I feel her scooting my
Speedos down past my hips, to release my growing
erection.
Mac’s hand moving on my cock under the water creates
such a different and delicious friction, and my brain
is so distracted that I can’t decide whether to watch
her hand through the distortion of the almost clear
blue ocean, or to close my eyes. What I really want
is to look into Mac’s eyes, showing her just what
she’s doing to me, physically and emotionally.
But as Mac continues to stroke me, we kiss with
tongues darting, sliding, and caressing. And when my
release finally pumps into the ocean, I lean my head
on Mac’s shoulder and try to even out my breathing.
I’m light-headed and the movement of the sea around us
isn’t helping. But I can’t tell if my head is
spinning from my orgasm or the thoughts I keep having
about Mac and me.
We spend the rest of the day at the beach, eat dinner
in my bungalow, and spend the night slowly making
love, which leaves me even more confused about what’s
happening between us, and I wonder if Mac feels it
happening too.
~Day Five~ Strange Fruit
//MAC//
Even after making love most of the night, we rise
early and shower. Together.
He soaps me up, and I do the same to him. Loving the
way it turns our skin slick, I slide my hands over his
body and watch his face as I massage his balls and
again begin to pump my hand over his hard cock.
“Believe me, you’ve more than re-paid that debt,” he
says, removing my hand, as he turns me around.
I feel his erection pressing against my backside as
his soapy hands slide around my waist. One migrates
to my breast where he squeezes my nipple, and I
encourage him with a groan. With his other hand, he
makes his way past my soapy curls to find my clit.
He continues his attentions to my breast, while
increasing the friction on my sex, and I lean on the
cool tiles of the shower for balance as he sends me
over the edge.
As I recover, I reach behind me and hold him close. I
lean my head back and can feel him resting his cheek
on my shoulder.
“Your turn,” I say finally, and I can feel him grin
against me.
I strain my neck around to kiss him, my tongue
swirling around his as I reach for his cock. With one
foot, he taps my feet apart, and I spread them wide in
response. I let him go, freeing my hands to brace
myself on the tile wall.
When I feel him enter me, we both let out a gasp.
It’s such a primal position, and the contact that his
cock makes inside me is almost forceful, but the way
he is touching me is so gentle.
With that dichotomy of sensations, Webb pounds into me
and I cry out his name as he comes hard inside me.
Afterwards, he rests on my back and continues to
caress me lazily for a few minutes.
Quickly rinsing himself off, Webb lets me have the
shower to myself. I close my eyes, wanting to gain
some perspective on the past few days.
As I wash, I acknowledge the slight soreness between
my legs from all the sex we’ve been having, and the
ache in my leg muscles from our encounter with the
palm tree yesterday. But I keep coming back to the
nagging in the back of my head that’s wondering what
will happen when we get home.
Breathing deeply, I tell myself to enjoy the rest of
my time here. And I realize that no matter what
happens, I’ll be forever grateful for this time with
Webb. I have absolutely no regrets. In fact, I feel
uncommonly lucky to have gotten past Webb’s protective
exterior to have had the pleasure of experiencing him
this way.
“And what a pleasure it’s been,” I say out loud to
myself, although I can’t stop the feelings of
something not far from *need* as I think about him.
We spend the day exploring the Beachcomber’s property,
and walking through the adjacent nature preserve. The
trail follows the water until tall cliffs take over
the shoreline and we have to head inland, climbing up
to a bluff overlooking the small bay that houses the
resort.
Webb excuses himself for a minute and I assume he’s
headed into the brush to relieve himself. I sit
almost at the edge of the drop-off and let my gaze
rest on the endless horizon of ocean, which is fringed
with enormous puffy white clouds.
I feel as if I’m sitting as tall as they are, and a
sense of calm and peace with my life that I’ve never
before felt settles over me.
Ever since I joined the Marines I’ve struggled to
leave my past behind. I know I will deal with my
alcoholism every day for the rest of my life, but
there’s been something more than that preventing me
from finding real peace of mind.
I assume it’s the baggage of my past, and the
relationships of my more present. But sitting her
now, I feel free of all that.
In spite of years in the Corps, becoming a damn good
lawyer, prosecuting and defending hundreds of cases --
including trying one of the most deadly terrorists in
the world -- it’s ironic that I had to come thousands
of miles to the middle of the ocean, in order to find
whatever it was that I needed to let myself be happy.
I hear Webb come back to where I’m resting and he
drops to the ground, straddling his legs around me and
pulling me back to rest on his chest. We sit in
silence like that for a while, content to look at the
view, feel the ocean breeze rise from below, and just
be together.
“Here, I thought you might be getting hungry,” he says
suddenly, passing me a mango.
“What did you do, ‘Tarzan Boy,’ climb a tree?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I did.”
He feigns insult, grabs the mango back from me, and
produces a small knife from his pocket to slice one of
the mangos for us to eat.
‘Always prepared,’ I think, taking a piece from him
and savoring the fresh, juicy fruit.
We walk the three miles back to the Beachcomber and
eat a full lunch before returning to his bungalow. I
kick my shoes off and rub my feet; I’m hot and sweaty,
and tired from the heat and humidity.
“Why don’t you rinse off,” Webb suggests, and I take
him up on the offer.
As I towel off, he steps under the water to take his
turn. I start across the room and stop in my tracks
as I spot one of his signature three-piece suits
hanging in the closet.
“Don’t leave home with out it,” I say out loud to
myself.
The incongruity of the garment in this tropical locale
really is kind of funny. But the sight of that suit
brings my mind back to our impending departure
tomorrow.
It’s coming too soon, I want another week here. I
want more time with Webb.
But I push aside the questions and the confusing
feelings as I pad on my bare feet out to the back
porch of the bungalow. I sit naked in the hammock
there and wait for him to come out.
I watch as Webb emerges naked from the bathroom and I
see a look of panic worry the contours of his face as
he looks around the room, not seeing me there.
He finally swings his head around to see me lying in
wait for him and he grins wide, his eyes sparkling.
Webb pulls the knife out of his shorts and picks up
another one of the mangos as he walks to me. He
kneels down and I angle my body towards his, so that
I’m sitting almost perpendicular in the hammock.
I love the ease with which we sit on the porch, fully
naked, simply enjoying the afternoon and the fresh
fruit; it feels completely comfortable and natural to
be together this way.
Webb meticulously peels the mango and proceeds to cut
bite size pieces out of it. He hands them to me one
at a time, sometimes feeding them to me, letting his
fingers linger on my lips.
I take one of the pieces and place it on my chest. He
looks at me, slightly puzzled, but hands me another
piece anyway. I put this one on my abdomen. The next
one goes lower, and finally he catches on.
He hands me several more pieces, which I strategically
place on my body; and I wait for him, taking one from
my stomach to place it between my teeth, grinning at
him in an invitation to bite it from my lips.
And he does not disappoint.
//WEBB//
As far as we’ve been from the crowds of civilization
this week, it was nice to be truly away from
everything. Walking in the dense quiet of a tropical
forest makes you feel like you’re the first person to
explore its natural beauty. And it brings your place
in the world into a finer perspective.
As I came back from picking the mangos, I paused for a
minute to watch Mac. I could tell she was lost in
thought, probably also affected by the beautiful
isolation of the surroundings. And I couldn’t help
hoping that it was me she was thinking about.
We happily shared one of the mangos before making the
hike back, anxious to refresh ourselves from the day’s
heat and exercise.
While in the shower, the demanding nature of my job
crept back into my consciousness as I realized that
I’d be flying on to Dubrovnik the next day.
Mac and I would be going in opposite directions.
While she’s flying east and headed for home, I’ll be
continuing on west where duty calls.
I hoped that when we were together again
geographically…Well, I wasn’t sure what to think, or
even how to begin to imagine interacting with her in
Washington after this.
Taking a deep breath as I shut off the water, I tried
not to project into the future. I wanted to
concentrate on the next 24 hours.
As I came out of the bathroom, I thought Mac had gone,
and I felt a wave of regret fall over me. We still
had the rest of the afternoon and the night together;
I wasn’t ready for her to leave me yet.
Grinning as I spotted her lying naked on the hammock,
I grabbed another mango to share with her as we cooled off in the ocean breeze.
It took me a minute to figure out what she was doing
with those pieces of fruit, but I finally got the
message. Loud and clear.
As I take the first bite from between her teeth, I’m
careful not to disturb the other pieces on her body.
I plan on getting to those, one at a time.
After kissing her deeply, sharing a mouthful of mango
juice, I proceed to my next target. The one on her
shoulder. I smile at how that shoulder of hers has
taken on a special significance for us.
Nibbling her there for a moment, I move on to the
fruit sitting over her belly button. I slurp it up,
making sure to sweep the juice from her navel as I do.
This produces a belly laugh from Mac, and I admonish
her not to disturb the fruit buffet she’s laid out for
me, “I’m not done eating.”
“I sure hope not,” she shoots back, pointedly.
Taking my time with the few remaining pieces of mango,
I leave the one placed just above her sex for last.
And finally taking it in my teeth, I slide it farther
down, letting the juice coat her folds, which are
already moist from her own juices.
I swallow the fruit slice whole, as I savor the mix of
flavors of Mac and mango, and she lets a moan of
pleasure escape her lips as I do. Reaching my hand up
to fondle her breasts and pinch at her nipples, she
threads her fingers through my hair, urging me on.
Slipping two fingers inside her as I continue to lick
and suck at her clit, I feel her legs rhythmically
tensing around my neck and shoulders. Pushing my head
tighter against her sex, she’s soon vocalizing her
release as the contractions take over control of her
muscles.
After licking up the last of her juices, still faintly
tasting of mango, I stand up and lean down to kiss
her. She eagerly tastes herself on my lips and in my
mouth. The act is so sexy, my cock jumps as her
tongue sweeps through my mouth. “God, I want you,” I
say.
Helping her up, we go back inside to the bed, where
she pushes me down and straddles my hips. Balancing
herself just over my erection, I reach for her and
guide her down onto me.
Her inner muscles are still taut from her climax, and
within minutes I’m throwing my head back and feeling
the waves of my own orgasm consume me.
We shower all over again, and she leaves to change her
clothes for dinner. After she’s been gone for only
five minutes, I already feel lonely without her.
~Night Five~ Last Dance
//MAC//
As I dress for dinner, the reality of the outside
world comes crowding into my brain -- I’m going home
tomorrow. Home means going back to a world of
terrorists and a country at war, and back to work and
my role in that war.
But it also means “away from Webb.”
The events of this week were unexpected, to say the
least -- not just physically, but emotionally too.
Webb’s shown how different he can be off-duty and away
from work. The trouble is with Webb, off-duty and
away from work are rare occurrences.
But maybe it makes a difference just knowing that he
*is* different. That beneath the tin-man exterior
there are some soft, tender places. And by showing
some of that vulnerability, he’s shed a bit of his
armor for me.
I begin to allow the possibility that he’s someone I
could let my guard down with too, in a way I haven’t
with anyone else. Maybe I already have.
I’m certain that he’s fully vetted me for each and
every mission I’ve been involved with. Webb knows my
past, and my more recent history. I have no doubt
he’s kept close tabs on my life, my work, and my
relationships.
So for all the things in my distant, and not so
distant, past that I could be embarrassed about, he’s
seen all my skeletons already. Perhaps that’s why
it’s been so easy with him this week.
I hardly know anything about Webb’s personal life, and
I know very few specifics about his professional
dealings. I do know that he’s had to make hard
choices, often involving the lives – and deaths – of
both combatants and civilians. And he carries that
burden with him, paying for mistakes he’s made.
Maybe with each other we can both leave our demons
behind.
Returning to DC also means returning to my
non-relationship relationship with Harm – which was
one of my chief reasons for coming on this vacation in
the first place. He and I have been through so much
together, and yet we can’t seem to even get past the
*possibility* of exploring a romantic relationship.
I’m coming to believe that there might be a point when
it’s just too late. Too much time has passed, too
many opportunities have gone un-explored. If it were
meant to be, it would have worked itself out.
Now, not only do Harm and I have whatever issues
prevented us from taking that final step in the first
place, but we’ve also created baggage of our own. And
as much as I wanted it, or thought I did, perhaps
starting back at the beginning is just not possible.
I’m surprised that I don’t feel more regret or sadness
thinking of Harm in that way – in the past tense. But
if feels as if I’ve just given myself permission to
move on.
Even through my engagement with Mic, I still held onto
the idea of Harm and me. Now I feel free of that
burden. The games, the waiting, the guessing, and the
dancing around have been exhausting.
I know that Harm and I will always be close, and
involved in each other’s lives. And that’s important
to me. There’s a twinge of nostalgia, but also I feel
like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. I feel
almost a couple of hundred pounds, and one flight
suit, lighter.
Letting that go, I smile to myself as I let my mind
wander back over the past week. I marvel at the
intensity and confidence that Webb has. I never want
to compare them -- my relationships with Harm and Webb
have been so different. But they are so similar, and
yet so unlike, that I can’t help it.
Harm’s character-defining confidence is really an
arrogance born of insecurities and a need for
emotional distance. Webb’s confidence is an intensity
stemming from necessity and self-preservation.
Webb freely chose his job, and dealt with the
consequences of that choice. Harm’s life has been a
consequence of his father’s disappearance, which has
driven him to make the life choices he has.
I realize how all these years I’ve mistaken Webb’s
emotional distance for arrogance and disdain. But I
realize now, that it’s how he survives in a job that
forces such emotional isolation.
Although I now feel freed from the burden of Harmon
Rabb, I find myself hesitantly longing for something
new I didn’t know I wanted. And some*one* I’m not
sure I can have.
Webb.
I don’t even know what he wants. And even if we both
want this, I’m not certain what *this* is, or what it
will -- or can -- become back in Washington.
Neither of us has said a word about it. We’ve talked
about work, JAG, the CIA, Washington, and the mutual
friends we have. But we’ve carefully avoided any real conversation about what’s going on between us, and
what the ramifications are. Or what we want them to
be.
Here in this remote reality, I think we haven’t wanted
to burst the bubble of this “fantasy island.” But I
can’t help re-playing a dozen quiet moments that have
passed between us that spoke louder than any words we
haven’t uttered – a look between us, a touch under the
table, the small caresses and attention to the tiniest
details of each other’s bodies.
I’m really not getting myself anywhere by letting my
mind reel over and over something I have no answers
to. So I quickly finish getting ready, putting on a
short, simple blue cocktail dress before I leave.
I walk the short distance to meet Webb in front of his
bungalow. I wait in a shadow on the side of the path
to watch him emerge from the door and take the five
steps down to the walkway. He’s got on a pressed pair
of sand colored pants and a dusty green button down
shirt.
I relish the opportunity to watch him unnoticed. I
love the way he moves, and knowing the way his body
feels under those clothes, I imagine him coming to JAG
Headquarters for a meeting and watching him enter the
Admiral’s office -- all I’ll be able to think about is
what’s going on under his three-piece suit.
But he’s pacing nervously back and forth looking for
me now, and I wonder if our departure tomorrow is on
his mind too.
“Hey,” I say, coming out from the shadows.
“Hey, yourself,” he says back, almost shyly, holding
out his hand to me.
We link our fingers together and walk to dinner,
meeting the Walkers and the Quintanas as we’d agreed
to earlier.
Being social like this with Webb on our last night is
bittersweet for me. With everything we do tonight,
I’ll be wondering if it will be the last time, and
part of me doesn’t want to share this time with
anyone.
I’m actually sad to be saying farewell to our fellow
Beachcomber vacationers too. They’ve been such a part
of my experience here. And they’ll forever be linked
in my mind with Webb.
So I sit back and try to enjoy myself in the company
of these people who’ve made me feel relaxed and
welcome as Mary Layton. These people who have
encouraged Mary and Cabby to find some romance
together on this island, and for that I’m grateful.
Webb seems to be getting nostalgic too; he’s talking
with the Walkers about their next vacation and
agreeing to visit the Quintanas in Argentina. I
wonder if he’ll really show up at their house sometime
posing as Cabby, but really needing help with some
mission. I’d love to see that.
As we finish dinner, Derek stops at our table to
remind us about the dancing and Karaoke on the patio
later. I slip out, telling Webb I’m going to the
ladies room and that I’ll meet the group outside…but
I’ve got something else in mind.
I catch Derek as he’s setting up the sound system, and
I ask him to play a song for me. I’ve got one last
Karaoke in me, and I know just the song.
I disappear into the restroom for a few minutes and
when I look back out on the patio, Webb is sitting at
a table, sipping something out of a pineapple that has
a large paper umbrella sticking out of it.
I try to memorize the image, taking a mental snapshot
to file away as another unbelievable Webb memory –
along with the pictures in my mind of him in a Speedo,
out of a Speedo, on top of me, under me, throwing his
head back and calling my name as he climaxes inside
me…
I have to stop my inner-slide show before I end up
just dragging him onto the beach and tearing his
clothes off. Not a moment too soon, Derek announces
the first Karaoke performance of the evening, and with
that, I step out and take the stage as the piano intro
to the song fades in.
~Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby you're the best~
The looks that pass across Webb’s face when he
realizes what’s happening range from shy and
embarrassed to happy, flattered, and sad all at the
same time.
It’s such a stupid song and I really meant for it to
be a fun prank. But he’s looking so serious and
confused it’s breaking my heart. So I try to go easy
on the play-acting with him, and concentrate on Nick
and Mike instead, who seem quite pleased to have me
dancing and singing in front of their table.
~I wasn't looking
But somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above me
The spy who loved me
Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight~
I can’t help it -- I look right at Webb as I deliver
the line, “the spy who loved me.” And I realize that
I do want him to love me – I don’t think I can help
that either.
~And nobody does it better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody does it quite the way you do
Why’d you have to be so good?~
~The way that you hold me, whenever you hold me
There's some kind of magic inside you
That keeps me from running
But just keep it coming
How’d you learn to do the things you do?~
I get through the rest of the song nervously avoiding
Webb. I sashay up to Bob, and flirt with Bart, and
Inger too.
But Webb and I keep meeting each other’s glances, and
as I near the end of the song, I’m not sure what to
think. I hope I haven’t shattered the serenity of our
island fling.
~And nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, baby, baby you're the best~
I finish the song, hand the mic back to Derek, and
start towards Webb. But he’s gone and I’m sure now
that I’ve scared him off completely.
//WEBB//
It’s not that haven’t had lovers or even been on
missions where I’ve gotten emotionally involved. But
I’m expertly practiced at hiding who I really am.
I’ve never been involved with a woman who knew the
truth about what I did for a living.
Not ever letting anyone in that far, I’ve come to fear
that kind of intimacy, even if my job didn’t prohibit
it. I wonder sometimes if it’s too late for me.
But Mac’s restored my faith in my ability to open up.
My *desire* to open up. There hasn’t ever been anyone
else who’s made me want to do that.
I’ve started reminding myself that no matter what
happens between us when we return to our daily lives,
she’s shown me a part of myself that I didn’t know was
still in me -- the ability to love and trust.
All this was going through my mind as I waited outside
my bungalow for Mac. And when she came down the path,
I tried not to let on that I had been thinking so
seriously about us.
While we were at dinner, it hit me that I’m going to
miss this stint as Cabby. It’s been a relief to let
my guard down. But I know that my work, which usually
prevents such relaxation, is my life and my passion --
although I’m coming to realize that there are other
things that I can feel passionately about.
Dinner was delicious and the easy company of the
Quintanas and Walkers made me even more regretful
about having to leave tomorrow. I was really enjoying
this last evening and was even considering of doing a
little Karaoke. Then Mac came out and sang that awful
song.
I’d like to say a dozen beautiful women have played
that song for me. The truth is I can’t imagine that
any woman has thought such complimentary things about
me as a lover.
So as absurd as it was, I was truly touched. And it
scared me, I didn’t know what to think or how to
react, it froze me in my tracks.
This whole week with Mac has been amazing, erotic,
exciting, loving, and confusing. I feel deeply for
her, and I hope she knows that this spy *does* love
her, even if I don’t have the nerve to tell her. But
that thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth…Rabb.
The bastard may have thought he loved Mac, maybe he
still thinks he does. But from my viewpoint, it’s
been a selfish affection, and Mac deserves so much
more than that.
Not wanting to get bogged down thinking about Rabb, I
concentrate on the rest of Mac’s performance. I try
to laugh along with Bob and Mitzi about what fun it
looks like Mac is having. But really, she looks as
nervous as I feel.
Mac’s song fades out and Derek starts the dance music. But before Mac has a chance to walk back to our
table, I slip out. I’ve got something planned for her
as well. One last dance.
By the time I come back from talking with Derek, Mac
is dancing with Nick and Mike and I stop to admire her
beautiful shape and the way she moves. I walk up
behind her and wrap my arms around her.
She knows it’s me right away, and there’s not a hint
of a flinch from her. I guess our game of sneaking up
on each other is moot now. We’ve become familiar with
each other’s bodies, scents, and something else
intangible that adds up to the intuition of knowing
when a lover is close by.
As the music changes, and the song I requested comes
on, she turns in my arms and smiles at me, making me
feel warm and nervous, like a kid with a crush on his
teacher. And I love it.
~Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing~
We dance close and I sing playfully in her ear. My
heart is pounding in my chest as we dance, and I don’t
know if it’s because I really want to tell her how I
feel but am afraid of how she’ll react, or if it’s
just a result of being in her arms.
~Somewhere beyond the sea
She’s there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms I’d go sailing~
“Well, Mac this is it,” I say, trying to open up the
conversation, not entirely sure how I want it to
proceed.
“Farewell Beachcomber. Bye, bye Speedo,” she laughs,
with just a touch of nervousness in her voice.
“Don’t you think we should talk about…this?” I say,
gesturing between us. I’m almost hurt that she
appears to be relatively lighthearted about our last
night together.
“I’m not sure we should,” she says hesitantly, “I
don’t want to spend tonight over-analyzing. I just
want to enjoy it. You.”
I relent, wondering if we’ll ever have another
opportunity to talk about what’s happened between us
or if we’ll both let it slip into the past forever.
~It’s far beyond a star
It’s near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon~
~We’ll meet, beyond the shore
We’ll kiss just as before
Happy we’ll feel beyond the sea
And never again I’ll go sailing~
I try to ease back into the festive mood of the night,
and I pull her closer to me. I can’t completely let
it go though.
“I don’t want you to look back on this as just a
tropical fling with Cabby Welton,” I say hoping that
she’ll understand what I’m trying to convey.
“Does that mean I’ve been with the real Clayton Webb
all week? The one beneath the trench coats, the three
piece suits…the Speedo?” she says transitioning the
conversation from anything serious it might have
become, into something erotic and teasing.
~I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon~
~We’ll meet, I know we’ll meet, beyond the shore
We’ll kiss just as before
Happy we’ll feel beyond the sea
And never again I’ll go sailing
No more sailing, so long sailing
Bye, bye sailing~
As she presses her hips into mine she’s rather
convincing, and I begin lose any desire to keep
talking. When the song ends we say our goodnights to
everyone, and get knowing winks as we walk in the
direction of the bungalows.
Once we’re inside her bungalow, we stop talking
altogether. In silence, I undress her, slipping the
straps of her dress off her shoulder, un-zipping the
back, and letting the silky material fall to the
floor.
She’s only wearing a skimpy pair of panties that she
removes as I begin to caress her skin, which is now a
rich brown from our time in the sun.
She closes her eyes as I study her body, softly
running my hands everywhere. As I comb my fingers
through her hair, she tilts her head back and I begin
to kiss and nibble at her neck.
Smiling and uttering a soft “hmmm,” Mac lifts her
hands to my shirt to unbutton it.
I break from kissing her neck giving her better
access, and she mimics my actions by slowly undressing
me. I don’t close my eyes though, I want to watch her
every move. I want to remember this.
Finally, we’re both naked and breathing hard, even
though our movements have been almost painfully slow.
We sink to the bed and make slow, almost heartbreaking
love.
I settle between her legs, filling her with my
hardness and I hold myself steady. Mac looks up at
me, swallowing hard, and her eyes search mine. I’m
not sure what she’s looking for, but I hope she’s
found it.
“Webb,” she says simply.
We thread our fingers tightly together and begin a
rhythm with our hips that we match with our clenching
hands, and we work together toward release.
She says my name just one more time as her climax
begins; and my orgasm follows as I let her waves take
me over as well.
We still say nothing as we fall asleep holding each
other. It’s wonderful and sad all at the same time.
And I didn’t know I could ever feel this way.
~Day Six~ Take, Take Me Home
//MAC//
Webb told me this morning as I watched him pack, that
he’s flying west today. There’s an assignment he has
to follow up on.
I should have suspected when I saw the suit in his
closet. I guess I just didn’t want to think about us
going back to our jobs.
I’ve gotten to know Webb this week with no suits and
no uniforms. It scared me to feel like I might not
know him once he puts that suit on.
This morning I woke up in his arms, as I have for the
past two days. And again I watched him sleep while
the sun came up.
I knew he had wanted to talk last night. I just
wasn’t ready to let go of this -- what ever *this* is.
And I was afraid that having some kind of
conversation last night might have ruined what’s come
so easily this week. And I wasn’t ready to give that
up.
I’m still not. In the light of morning, even more
than last night, I didn’t know what to say.
When he woke up, we made love again, fast and hard,
pouring all our emotions into the physical act. I was
feeling so many things – confusion, regret, hope,
frustration, love.
An hour later, I’m already showered and packed,
feeling proud of my one suitcase and speedy timing.
Now I have nothing to do but watch Webb. He’s got the
suit on, but I find that either he’s still in his
“Cabby” mode, or I just never paid much attention
before now to how sexy those suits can be. I’m
relieved to find that he still seems like the Webb
I’ve come to know this week.
We make slightly strained small-talk as he shuttles
between the closet, his suitcase, and the bathroom.
He’s meticulous about the way his clothes are folded
and placed in his luggage.
I picture him unpacking at his destination, neatly
repeating this same process in reverse order. He
hasn’t told me where he’s going or what the mission
is, and part of me doesn’t want to know.
I don’t want to think about what might await him
there. Whether it’s someone at the other end of a
weapon, or another woman he’s with -- for work or
otherwise.
He finally zips up the last of his bags and with him
in his suit, and me in casual slacks and a cotton top,
we share a taxi to the airport.
As we ride in silence, holding hands, I keep thinking
that it’s now or never. I should say something, but
it’s too late to start a conversation. It’s ironic
that all of a sudden I have so many things I want to
say, but I can’t bring myself to speak.
We check our luggage at our respective airline
counters and since his flight leaves 25 minutes after
mine, he walks me to my gate.
As we make our way through the small airport, he’s got
his arm protectively around me, his thumb circling
intently on my shoulder.
My flight begins boarding just as we arrive, and I
turn to him, reaching forward to brush the hair
framing his face. We lean in for a final kiss, and I
have to restrain myself from holding onto him for too
long.
As he releases me from his embrace, Webb puts his lips
to my ear, “I love you.”
Before I can say anything or even react, he’s turned
from me and all I can do is watch him walk away.
Once on the plane, I settle into my seat, thankful
that the rest of my row is empty. I reach into my
carry on bag for my paperback, and find a small
jewelry box. I open it to see a small pair of black
coral stud earrings.
I laugh as I realize that Mitzi must have been
distracting me on purpose, making me try on all those
t-shirts for her grandkids. I should have known her
13-year-old granddaughter didn’t have my bust size.
I put the earrings on, and doze until the flight
attendant asks me if I want headphones for the movie.
Inquiring what the in-flight film is, she replies,
“The Spy Who Loved Me.”
Figures. But at least I’ll have that to keep me
company as I return home feeling a little lonely, and
little empty inside.
//WEBB//
I kept my eyes closed as long as I could this morning,
willing my breathing to stay even so Mac wouldn’t know
I was awake. I wanted to lie with her as long as
possible, feeling her warmth and breathing her scent,
and the scent of us together.
When I finally moved, it was to kiss her. And from
that kiss, we fell into a hot, fast-paced assault on
each other’s bodies. Every slow touch we exchanged
last night was replaced with heated almost rough
gestures this morning.
Later, I took as long as I could while packing,
knowing that when I was through, we’d have to make the
taxi ride to the airport. I felt the heavy pressure
of time ticking away, and simply didn’t want to go.
We were quiet on the way to the airport, and while she
was finding her gate listed on the marquee, I slipped
my little gift into her bag.
I know it was un-characteristically sappy of me. But
in my own defense, Bob made me do it. He insisted
that I buy “Mary” a gift. And even though Bob thought
them a decidedly un-romantic selection, I’d warmed to
the idea of a token gift for Mac, and wanted something
that she could wear with her uniform.
Parting from her at her gate, Mac repeated one last
time the sweep of her hand across my hair. And as we
kissed, I tried to put all my feelings into the
too-brief contact.
Thoughts of my assignment in Dubrovnik had started to
filter into my head. I’ve known the whole time that
it will likely be a dangerous situation, but all of a
sudden, it was crucial for me to tell Mac how I feel
about her.
“I love you,” I said, not giving her time to respond
or even see my face. I walk quickly away and make my
way to the other end of the terminal to wait for my
flight.
Now I sit in my first-class window seat, on a plane
headed for God knows what. And for the first time, I
feel like I have more to come home to than my mother
and my fish. At least I hope I do.
~Back Home~ Somewhere, Beyond the Sea
//MAC//
It’s the end of my first week back at work since
returning from vacation, and I haven’t heard from
Webb. Not that I really expected to. Well, maybe I
did, especially given the way we left things at the
airport.
Part of me is angry, feeling that he at least owes me
the courtesy of an explanation for his last minute
declaration. But mostly I’m sad and a little worried. I have no idea where he is or if the assignment he’s
on is dangerous. And I find myself really missing him
in my bed at night. It leaves me with an ache in my
chest that I can’t quite shake.
Lost in thought and absently mindedly playing with the
earrings from Webb – which I’ve been wearing all week
-- I jerk my head up as Tiner pounds on the frame of
my open office door.
“Ma’am?” he says emphatically.
“Yes Tiner, what is it?” I say a little too harshly.
“I’ve been knocking for a couple of minutes, I guess
you didn’t hear me.”
“Sorry Tiner, I’m just a little distracted,” it’s only
then that I realize that he’s holding a large basket
of fruit in his hands.
“Tiner, what are you holding?”
“This just came for you, Ma’am. Where would you like
it?”
I tell him to set the thing on my desk and I negotiate
around a palm frond and a pineapple to find the card
wedged between two mangos. I figure it’s from the
Beachcomber, thanking me for spending my American
dollars and asking when I’ll be returning.
As I read the card, my heart starts to pound and a
week’s worth of memories come flooding back to me.
The card is typed, obviously ordered by someone over
the phone. It reads, “I meant what I said,” and it’s
signed “Cabby Welton,” with a phone number typed in
under the name.
“Meet someone new on vacation, Mac?” Harm sticks his
head into my office and inquires with that ‘feel sorry
for me’ tone in his voice.
“Someone new?” I question, not sure how to answer,
“Not exactly,” I finally reply as I turn my back on
him to read the card again.
//WEBB//
It’s the middle of the night and it should have been
hours since the fruit basket was delivered. I wonder
if I’ve made a huge ass of myself.
She’s probably already told Rabb all about it, leaving
out the sex I suspect, concentrating on the part of
the story where I turn up in a Speedo. Soon Harriet
will be telling Tiner, who will tell the Admiral,
who’ll scold Tiner for gossiping, but will love the
story none the less.
And I just know I’ll be the butt of the office jokes
at JAG for some time to come. Not that I already
haven’t been, but the thought still stings. Maybe
I’ll request an over-seas post -- someplace with no
phones, and definitely no palm trees or mangos.
As my cell phone starts to ring with its staccato
beeps, I sit up in bed with a start. Looking at the
number on the caller id, my insides jump and my heart
thuds loudly as I flip it open to answer with a smile,
“Hello, Miss Layton.”